Imagine a soft-core Cinemax style porn (minus pretty much all of the porn) that existed only to parade a bunch of young, hot girls in schoolgirl outfits around on screen for 90 minutes. Then add some supernatural shit to it. That's pretty much 5ive Girls in a nutshell.
It's really one of those harmless, middle-of-the-road Horror flicks that is geared towards the younger crowd. It delivers on some of the goods that Horror fans come to expect, but it never really pushes too hard on the walls of good taste, which is a shame. This could have been one hell of an exploitation flick.
|The classic "ass healing" scene is a perfect example. How many movies do you recall where hot teen girls give each other healing ass rubs?|
|There's contraband in her butt, and the sexy warden Will find it!|
The Craft or any other "safe" Tween Horror movie like that, you may like this one too.
Wham!, 5ive Girls is a Guilty Pleasure that brings us equal amounts of enjoyment and shame. Sure, you can laugh at George Michael's hair, or the fact that he just can't resist blowing random guys in filthy rest stop bathrooms, but I dare you to listen to Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go) and not sing along. You can't. It isn't humanly possible.
On the same token, you can't really watch 5ive Girls without digging it on some perverse, shameful level. Sure, much like the music of Wham!, it mostly sucks, but while sucking, it manages to make you tingle in your pants and want to break out in a spontaneous dance routine... Ok, whatever. We're just ashamed that we kinda like them both.
P.S. I'd also like to say that despite marrying the hot chick from Bananarama, there's no way that Andrew Ridgely (the other Wham!) didn't fight George Michael's penis with his mouth at some point during their career. I guess what I'm saying is that they had their own "Bananarama" going on. Just watch the videos man... the proof is in the pudding. The man pudding.
Ron Perlman and his naughty bitches, because how is that a bad thing?