Theatrical Review: The Green Inferno (2015)

It's always interesting to us how so many people give Eli Roth credit for being "The Voice of Horror" for the modern age. Before Green Inferno, he'd only directed three movies: Cabin Fever, and Hostel 1 & 2, and depending on who you ask, those three movies aren't that great. *Not us, we love them all.

The point is, that as much as we like Eli Roth and his work, he gets an awful lot of credit for directing three movies, and producing some halfway decent TV Shows, and other movies.

So heading into The Green Inferno, we had high expectations. Not only is it Roth's first directorial effort in six years, but it's a mainstream cannibal movie that somehow managed to get an American theatrical release. For us, this movie was to be Eli Roth's return to form, and for the most part, it was.

*We also really hope that there will be some extensive Behind the Scenes material on the Blu-ray, as what the cast and crew went through while making The Green Inferno is every bit as compelling as the movie itself, and in some ways, even moreso.

Justine is an idealistic college freshman who wants to save the world. She's drawn to a social activism group mainly due to the Latin charms of its leader, Alejandro, and is talked into heading into the depths of the Amazon Rainforest, to save some trees from an evil logging company. Because there's not 2 million square miles of it or anything.

"OMG THOSE POOR TREES!"

Justine and her new SJW (Slacktivist?) friends hop on a plane, head to Peru, and chain themselves to said trees in order to protest the evil deforestation, which does absolutely no good, as it only slows things down by a day or two. You'd think that college students would realize that sort of outcome before risking their lives so foolishly, wouldn't you? But they took a brave stand, and now they can head back to their lattes and iPhones, knowing that they made no difference at all.

SHE'S BEEN AWAY FROM HER iPHONE FOR 3 DAYS NOW, AND THE PANIC IS FINALLY SETTING IN.

On the return trip home, their plane crashes, leaving them stranded in the middle of the Rainforest. Then, the very native tribe whose home they were there trying to save shows up, knocks them out with tranquilizer darts, takes them back to their village, and eats them one by one.

They probably should have just stayed home and protested on Twitter.

...AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

The Green Inferno may not be all that deep, and its characters may be all kinds of dumb and annoying, but damn was it great seeing them get torn part and eaten. I know that sounds creepy, but this is a cannibal movie that exists to showcase its visceral nastiness, so what else are we supposed to say? Eli Roth did a nice job of offering up a bunch of pretentious and self-serving idiots to the cannibal gods, and as disgusting as some of it was to watch, it was equally as pleasing to see them get what they had coming. And some of them really had it coming.

There's no shortage of disgusting action in this movie, although it does take about 40 minutes for it to begin. The first kill, the diarrhea, what was in those bowls... the squeamish will definitely squeam during this one. It could have pushed the boundaries a bit more, but it was nasty enough, overall.

"WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE!"

The points that this movie made were pretty good ones, and were part of the reason that we liked it so much.

• First off, we live in a country where everyone is keen to take a stand on just about any hot button issue that comes along, even if they have no idea what they're rallying against. Most of this SJW (Social Justice Warrior) outrage takes place on the Twitters and the Reddits of the Internet, which doesn't really do much real world good, but leaves people feeling like they've done something brave and strong, inbetween filing reports at work, or watching cat videos on YouTube.
• Second, and maybe even more relevant, is the fact that so many "privileged" Americans are very quick to jump into the affairs of other countries as if its their right to tell other civilizations how to live. It's an entitlement thing, and it's maddening.

Now, people standing up against injustice is a great and necessary thing. With the advent of the Internet, people all over the world have a unified voice, and that voice can help bring about change, at least in some ways. Eli Roth is right though in his assessment of online SJW culture, and how people are overly-anxious to jump on the bandwagon of just about any cause, simply because its easy to yell "That's not right! It has to change!" from behind their computer screens, rather than get off their asses and actually help to change things for the better.

At least the kids in this movie did get off their asses and try to do actually something, even if they had no idea what they were getting themselves into (on multiple levels), and ended up dying for something that they probably weren't ready to give their lives for.

"THIS NEVER HAPPENED WHEN I PROTESTED KONY!"

There were two things about this movie that irked us.

For a cannibal movie, it was a little light on the gore. Make no mistake, the movie is pretty gory and nasty, but it really should have ramped up that nastiness a bit. After all, it's not like you're going to offend anyone who is paying to see a cannibal movie with more blood, violence, and gut munching. After the first kill, it seemed like the violence was dialed way back.

We were also a bit letdown by the end of the movie. It was a bit muddled and confused, and it left off with a tease for a potential sequel, which just felt odd.

WHAT IS SHE WINKING AT?

We loved The Green Inferno for its wicked wit, its mean-spirited jab at the SJW crowd, and because it's been forever since we've seen a decent new cannibal movie. It's not a perfect effort, and there will no doubt be as many people who hate it as love it, but Eli Roth returned to form with this one, and we hope that he keeps it going with next year's Meg, and the Cabin Fever remake.

For now though, it you like cannibal movies with a liberal sense of black humor, then go see The Green Inferno. Or maybe wait for it to hit VOD or Blu-ray. Either way.

B+

The Green Inferno is in Limited Theaters now.

Kirby Bliss Blanton went out like a champ in this movie, and she looked great while doing so. Lorena Izzo was no slouch either.