October 18, 2009

DVD Review: Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead (2009)

A quick review for a mostly fun movie...

In Attendance- Me and Machine.
Cast Members of Note- Tom Frederic, Janet Montgomery, Tamer Hassan, and the awesome boobs of Louise Cliffe.

When a couple of guys take some sluts rafting, all they really want is to become one with nature, brave the elements, and survive in the inbred back country of West Virginia. So naturally, they come ashore to camp, get naked, smoke some weed, have sex, insult the locals, and then all die painfully. Our favorite inbred mongoloid mountain men are back! 

Don't you know that bad girls always die painfully?
Then there's something about a bunch of prisoners and a bus, and how some of them are crimeys and how others want to shank or rape each other. Some of them like the "prison chili" and "assy vagina," while all of them seem to love getting three hots and a cot. I would never survive in prison, mainly because I'm a bleeder. 

I bleed just like that.
Anywho, the prisoners are all secretly taken through the back roads of WV to be transferred to another prison, and all hell breaks loose. It's Criminal vs. Guard, Guard vs. Mutant Hillbilly, and the Audience vs. Bad CGI... any way you slice it, people die messy, and the stereotypes about inbred rednecks are once again strengthened. 

This guy is the official mascot of West Virginia.
If you've seen the other Wrong Turn movies, you know exactly what you're getting here; some hot, naked chicks; plenty of disposable characters; a thin plot; and a ton of messy, creative kills. What more can you ask for from a modern day equivalent of a slasher flick? That's it. This sequel cast no new molds, nor did it bring anything new to the genre. It's just an average, entertaining Horror flick that should satisfy most who see it.

He's purty.
Some of the CGI work in this movie was shoddy at best, though for a cheap Direct-to-DVD B-movie, I guess it's par for the course. Still, some of the kill scenes would have been far better served using latex and dummies, Karo Syrup, and squibs... CGI is just cheating in my opinion. Crappy CGI is even worse.

So realistic.
Why do the inbred mountain men never keep the hot naked chicks and use them as sex slaves? Even mongoloids have to get horny sometimes, don't they? Oh wait, he's trying to rape her... never mind. Also, that poor chick (Janet Montgomery) gets raped in every movie I see her in.

This is almost exactly like her scene in The Hills Run Red.
This is a movie designed for awesome kills, and it totally delivers; arrows through boobs, arrows through eyes, eye eating, poles jammed through heads, bodies rent asunder... this one is REALLY nasty. Some of the CGI gore is cheesy though, so be forewarned.

That boy got himself a West Virginia Necktie.
Within the first 5 minutes we have a pair of rather glorious boobs, but nothing more after that.  

Nice, now kiss.
 "I told you, never trust a con." or "...do you think I'm a slut?"

You will die if you go traipsing around West Virginia. Also, CGI blood sucks. 

I said no traipsing!
An absolutely average Direct-to-DVD Horror flick, Wrong Turn 3 is made fun by the variety of creative and messy kills on display. If you know the Wrong Turn movies, then you already know if you want to see this or not. I can't see me ever watching it again, but watching it once wasn't so bad.


Wrong Turn 3 is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.


Thanks for being so hot, ladies.


  1. I watched the previous two titles in this series and thought they were good, dumb, fun. Its great to see that the series has upheld its most important tradition in the latest installment as well: namely really stunning women :P

  2. I know it sounds silly, but I had to skip over the review quickly to avoid spoilers. I loved Wrong Turn 2 because I went into it with zero expectations and I'm kind of hoping for the same thing with this one. Judging from the limited stuff I read, I may or may not be pleased.