VOD Review: Inside (2018)

"Tame, by comparison. Or even on its own."

In 2007, the directing duo of Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo gave us one of the best Horror movies of the new millennium with Inside (À l'intérieur).

Inside was a gory, bleak, extreme film that had us gripping our seats until the very end, and it left us feeling a bit dirty when all was said and done.

It's a modern day classic, to say the least.

This remake, however, is a watered-down disappointment that feels like it was made to appeal to a wider audience instead of actually being bold and making a statement. 

Sarah and her loving husband are expecting a baby, and they couldn't be happier. When a car accident claims the life of hubby, that happiness is ripped away from Sarah, and she's forced to face the future, and the impending birth of their child, all alone.

NOW, SHE'S JUST SAD. AND VERY PREGNANT.

Flash forward to Sarah at home, preparing for a lonely Christmas. When a shadowy woman knocks on her door in the middle of the night asking to use the phone, her Christmas is about to get a whole lot bloodier, because this woman wants her unborn baby for her own.

If you've seen the original, you know how the plot plays out. If not, go watch it now, and avoid all spoilers.

DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR, IT'S A TRICK!

As with the Martyrs remake, this Americanized retelling of the French classic Inside is lacking in many ways. Where as the original was an artistic gorefest that pushed boundaries and was soaked in nuance, this remake just feels like any other run-of-the-mill offering that hits VOD week after week these days, because that's exactly what it is.

It's a well-made little movie, but absent is the dread and the shocking visceral punch that made the original so memorable. That's extra disappointing given the fact that it's produced by Jaume Balagueró (the guy who brought us the [REC] series, and it's directed by Miguel Ángel Vivas (the guy who brought us Kidnapped.) With that kind of talent behind the camera, this remake should have been way better than it is.

Rachel Nichols does a solid job as the terrorized widow who is about to give birth and finds herself fighting for the the life of herself and her unborn child; and Laura Harring does an admirable job as The Woman who is bound and determined to cut the baby from her and make it her own, but in the case of the latter, her character doesn't ever really feel terrifying, like Beatrice Dalle's counterpart in the original. The problem is where the original played more on atmosphere, this remake humanizes the villain far too much, giving her way too many lines of dialogue that lessened the impact of the threat she posed.

And the ending... what in the hell were they thinking?

It's really hard for us to watch a remake like this and not compare it to the original. I know that every film should be judged on its own merit, but then, when a film's merit is shared with that of another, far superior film, how can we not judge it by comparison?

SORRY, RACHEL. WE KNOW YOU TRIED.

There's some gore on display here, but it all feels rather conventional, as opposed to shocking.

DON'T WORRY, NOTHING COMES OF THIS.

Nada.

WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY...

If this wasn't a remake of a beloved modern day classic, then it wouldn't be a bad movie at all. Because it isn't a bad movie. It is however a pallid remake of a movie that hit us like a gut punch back in 2008, and because it lacks the originals nuance and shock factor, it's thusly doomed to live in mediocre remake hell.

If you dig remakes though, and can view them on their own merit without needing to compare, then this movie may be worth a look for you.

C

Inside is available on VOD now.

Well, at least the movie's eye candy game was on point.

VOD Review: Bedeviled (2017)

"It might not have anything new to say, but it sure says it well."

Anyone who has a smart phone knows that installing new apps can be a dicey game sometimes. Bloatware, malware, huge drains on the battery, and hours wasted trying to get the high score on games like "Where Did Grandma Hide that Zucchini?" are all very real things, and can be terrifying in their own right.

So just imagine an app that loads a haunted virus on your phone that learns your deepest, darkest fears, and then uses them to scare you, and kill you to death.

That's what Bedeviled is all about.

Mr. Bedevil is a Siri-like app for the ages. It will make witty comments, turn on lights for you, and help you organize your life is a fun and efficient manner. It will also kill you, because it's haunted. I mean, doesn't the name kind of give you the impression that it's creepy right away? Why would you even install it when it randomly shows up on your phone? Ever hear of spyware?

YOU'RE CUTE, BABY, BUT YOU AIN'T VERY BRIGHT.

After young QT Nikki falls victim to Mr. Bedevil's haunted shenanigans, her friends are reeling, so much so, that they have to stop texting and tweeting for 5 minutes to grieve... which they have no idea how to do, because all they do is text and tweet, and they have no emotions.

HANGING WITH FRIENDS IN 2017 IS SO MUCH FUN.

They all receive invites to download Mr. Bedevil, which they do, because you should always install any app that mysteriously makes its way onto your phone without you actually downloading it. The app instantly starts messing with them, turning their deepest darkest fears into reality... which if it was truly evil, all it would need to do would be to cut them off from Internet connectivity for life, and watch them die slow, agonizing deaths.

IF ONLY HE WERE ALLOWED TO BROWSE REDDIT, HE'D STILL BE ALIVE.

One by one, the friends are killed off by Mr. Bedevil, and it becomes a race against time for those left to figure out how to uninstall him from their phones so that they can live, and live-stream the VMA's which are tomorrow night!

Scary smart phone stuff ensues.

LIKE SHE COULD EVEN HACK THE MATRIX!

