Quick Review: White God (2015)

The first thing you need to know about White God is that for animal lovers, it might be a bit of a tough watch. Humans are pretty horrible to dogs in this movie, and there were a few times that we looked away from the screen, even though a lot of the film's violence was more implied than actually shown. None of it is real, obviously, and to be honest, there were times when various dogs were "acting" like they had been hurt or shot, and you could tell that they were just rolling over and playing dead.

It didn't look shoddy at all, but you could just tell.

The point is, as horrific as the subject matter of this movie is, it wasn't so graphic that the average person who loves animals wont be able to watch it. It's tough, but it's manageable. Even more important, the movie's overall payoff is well-worth enduring those tougher moments for.

White God is the story of Lili; a thirteen-year-old girl who seems to hate life, but really loves her dog, Hagen. When her asshole Father dumps the poor pooch on the street, rather than pay a State Fee too keep him, she is heartbroken. Defying her Father's wishes, Lili begins to search for Hagen, because she loves him, and fuck everybody else and their dog-hating asses!

"FUCK YOU, DAD."

White God is also the story of Hagen; a good boy who just wants to be loved, fed, and played with. When he's separated from Lili, he frantically searches for her to no avail. Alone and discarded, he meets a variety of  people out in the streets, every one of whom is a horrible piece of shit who either abuses him, forces him to fight other dogs, or trains him to be mean. Eventually becoming fed up with all of that shit, Hagen partners up with the other ill-treated dogs of the city, and they decide to rise up and give the humans a taste of their own medicine.

NO, HE ISN'T SMILING.

Will Lili and Hagen ever be reunited? If so, will Hagen rip Lili's face off? Is Lily going to have to beat Hagen to death with her trumpet to keep that from happening? Far be it from us to spoil anything for you here, but suffice it to say that a trumpet is involved, and yes, Lili does use it to make Hagen her bitch. Not literally, because he's a boy dog, but you get the point.

THE FINAL FIGHT.

White God is a striking film that is a poignant as it is disturbing. We know that there are people out there who treat animals like... well, animals, in the worst sense of the word, and this movie happily calls them to task. It also tells us "Hey asshole, they may only be dogs, but they deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion too!" It's not a preachy movie, at least not overbearingly, but it goes to great lengths to make an important point, and it does so effectively.

HOW COULD ANYONE EVER WANT TO HURT THAT FACE?

The strength of this movie comes between the relationship between a little girl and her dog. Their story was as heartbreaking as it was warm, and we got caught up in each of their emotional struggles far more than we thought we would; we actually found ourselves verbally rooting for Lili as the film wore on, and giving Hagen various commands like "No!" or "Run, Hagen!" or "Rip the fuckers throat out, Hagen!" Yes, this movie pulled our strings.

Zsofia Psotta did a great job as Lili, especially for this being her first role ever. And I'm just going to go ahead and say it: the dogs in this movie did a great job "acting" out their roles. Alright, maybe it mostly had to do with the training that they received, and with a trainer giving them commands off-camera, but I don't care. They were all good boys and girls!

LIFE AIN'T EASY IN BUDAPEST.

White God is a gorgeous movie that sheds light on an ugly subject, and it depresses as much as it entertains or shocks. I don't want that to put you off seeing this little gem, but it's a heavy movie like that, so it needs to be said. Then again, most of the movies that we review here are hardly happy-go-lucky, so...

If you like the idea of being able to watch dogs literally have their day, then give this one a rent and enjoy. Maybe tuck a box of Kleenex behind the couch if you're the overly-emotional type though. You may need it.

B+

White God is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

Since this movie doesn't offer much in the way of Hotties, let's take a quick look at the adorable Luke who made Hagen a Movie Dog for the ages. *That could actually be Bodie in the pictures below, as it was Twin Labs who played Hagen. Either way, that's a beautiful dog.

VOD Review: Extinction (2015)

I hesitate to call Extinction a zombie flick, because it really isn't. A lot of reviewers out there are calling this movie a Zombie Survival movie, but at best, it probably belongs to the Infected sub-genre.

There's just nothing really zombie-like about the creatures in this movie. If anything, they resemble the vampires from 30 Days of Night more than they do any zombie that you'd find in the typical undead offering. 

We're going to go out on a crazy limb here, and just call this one a Post-Apocalyptic movie that involves creatures.

Bold of us, I know.

Nine years after Zombie Apocalypse left most of humanity dead or trying to survive, Jack and his sweet daughter Lu have made themselves a nice life in the snowy town of Harmony; they stay inside, they don't interact with anyone, their food supply could be better... alright, so maybe it's not a nice life, but it's life, and that in and of itself is nice.

"TODAY, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STAY UNDER THE BED. ALRIGHT, HONEY?"

