New on Blu-ray Today: The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

*We watched this movie way back in 2009, and found it to be a decent Found Footage flick. In the years since, we've seen it a few more times, and it's grown to be one of our favorites of the genre.

Thanks to Scream Factory, it's FINALLY hit Blu-ray and can be seen by Horror fans everywhere, and let me tell you that if you like gritty, realistic Horror flicks that make you feel dirty for watching them, then this is one not to miss. 

Check out our original review below, updated for the passage of time.






Sub-Genre- Serial Killer, Found Footage.
Cast Members of Note- Bobbi Sue Luther, and Stacy Chbosky.
Directed by- John Erick Dowdle, who would go on to helm films like Devil, Quarantine, and As Above, So Below.

A bunch of inept Cops and "experts" participate in a Documentary about the worst Serial Killer the world has ever known... Ed! At least they think that's his name, though they're so inept that they don't have so much as one clue about him, even after he leaves them hundreds of videotapes of his crimes. Could they not run the make of his car? Was there seriously not one print or molecule of DNA in his house, or at any of the crime scenes?

1-800-GOOD-LUCK-FINDING-HER.

Inept Police Work aside, Ed sure knows how to have fun; making whores pop balloons while dressed in bikinis, raping random kids and women, terrifying innocent Girl Scouts, taking advantage of the kindness of strangers... and he tapes it all for posterity's sake. And for the sake of love, apparently, which is something he desperately wants to find.

Hey Ed, this is not was love is.

Interviews, footage, interviews, footage, interviews, footage... I won't spoil the ending for you here, because it's so shocking, but let's just say that they never catch him. *It's Found Footage, no one ever gets caught.

...but plenty of people die!

Before even having seen this one, I loved the premise; Police find hundreds of video tapes belonging to a prolific local Serial Killer, each of them documenting his crimes in graphic detail. Now having actually seen it, this movie contains some absolutely disturbing scenarios and imagery, courtesy of said tapes, and if you can lose yourself in the Found Footage aspect of things, then you're in for a chilling ride.

Chloroform: The Stranger Picker Upper.

The acting in this was 50/50; some of it was decent and believable, and felt Documentary-like, but most of the rest of it was poor to bad, and even seemed ad-libbed at times. Then again, the script was pretty poor in places too; a good example of this is when a frantic mother calls 911 to say she thinks someone took her 8-year-old daughter, the 911 operator responds with "Like who?" in an uncaring, dismissive voice. Sub-par acting along with a script that needed to be a bit tighter, keeps this one from being the true Modern-day Classic that it could have been.

Overall though, this was a disturbing and creepy movie, that most people will find completely effective.

This looks like our porn collection.

Did the filmmakers think that obscuring the look of the killer's videos made them look more real? The footage was at times so horribly distorted, that we wondered if Ed had magnets in his pockets or something. I've never seen a worse camcorder in my life.

Is he adjusting the tracking?

Do you have to mess with the kids, Mr. Creepy Rape-Kill guy? I mean, all the Girl Scouts want to do is to sell their cookies, and make enough money for their Troop to go to camp "I'll be a whore someday," not be tortured and killed in terrible ways by you. You sir, are disturbing.

"Thin Mints please! Also, 2 boxes of Tagalongs. Also, I'm going to make you pass away with a knife."

There's not much gore in this one, but we do get a little bit of blood here and there. This movie is really more about disturbing visuals, rather than graphic violence, which is fine with us.

Like that right there? We get the point.

Dead hooker boobs.

"Pop it!" or "To be honest, I don't think either of us are gonna want you alive for the things I'm going to do to you."

Avoid nice guys with video cameras. Also, BDSM is scary.

Why did they not market and sell these masks? We'd buy one.

I have a feeling people will either love The Poughkeepsie Tapes, or downright hate it. Some things in this movie really, really worked well, while others fell a bit flat. I say see it; like The Blair Witch Project, it's an interesting Found Footage effort at the very least, and an awesomely disturbing movie at the most. That all depends on if the premise sucks you in or not though.

B+

The Poughkeepsie Tapes is finally available on Blu-ray now.

Bobby Sue Luther is in this.

Blu-ray Review: Bubba Ho-Tep (2003)

(aka Hail To The Kings.)
Release Date: October 10th, 2003.
Country: USA
Rating: R
Written by: Joe R. Lansdale and Don Coscarelli.
Directed by: Don Coscarelli.
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ossie Davis, Ella Joyce, and Heidi Marnhout.

"I felt my pecker flutter once, like a pigeon havin' a heart attack."

From the moment that Bruce Campbell said those words, we knew that we were in for something special with Bubba Ho-Tep.

