VOD Review: Better Watch Out (2017)

"It's never too early to get in the Christmas spirit."

(aka Safe Neighborhood.)
Release Date: October 6th.
Country: Australia.
Rating: R.
Written by: Zack Kahn.
Directed by: Chris Peckover.
Starring: Olivia DeJonge, Virginia Madsen, Patrick Warburton, Levi Miller, and Ed Oxenbold.

Do yourself a favor: if you haven't already checked out the trailer for Better Watch Out, skip it, and just watch the movie.

I know that no one really watches movie these days without seeing a trailer first, but in this case, the trailer gives away too much of the movie's Holiday cheer, which is a real shame.

It's the Holiday Season, and Ashley has a babysitting gig. Luke, the kid she's babysitting, is in love with her, and he's planning on confessing his love while his parents attend a Christmas party. After his awkward attempt to seduce her with the winning combo of Horror movies and wine, a brick flies through the window with the message "You leave, you die" written on it, and any plans of romance go out the window as Ashely and Luke have to face a masked home invader with bad intentions.

I know that's pretty vague, but the less you know going into this one the better.

Home Alone-style savagery ensues.

WELL, THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY HOME ALONE...

Better Watch Out looks great, boasts a smart script and equally smart direction, offers plenty of darkly humorous moments to balance the demented parts, and overall, it's a lot of fun. This is a Black Comedy that feels a lot like Funny Games, and yes, I suppose there's a bit of Home Alone-ish action to draw a comparison, although that really paints the wrong picture.

Sure, this movie has a Christmasy feel about it, but it's a twisted commentary on the ils of suburban life. And how boys are evil and treat girls wrong. And how babysitting is for suckers.

Levi Miller showed some chops as Luke, which truly took some range, and Ed Oxenbould made for a competent enough best friend type, but this is Olivia DeJonge's movie, make no mistake. She was good in The Visit, and we loved her supporting role in Scare Campaign (review HERE), but she ascended to the next level in this one, carrying the movie with her performance. She plays terrified and tough equally well, and she's got great screen presence.

THAT'S GOTTA BE COLD.

Luke was a bit over-the-top with some of his mannerisms. I know they were trying to illustrate how unhinged he was, but it came off like he was some kind of goofy edgelord. That was by design, but it irked us at times.

WILL THEY SAVE THE GIRL?

I really loved the ending to this one... which is why I didn't really dig the mid-credits scene. It ended perfectly, so why ruin it with some obligatory "See you in the sequel!" crap like that?

THIS GIRL DON'T PLAY.

A paint bucket, some rope, a shard of glass, and bullets give this one just the right amount of bloody goodness.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE HEAD WOUND.

Plenty of sexual themes and discussions throughout, but nothing gets visceral. 

NICE TRY KID, BUT SHE'S NOT SHARING HER PIZZA WITH YOU.

Better Watch Out was a really good movie that balances dark humor with twisted violence. It's also one that's going to put a lot of people off with its subject matter, and the dynamic shift that happens about halfway in might throw some people off, but overall it's a great movie to watch this October... and probably again in December.

B+

Better Watch Out is available on VOD now.

Olivia DeJonge is quick becoming a Scream Queen to reckon with.

Picturebook Review: Land of Smiles (2017)

"Well, at least it looks pretty."

Originally titled Thai-Sanity (what were they even thinking with that one?), Land of Smiles is a movie that begins with a lot of promise, but never really delivers much other than a bunch of attractive tourists drinking beer and fretting over mysterious emails and videos.

Now, that may seem like a short-sighted view of the movie, which is impressively shot and offers up some really pretty visuals, but it just never really got going Lek it should have. Given the plot, we were expecting some Hostel-like bloodletting, but instead got more of a slow burn mystery that even when solved, left us scratching our heads.

Let's take a look through the Picture Book for Land of Smiles, and see if the movie's visuals can't paint a picture of what the movie has to offer.

Land of Smiles is the story of the gorgeous Alexandra, whose gorgeous best friend, Penny, has gone missing in the gorgeous country of Thailand, aka the Land of Smiles. It seems as if some clown (literally) has abducted Penny, and he's going to kill her if Alexandra doesn't go out and drink herself into a coma. He's instructed her via video emails to go out and have fun and loosen up a bit, so Alexandra, along with some random strangers who join her party posse, hit the town and drink, dance, and have fun!

Because that's what vacation is all about.

SHE WANTS TO TAKE HER TO THE LAND OF VERTICAL SMILES.

GET A ROOM ALREADY.

BUT HE'S ALREADY HAVING A CUPCAKE...

DRINK UP, AMERICAN TOURIST IN A DANGEROUS FOREIGN CITY!

