VOD Review: In a Valley of Violence (2016)

"Not a Horror Movie."

Sure, In a Valley of Violence is directed by Ti West, -who has given us some Horror gems like The Innkeepers, House of the Devil, and The Sacrament- and it's bloody and violent enough in places, but this is a pure Western, through and through.

That's alright though, because Westerns are awesome (especially violent ones), and Ti West deserves to be able to branch out into other Genres if he wants to... especially if what comes of said branching out ends up being as enjoyable as In a Valley of Violence was.

In A Valley of Violence opens like many Westerns do, with a mysterious drifter and his faithful dog riding across the plains. In this case, Paul (the drifter) and Abbie (his dog) are hightailing it to Mexico, for a good reason which we wont spoil here. He should have been named Dusty though. Or maybe Sidewinder or something. Paul just doesn't seem very menacing.

THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

Their journey takes a fateful turn when Paul decides to stop off in the ramshackle frontier town of Denton, to re-supply and get him a whiskey. All drifters like whiskey. While trying his best to drink alone and brood, Paul ends up pissing off local deputy Gilly, who is a hot-head, and just so happens to be looking for a fight. After embarrassing Gilly, Paul is ushered out of town by John Travolta, who is both the town's Marshall and Gilly's father. Gilly and his men follow Paul, and do the unthinkable... which sets Paul on a course of bloody revenge.

THIS SON OF A BITCH RIGHT HERE...

Along the way, Paul also makes friends with a teenage innkeeper named Mary-Anne, whose sister just so happens to be Gilly's girlfriend, but since Mary-Anne hates Gilly, she agrees to help Paul get his revenge, but Paul won't let her because he doesn't want to taint her, but she insists and... oh never mind.

Just sit back and enjoy the madness.

WHAT A CUTE COUPLE.

In a Valley of Violence was a gritty western with a humorous bent that entertained the hell out of us. Its biggest asset is that as serious as it gets, it doesn't take itself too seriously... which oddly enough was the one issue that we had with the movie too. I like serious, gritty westerns, and the humorous tone of this one threw me at first, but grew on me after a while.

It's definitely a unique bird, as far as Westerns go. 

Ethan Hawke played the part of the drifter perfectly, and it was nice to see John Travolta getting a good role to chew on for a change, but it was Taissa Farmiga who absolutely stole the show in his one. There was something about Mini-Farmiga's character, and the way that she played her, that just made the movie electric whenever she was onscreen. She's a special talent, and she truly shines in this one.

The always cool James Ransone made for one hell of a perfect villain as well.

STONE COLD.

I kinda wish that the tone of the movie had been a bit more serious overall. It's all over the place at times, jumping back and forth between brutal and humorous, which threw me off a bit. 

EXPECTED HIM TO BE A BIT MEANER TOO. 

Why always the damn dog? WHY?!?

AT LEAST HE GOT TO ENJOY HIMSELF A BATH AND A WHORE BEFORE HE SCAMPERED OFF ACROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE.

Lots of good old fashioned violence in this one, hence the title.

IN A VALLEY OF IDIOT SONS.

Unless you count Larry Fessenden in a bathtub, there's no nudity in this one. 

WILL MINI-FARMIGA EVER GET NAKED ON FILM? THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW.

A really solid, if oddly different, Western, In a Valley of Violence was fun from start to finish. The actors all swung for the fences in this one, and depending on your tolerance for overacting, you'll either love it or hate it.

Rent it, when you need a break from the normal.

B

In a Valley of Violence is available now on VOD, with a Blu-ray & DVD release on 12/27.

Mini-Farmiga and Karen Gillan make the old west look good.

VOD Review: Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Kurt Russell is a legend.

From being a child star in Disney films, to being John Carpenter's go-to actor, he starred in more movies that are both great, and that we love enough to watch over and over again, than any other actor that we can think of: Escape from New York, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Tombstone, Soldier, Dark Blue, Miracle... and those are just the ones that we pull off of the shelf and watch the most often.