Jack and Lu have a creepy neighbor named Patrick, who we know used to be friends with Jack, but has since been shunned by he and his daughter. Why won't Jack talk to him, or let Lu get to know him? Well that's they mystery, isn't it? At least Patrick has a faithful dog (named Dog) to keep him company in the cold Post-Apocalyptic world.

HE LOOKS HALF A BUBBLE OFF PLUMB IF YOU ASK ME.

It's been a while since either of them has seen the creatures that destroyed their lives (and the world), and so they think them dead and gone, probably because it's so cold and snowy out there, and nothing could survive being exposed in such a climate for too long... but they're wrong! The creatures are back, and despite the bad blood between them, Jack and Patrick have to work together if they have any hope of surviving their return.

Dysfunctional family dynamics & survival ensue.

DON'T... MAKE... A... SOUND.

Extinction is a pretty solid flick that would have benefited from a little less melodrama, and a whole lot more Horror. The creatures in this movie looked amazing, and the fact that they were blind and hunted by sound made the scenes that they were in all the more terrifying, but we just didn't get to see enough of them.

We're big fans of Jeffrey Donovan and Matthew Fox, and over they years they have proven that they can do both drama and action equally well, but too much of the movie was spent with them either avoiding each other, fighting with each other, or just being uncomfortable with each other's presence. Now, all of that had purpose, and it served the story by existing, but it simply went on for far too long. The movie spends too much time on flashbacks, and unraveling a mystery (which was no mystery at all), throughout. We got the gist of the how, why, and what with the lengthy opening sequence, and the plot would have been far better served by focusing less on the backstory, and more on the present day situations of the characters.

SEE, NOW THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF BACKSTORY.

Worse still, Jeffrey Donovan's character seemed to go from HATING Matthew Fox's character from the depths of his soul (he basically stood by and let him nearly get killed), to having him over for a nice, neighborly dinner. Literally. The transition between hatred and acceptance just felt clunky and unnatural, not to mention a bit rushed.

All of that being said, the rest of the movie was pretty solid. The cold, isolated, snowy setting was perfect for a Post-Apocalyptic story of survival, and it made the already intense plot feel even more so. This one was atmospheric as hell. It may have taken a while for it to get going, but once it did, the movie was a pretty creepy, and boasted some great action scenes. Again, the fact that the creatures were blind and could only hunt by sound added a fun dynamic to the proceedings. We also really liked how the creatures evolved over time. That was kind of a fun twist too.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GOING DOLL SHOPPING IN MONSTER TOWN, USA.

Jeffrey Donovan and Matthew Fox make for a pretty good on-screen duo, and they should probably star in a Buddy Cop movie together, or something. Also, it's pronounced Mah-Shing-Gah, not May-Zing-Er! Dammit!

DON'T SCREAM.

The balance between angsty melodrama and Horror-based action might be a bit off in this one, but Extinction is still an above-average effort that we really enjoyed. A lot, even. The creatures in this one looked so cool that we'd probably even watch it again... although there would be a few parts that we might be tempted to fast forward through.

If you're a fan of Post-Apocalyptic movies that involve a multitude of hungry, savage creatures trying to eat everyone they come across, or if you're a fan of any of the actors involved, then you should definitely give Extinction a rent. It really was a solid effort for the most part.

C+

Extinction is available now on VOD.

The sexy Clara Lago is in this, as is Valeria Vereau (albeit is a much smaller role.)

Quick Review: The Rite (2011)

The Rite was one of those movies that we wanted to love, because Anthony Hopkins is just one of those guys who inspires us to love, but in the end, we just couldn't truly love this movie. Not completely, anyhow.

This is one of those "crisis of faith" movies, intermingled with the backdrop of exorcism. Good exorcism movies are hard to come by; sure, there's a good or decent one now and then, but none have really ever come close to doing what The Exorcist did.

It's always a treat to watch Sir Anthony do his thing though, isn't it? Even when he's starring in a movie that doesn't quite hit that high level of "good," he's always interesting to watch. It's no different here, as he plays a controversial exorcist that performs very controversial exorcisms.

Controversy!

We liked a lot of this movie, but it was the last reel that really threw us off. We won't spoil anything for those of you still waiting to catch this one on DVD, but it just lacked the impact that it should have had, especially with Hopkins in the driver's seat, so to speak.

It did have its moments though...

...and it had Sir Anthony, which is never a bad thing.

As exorcism movies goes, this one was pretty good, although once again, it kind of lost the grip it had on us by the time it started winding up. Still, flaws or not, it's always good fun to watch Sir Anthony do his thing, especially when his thing is being creepy. He's getting older, you know, so we are happy savoring what he gives us, while we can. That sounded really morbid... Anywho, The Rite makes for a decent rental, or and even better "wait until it comes on cable" type of experience.

C+

Those ladies look like they need a Sexorcism. Zing!