Movies like Chain Letter (review HERE), Unfriended (review HERE), and #Horror (review HERE) have all tried to capitalize on the current state of teenagers and their tech-obsessions, but they sucked. Bedeviled isn't all that great either, but at least it's well-made, the cast is able enough, and it offers up an interesting villain in Mr. Bedevil, even if the story he's stuck in is silly at times.

Here's the problem with most Teen Terror flicks like this: everyone is model-level gorgeous; they all live in beautiful homes that make us wonder what do their parents do to afford all of that; and those same parents never seem to be around much as their kids are being terrorized and brutally killed. I also never understand how in these movies when someone dies, their closest friends mourn them for like a minute, and then it's back to laughter and normalcy, or they dive into some intense investigation. Real emotions don't work like that, at least not with human beings they don't.

I guess what I'm saying is that most of them exist to show some pretty people in scary situations, and there isn't much depth or realism to most of them. Just like Bedeviled.

THOSE DEAD EYES...

For an R-rated movie, there sure isn't very much gore to be found here.

BUT THERE IS A HAUNTED DANCE-OFF. THAT WAS COOL.

Again, an R-rating with no R-rated action.

YEAH, US TOO.

Bedeviled is a decent enough movie in its way. It's well-made, has an interesting villain, and it looks pretty. It's also overly-familiar, tame, and not very scary. If you can live with those drawbacks, then give it a go and enjoy the pretty sights.

I'm probably being generously giving it a C, but we actually didn't hate watching it. Rent with caution though.

C

Bedeviled is available on VOD now.

Bedeviled's eye candy game was on point though. There's no disputing that.

Screener Review: The Ice Cream Truck (2017)

"That poster is awesome, but it's a bit misleading..."

*Thanks to the folks over at October Coast PR for the screener.

The poster for The Ice Cream Truck is all kinds of old school cool. Problem is, the movie itself doesn't deliver anywhere near the slasher-y goodness that the poster promises.

There's no way that I can discuss this movie without spoiling the whole thing, so in the sections below, I'm going to talk about the ending, and what it meant for the movie in general.

If you don't want the movie to be spoiled for you, forget our review and just check it out when you can.

You've been warned.

Mary and her family are moving back to her suburban hometown because they want the simple life. While fetching her morning paper, Mary notices a creepy ice cream truck driver waving at her from the street. Maybe he's delivering some "cool treats" to the lonely housewives of the neighborhood, or maybe he's plotting murder.

WHAT IS HIS END GAME?

Then, some shady looking guy shows up to deliver her furniture, and he gives her the once-over, noticing her wet boob, and walking in on her while she's changing. Maybe he's there to deliver her furniture, or maybe he's planning on giving her a good snuggle struggle instead.

A BUDDING ROMANCE?

The ice cream man starts killing off people in the neighborhood, Mary develops an inappropriate relationship with a local teenage boy, and we're not sure where the delivery guy went, because we were sure that he was going to stick around for some romance.

A suburban nightmare ensues.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE MISSED THE CONE, AND GOT THE STRAWBERRY SYRUP ALL OVER HIS SHIRT INSTEAD. SLOPPY WORK.

Right off the bat, Megan Freels' sophomore effort felt like an old school slasher flick to us with the way that the credits crawled up the screen to that sharp synth score, and we were sucked in. Deanna Russo made for a likable lead, and Emil Johnsen was suitably creepy as the ice cream truck driver. Jeff Daniel Phillips stole the show as the rapey furniture delivery guy. It was subtly amusing at times, and the kill scenes were decent.

But...

The main issue with the movie is that it plays out as a Horror flick, a commentary on suburban life, and a psychological drama all at once, and never really weaves those aspects together to make it feel coherent. It's well-made for a smaller Indie flick, and it's surely fun enough at times, but it tries to do too many things at once, and thus ends up being a bit of a muddled mess.

If you want to make a Horror flick, make a Horror flick. You can add all the subtext you want about how shady and annoying the suburbs are, and how lonely it can be for a woman to be thrust into a new situation alone, but dammit, deliver on the tension and blood-letting. If not, then drop the Horror bits and just make it a pure drama.

It's really the ending that killed it for me. I know that the movie is supposed to be a takedown of suburban life in general, along with being a profile of a woman and her psychological state, but the whole "it was all in her head" thing is the biggest cop-out there is, and aside from Haute Tension, it's annoying as hell to see a plot device like that negate an entire movie.

Had they played it straight-forward Horror-wise, and kept the subtext that fueled the film to a minimum, it would have been much better for it.

SHE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T A FAN OF BUTTER BRICKLE.

We get some ice cream scooper and knife violence, and some bloody moments throughout.

SHE SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH VANILLA.

There's a sex scene, but it's nothing overtly graphic.

NOT PROVOCATIVE ENOUGH.

The Ice Cream Truck isn't a bad movie, and in fact it's a rather enjoyable one for the most part, but it's also one that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to be... or maybe they shouldn't have sold it to us like it's a Horror movie, when it's clearly just the daydream of a bored suburban housewife.

Not bad, but frustrating.

C

The Ice Cream Truck hits limited theaters and VOD on August 18th.

I don't know how this is the first time we're seeing Deanna Russo in anything, but good lord does she ever have our attention now.