MAYBE EVEN MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS AND DRINK WITH THEM!

SKIN BREAK.

AND NOW THE TERROR BEGINS!

"OH NO, PENNY! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?"

"WAIT, THIS LOOKS LIKE A MAP TO THE PLACE WHERE..."

"...WE CAN DRINK SOME MORE!"

SHE HAS PREFECT TANK TOP WEARING SKILLS.

AMID CRISIS, THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR A DRINK.

SWEET JESUS, THEY'RE EVEN DRINKING IN A PICTURE FLASHBACK!

MEANWHILE. DRUNKO THE CLOWN'S NEFARIOUS PLAN CONTINUES TO UNRAVEL.

"ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO JUST LET THAT BEER SIT THERE?"

AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DRINK 437 BEERS IN THREE DAYS!

THAT'S ABOUT WHERE WE'RE AT.

DON'T WORRY THOUGH, THIS GUY IS GOING TO SAVE THE DAY... BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS ABOUT TO DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING.

Land of Smiles is a gorgeous movie to behold, both in its locale and the way it's presented visually, but man is it frustrating in just about every other way. The plot, and especially its resolution, are not only silly, but we don't even get an overabundance of gory kill scenes to make it all worthwhile.

Not horrible, just not very good.

D+

Land of Smiles is available now on import DVD.

These ladies make us smile for sure.

VOD Review: The Hounds of Love (2017)

"A perfect movie for date night."

Australia has a knack for producing disturbing Horror movies. Wolf Creek, The Loved Ones and Acolytes (to name a few) are all great examples of that gritty, nasty, unsettling down under filmmaking that have stuck with us years after having seen them.

Hounds of Love can comfortably join that group of films as a movie that tackles a horrific subject in such a real and gritty way, that even though it's light on the more visceral aspect of Horror Cinema, it strikes all the right unsettling chords in telling its twisted story.

Knowing that it's based on a true story, loosely or not, made it feel extra nasty.

In 1980's era Perth, Australia, John and Evelyn watch a group of young schoolgirls playing netball in slow-motion, after which they give one of the girls a lift, and she's never seen again. They're a serial-killing couple who enjoys stalking young girls, and taking them home to "play with", and eventually kill.

CREEPERS, 80's STYLE.

Vicki is a young girl who is dealing with separated parents who plan on divorcing, as well as the everyday stresses of teenage life. When she sneaks out of her window to go to a party, she runs across John and Evelyn, who offer her some weed. Back at their house. Since she really likes weed, she agrees to go back to their house and score before meeting her boyfriend at the party... which she's never going to show up for.

THIS IS WHY YOU JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Chained to a bed in a dingy room, Vicki is subjected to sexual assault and all means of degrading things at the hands of John, while Evelyn enables his depravity, and washes off the bloody dildos. While Vicki does her best to survive her ordeal and find a way out, her loved ones are madly searching for her, which seems hopeless.

True horror ensues. 

WHY IS SHE LAYING ON THE WALL?

Like most movies that involve sadistic people doing horrific things to young girls, Hounds of Love is genuinely disturbing to behold. Based on the story of real-life story of David and Catherine Birnie (read about it HERE), everything here feels real, in a very dirty, uncomfortable sort of way.

Unlike most of those kinds of movies however, Hounds of Love takes a more restrained approach. Ben Young could have easily gone the exploitative route with this one, but he instead opts for the less-is-more method when it comes to visualizing the film's nastier elements, which honestly made it play far more grimy and sinister.

While Stephen Curry plays creepy extremely well here, it's Emma Booth who turns in turns in the truly brilliant performance here as the browbeaten wife of a sadistic monster who helps him torture and rape young girls, but who also struggles with the knowledge that what they're doing is wrong. To watch her play both sides of that fence at the same time was something special. Ashleigh Cummings was no less fantastic in a difficult role which saw her victimized in horrific ways, while never losing her will to live and be free.

"WHO'S A HANDSOME BLOKE?"

Torture, bloody sheets, and violence abound, but not much in the way of gory set pieces.

DON'T WANT ANY WEED NOW, DO YOU?

Emma Booth gets naked, and there's plenty of rape and sexual degeneracy, but most of it is portrayed in a non-exploitative way off-screen. And we're more than fine with that.

NOT SEXY AT ALL.

For true Horror lovers, Hounds of Love is a Must See. It's a tough watch, and one that a great many people will not be able to make it through, but in a genre that tends to aim for the lowest common denominator with many of its offerings, it's a hypnotic, horrific, multi-layered piece of art.

And it's also the stuff of nightmares. Real ones.

A

Hounds of Love is available on VOD now.

Emma Booth and Ashleigh Cummings: the gorgeous stars of this ugly little movie.