So as much as we love the guy, when we heard that he was to star in a Horror Western -in which he would be tracking down a bunch of troglodyte cannibals- we were all in.

When an idjit criminal defiles the sacred ground of a tribe of savage cannibals, he hightails it out of there and heads for the small frontier town of Bright Home, which, as it turns out, is quite poorly named. The cannibals give chase, because they want to kill and eat the interloper, and when they catch up to him, they take him, along with a few of the town's residents, back to their cave to be dinner.

THAT'S THE IDJIT IN THE BACK.

When Sheriff Franklin Hunt gets wind of this, he and three other men set out to confront the savages, and rescue their people. Included in the posse are a cold-blooded gunfighter; a guy with a broken leg; and a "not quite right in the head" Back-up Deputy. They're underdogs, folks.

GUESS WHICH IS WHICH.

As they track the cannibals across the harsh and forgiving countryside, they are attacked by banditos; have their horses stolen; and the gimp breaks his leg even worse than it was to start. With all of these issues, I'm not really sure how in the hell this mission is ever is going to work, but the Sheriff and the gunfighter are probably going to have to do most of the heavy lifting.

Dang-nabbed savagery and cannibalism ensues.

YOU DARE LAY YOUR SAVAGE HANDS ON KURT RUSSELL?!?

There aren't a lot of Horror Westerns out there (at least not good ones), and of the ones that come to mind, The Burrowers, Ravenous, and Dead Birds are probably the best of them. A small production with a relatively meager budget, Bone Tomahawk can comfortably slide onto that "Best of" list with relative ease. Above all else, it's a great Western, but when the Horror elements finally do stand up and take over, things get pretty nasty, pretty quick.

Kurt Russell is a bad-ass in this one. Not a Wyatt-Earp-in-Tombstone level of bad-ass, but his Sheriff Hunt still provided plenty of moments of Old West bravado. The incomparable Richard Jenkins was endearing as hell as "Back-up" Deputy Chicory; the banter between he and the Sheriff made the movie in a lot of ways, and was equal parts funny and sweet. They were a hell of a duo.

"YOU GONNA SKIN THAT SMOKE-WAGON, OR JUST STAND THERE AND BLEED?"

We also have to give a tip of our hats to Matthew Fox, who played the cold-hearted gunslinger, Brooder. There wasn't alot to like about him as a person, but damn he was cool, and just as bad-ass as Kurt Russell's Sheriff was.

There were also plenty of cameos in this one too from the likes of Sid Haig (Devil's Rejects), Michael Pare (Streets of Fire), Sean Young (Bladerunner), and Jamison Newlander (Lost Boys.) Great cast overall.

BAD GUYS WEAR BLACK?

As enjoyable as this one is, it's not without some flaws. First off, it could have been a bit shorter. It plays just fine at its current 140+ minute runtime, but in all honesty, they could have trimmed a good 15-20 minutes off of the beginning of the movie, and it would have probably been better off for it. A residual effect of that long runtime, is that there are stretches of the movie that tend to drag a bit. For some, that might be a mood-killer.

We also really wanted Zahn McClarnon to have a bigger role. When he walked on-screen, we were like "Yes! He's going to lead them to the cannibal's lair, and help them get the townsfolk back!" But then he didn't, and that bummed us out. If you've seen him on Longmire, you know how cool that could have been.

YOU NEVER GO AGAINST KURT RUSSELL WHEN DEATH IS ON THE LINE!

I think to truly enjoy this movie, you have to really enjoy Westerns. There's an awful lot of moseying down the trail in this one, and while some of it can seem a bit "uneventful," it's the interaction between the characters that make it all worthwhile. Plus, the bloody deaths at the end were pretty great too.

Bone Tomahawk is a tiny little movie that cost about $1.8 million to make, so it's safe to assume that no one got a huge payday on this one. This is exactly the kind of little movie that needs and deserves our support however, so if it sounds like something that you'd dig, then don't hesitate to support it.

B+

Bone Tomahawk is available now on VOD, and in Limited Theaters.

Lili Simmons is probably the hottest Old West Doctor that has ever existed.