We originally went to see this movie when it was in theaters (yes, way back in 2003), because Bruce Campbell was in it, which was enough for us, but we weren't prepared for how good this movie was going to be. All these years later, it still ranks as one of our all-time faves.

If you've seen it, you know what we're talking about. If you haven't, then read on, and make a plan to rectify that woeful wrong asap.

*This review was originally posted in 2015, but we've brought it back to the top to coincide with the new Bubba Ho-Tep Blu-ray release, because it's a really special flick that deserves the love. 

We hesitate to break down the plot for this movie, because the more that you know about it, the dumber it sounds, and the less likely it is that you'll give it the chance that it deserves. So read our brief synopsis if you like, or better yet, don't read it at all and just go find a copy of the movie and watch it.

Bubba Ho-Tep is the story of an aging Elvis Presley who is spending his decrepit last days in the Shady Rest nursing home, with nothing but a pus-filled growth on his penis to his name. He has one friend named Jack, who it turns out is actually JFK; after his assassination attempt, Lyndon Johnson had him dyed black, had a bag of sand implanted in his head, and then dumped him off at the nursing home.

JUST GO WITH IT.

When a 4000-year-old mummy (aptly nicknamed Bubba Ho-Tep) starts killing off the elderly residents of the Shady Rest by sucking their souls out of their assholes, Elvis and JFK set out to stop the soul-sucking bastard, because fuck him.

I know, that all sounds pretty insane. Because it is.

BUT IT IS ALSO GLORIOUS.

The real heart of this movie lies in its exploration of what it means to grow old, and more importantly, to be forgotten. Elvis, for his part, feels useless and is full of little more than regret. He wishes he could see his daughter one more time and try to make things right, but he knows that won't ever happen. He's essentially laying in bed with a growth on his dick, waiting to die. This is a story that is all too common with the elderly, as life just has a way of passing them (and eventually us) by.

The way that Don Coscarelli (and Joe R. Lansdale, in his short story), addressed this issue amidst the movie's crazier elements, made it into one of the most different and compelling experiences that we've ever had in a theater. Two old men who are at the end of their lives, standing up and fighting a monster for the very souls of their friends was a beautiful thing to watch.

Bruce Campbell said it best when he called Bubba Ho-Tep a "Redemptive Elvis-Mummy Picture, in that order." Because that's exactly what it is.

"THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

We don't really need to tell you how awesome Bruce is, because you already know that. Instead, can we say how great Ossie Davis was in this movie? A WWII Veteran, he starred in over 100 projects during his career which spanned six decades; he was a social rights activist back when it was a dangerous thing to be; and he delivered the eulogy at Malcom X's funeral... and that's just some of what made him so great as both a talent, and a man.

Ossie Davis died in 2005, making Bubba-Ho-Tep one of the last things he ever starred in. It would be disingenuous of us to say that it was his best work, or his most poignant, but it was honest and heartfelt, much like he was throughout his life. He was a true classic if there ever was one.

REST IN PEACE, GOOD SIR.

That damn song, All Is Well... it made us feel feelings that we weren't ready to feel!

NO, IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT!

The people who see this movie and say "It was stupid" or "Nothing happened" make us feel sad for humanity.

Keep swimming in the shallow end, kids.

THEY CAN SUCK THE DOG DICK OF ANUBIS!

This movie is not much on the gore, although a few scarabs get squashed, and there are some deaths.

No, but there was a nice ass shot, and some therapeutic pecker rubbing.

THAT ASS DESERVED A SEQUEL OF ITS OWN.

Bruce Campbell is the man, and Ossie Davis was true classic, in every sense of the word.

HAIL TO THE KINGS, BABY.

If the words Underrated Gem ever applied to any Genre movie, it's surely Bubba Ho-Tep. As crazy as the plot sounds (and is), and as funny as the movie can be, this is really a sentimental drama about the pains of growing old, and learning to find purpose again. Plus, it has a mummy who sucks people's souls out through their assholes, so, there's that.

Yeah, Bubba Ho-Tep is an odd one for sure, but it's a fantastic one as well, and if you've never seen it, you really need to.

A

Bubba Ho-Tep is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

It's not easy finding pictures of Heidi Marnhout online, so this is all you get!

Review Archive: 2000-2007

Every other decade and year has its own individual Review Archive (organized for your browsing pleasure), but somehow we never got around to gathering the reviews from the early 00's together. Until now, these reviews were basically orphaned. Shame on us.

There are only about 60 of them, and since we tend to focus more on more current reviews, there are still plenty of great movies of the 00's missing from this list, but this is at least a good start for now.

Enjoy!