March 27, 2017

Blu-ray Review: The Wraith (1986)

"80's cheese at its finest."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092240/
(aka Tiger Blood From Outer Space.)
Release Date: Nov 21st, 1986.
Rating: PG-13
Country: USA.
Written and Directed by: Mike Marvin.
Starring: Charlie Sheen, Sherilyn Fenn, Nick Cassavetes, Randy Quaid, Clint Howard, and the Turbo Interceptor.

Anyone who grew up in the 80's knows that it was a blissful time to be alive if you liked, cheesy B-grade genre flicks. And feathered hair. Jean/leather jackets, and kick-ass music. And hot chicks with teased hair who look like they just stepped off of the set of the latest Bon Jovi video.

Well, this movie's got all of that, plus Clint Howard, a bitchin' alien ghost car, and a young, shirtless Charlie Sheen smiling his way through an empty role while popping wheelies on a dirt bike.

Packard Walsh is a local thug whose gang of hooligans forces people to race for their pink slips, or die a painful death. He's got a hot girlfriend (Sherilyn Fenn), and no one in town messes with him, because he's got a bunch of leather jackets and a switchblade, which makes him tough. But when a Dodge M4S Turbo Interceptor arrives from space (or maybe it came from the ghost dimension, which is somewhere in space), its silent, gimp-suit wearing driver is about to change all of that!

THE ORIGINAL POWER RANGER.
Charlie Sheen rides into town on his dirt bike, feathered hair and all, and he immediately catches the eye of Keri; the hottest chick in Assneck, Arizona. He immediately decides that he needs to give her his tiger blood, which pisses Packard off, because Keri belongs to him in a rapey, "I don't care if you hate me, you're my girl" kind of way.

"I'M SHIPPING OUT TO 'NAM SOON, SO LET'S PARTY!"
You see, Charlie Sheen is actually the ghost (or wraith, to be more accurate) of a kid who Packard killed for his car, who also happened to be Keri's boyfriend. Now he's returned in a bitchin' car to serve fiery vengeance to all of those who wronged him, and to get laid, because Keri is incredibly hot.

Cheesy goodness like only the 80's could deliver, ensues.

HE'S A BETTER ARTIST THAN HE IS A SHERIFF.
The Wraith is not a good movie. It's got a cheesy, cookie-cutter plot filled with empty, generic characters who spew some truly ridiculous dialogue, but underneath all of that, it's hard for us not to love it on a guilty pleasure level. It's glossy and fun, which was pretty much the norm back in the 80's.

The best parts of the movie are as follows:

  • Watching Charlie Sheen trying to act is always fun, especially in his early roles before he became a Vatican assassin who devoted his life to banging pornstars and 20-gram rocks. Those are his actual words. You remember his meltdown, right? Well knowing how he turned out, watching Chaz in a movie like this is something special. He filmed The Wraith in between Ferris Bueller and Platoon (which made him a huge star), and it's fun to watch him do his thing in such a "not good" movie.
  • Sherilyn Fenn: She was 20-years-old in this movie, and was smokin' hot in a way that gave teenage boys religion. She didn't do much throughout the movie besides look good, but who cares, because she was easily one of the hottest girls of the 80's.
  • The Soundtrack: Motley Crue, Ozzy, Billy Idol, Robert Palmer... this soundtrack rocked, and if this movie were made today, I can't image how many millions of dollars it would cost to get that many huge songs into one movie. 
  • The Turbo Interceptor: An actual prototype car made by Dodge in the mid-80's, it was sleek as hell, and made for the perfect "alien" car. Maybe it was a ghost car. Maybe it was both.
  • Clint Howard: He's great in everything he''s in, especially schlocky movies like these from the 80's.  

THE STUFF 80'S DREAMS WERE MADE OF.
The whole movie is bad in plenty of different ways, but the raft scene... who in the hell came up with that idea? I mean, it's good for a laugh, but watching Charlie Sheen paddle across a pond while trying to steal the girl of the guy who killed him works only on a comedic level.

And speaking of the guy who killed him, what was up with Nick Cassavetes always wearing a leather jacket? He even had a sleeveless one that he wore to the lake?!?

SUCH A TENDER MOMENT.
Where the hell is the Blu-ray of this movie? With all of the half-assed 80's shit-fests that have been making the jump to 1080p lately, are you telling me that this Charlie Sheen classic isn't worthy?

WHO DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THIS ACTION IN GLORIOUS 1080P?
The Wraith is pretty tame in the graphic violence department..

...BUT IT'S AN A+ IN THE CLINT HOWARD HAIRDO DEPARTMENT.
A blonde chick goes topless, and Sherilyn Fenn does the same in a flashback scene, but both were very brief.

SWEET JESUS...
Pure Shakespeare, the lines in this movie:

"A wraith, man! A ghost! A evil spirit - and it ain't cool"
"Sent cats climbin' up my spine when I saw 'em haulin' this corpse outta that canyon, clean as if he'd come out of a hot tub."
"Get rid of that zombie-piss you're drinkin' before it turns you into a mushroom!"
"But we know our constipational rights, sir, and you can't just come in here and..."
"Well, you listen good, Skank. I know it's gonna be hard with your melon on chemical overload, but there's a killer out there and I'm gonna track the hairball down. So, when you two crater-heads get finished mining for nose gold and you get a relapse of memory, you let me know, huh?"

THAT'S BROOKE BURKE, 2ND FROM THE RIGHT.
There's something about The Wraith that makes us love it even though it's a sucky movie. That probably has to do with being kids of the 80's, and the fact that we were weened on such B-level entertainment, but hey, bad movies are fun sometimes, especially when they're as slick and filled with talent as this one is.

*Stream it while drinking, and every time you shake your head at something that's going on on-screen, take a shot. You'll be drunk pretty quick, and like the movie even more.

The Wraith is available now on DVD, VOD, and is streaming on Netflix.

http://amzn.to/2nn4LaK

Man, how hot was Sherilyn Fenn back in the day?

Horror Hotties: Some More of Sherilyn Fenn

To most people, Sherilyn Fenn will always be Audrey from Twin Peaks, and for good reason; it was a huge role in an iconic TV show, and honestly, she never really did anything bigger.

We'll always remember her more for movies like The Wraith and Two Moon Junction though, and the movies of the late 80's-mid 90's where she got all kinds of naked, because that's what played over and over on Cinemax back in the day, and she was gorgeous.

She'll always be one of our favorite Retro Hotties.

THE WRAITH (1986)
THRASHIN' (1986)
ZOMBIE HIGH (1987)
TWO MOON JUNCTION (1988)
MERIDIAN (1990)
WILD AT HEART (1990)
TWIN PEAKS (1990)
Let's enjoy a quick retro trip down Fenn Lane, shall we?

March 26, 2017

The Trailer For IT is Only 3 Days Away!

"In a small town in Maine, seven children known as The Losers Club come face to face with life problems, bullies and a monster that takes the shape of a clown called Pennywise."

If director Anthony Muschietti's Instagram account is to be believed, then it sure seems like we'll be getting a trailer of some sort for IT Part 1: The Losers Club, this Wednesday.

He's been posting numbered balloons on his page since last week, and we all know that Pennywise loves balloons, and seeing as footage of IT recently debuted at SXSW to rave reviews, this seems like something that is going to happen.

It had better not be a trick!

We'll post it as soon as it hits. Get hype.