October 15, 2017

Netflix Review: The Babysitter (2017)

"If John Hughes made a Horror movie..."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4225622/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_5
A great Horror Comedy is a rare thing.
 
Over the past few years, some really great Horror Comedies have come our way. Movies like Deathgasm, Cooties, What We Do in the Shadows, The Final Girls, and Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse have entertained the hell out of us in their own special ways, and they stand above their peers in quality.

We're happy to say that The Babysitter can join that short list with pride, as it's the most fun we've had watching a genre flick all year.

*This review is going to contain some spoiler-ish material, but we won't spoil anything the trailer didn't give away.

Cole is a timid yet lovable 12-year-old kid who's afraid of needles, gets bullied at school, and has the hottest babysitter that has ever been know to man, Bee. Bee is a sexy, witty, closet nerd who really likes Cole, and they spend their time together nerding-out about Sci-Fi flicks and discussing how Cole should put the moves on the neighbor girl.

BUT UNDERSTANDABLY, COLE IS A BIT TOO IN LOVE WITH BEE TO GO MESSING WITH OTHER GIRLS.
Bee is also an insane Satanist who needs sacrificial blood to make the dark spells in her evil book come to life. Cole is supposed to be sleeping when Bee and her Satanic Scooby Gang decide to offer their latest sacrifice to Gog, but instead he witnesses the act, which puts him at deadly odds with Bee.

...and we've already said too much.

SHE'S ABOUT TO LOSE HER SHIT.
Gory, funny as hell, sexy, and oddly touching, The Babysitter is one of the best genre flicks that we've seen this year. Somehow, McG made the crazy plot (and even crazier visuals) work, where they should have made for a silly mess of a flick.

And the real surprise was that the movie had some sentimentality going for it, in the form of Bee and Cole's friendship. Sure, Bee is a crazy Satanist and all, but she genuinely cares for Cole, and the way that played out gave the movie a John Hughes-esque quality. Samara Weaving and Judah Lewis made the movie special.

Speaking of Samara Weaving (Hugo's niece), she's a star in the making. Not only is she gorgeous, but she's got range; she's got these insane looking eyes that go from wicked to tender on command, and even though she's the movie's big bad, we couldn't help but love her character. She was the heart of this movie, and she rocked it.

And to be honest, everyone else in the cast delivered as well, every one of them making us laugh. Robbie Amell is surprisingly funny, and I don't know where in the hell Andrew Bachelor came from, but dude had us rolling.

The only part of the movie that didn't jibe with us was the part with the car, but that's a small thing considering how much fun the rest of the movie was.

AND LET US NOT FORGET ABOUT BELLA. SHE SPECIAL.
The blood flows freely in this one, including some creative fire poker usage, gun violence, throat slitting, and neck skewering.

HE PROBABLY HAS AIDS NOW.
Aside from Robbie Amell going shirtless, there's no nudity here. There is, however, a kiss between Samara Weaving and Bella Thorne that makes the sapphic kisses from movies like Jennifer's Body and Wild Things look like amateur hour.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!
"All that blood was just in his boner."
"Carrie would have been better is she was black. She would have been covered in Hennessy."
"What the hell are you wearing? Lookin' like Big Bird's side-bitch."
"Why is he shirtless?"

BIG BIRD'S SIDE-BITCH.
Wat a genuinely pleasant surprise this movie was. Where we expected The Babysitter to underwhelm, it instead spent 90-minutes making us laugh, and left us marveling at how clever it all was. McG still has a stupid name, but if he keeps making movies like this, we might just end up being fans of his.

See it, and see it now.

A-

The Babysitter is streaming now on Netflix.

Samara and Bella might be the sexiest babysitter tandem ever.

October 14, 2017

Random Picture Round-Up: Short Film Saturday Edition

We spend a lot of time here at THC searching for great pictures to use in our reviews, for our banners, and for whatever else strikes our fancy. It's not always easy finding the perfect screenshot, but when we do find pictures that make us laugh, say "What the hell?," or are just plain awesome, we save them.

Unfortunately, we never use them all, and so they just sit there in our picture folder, waiting... which is why we decided to start posting them in random groups on a weekly basis!

They might even help you to decide what to watch.

This week, we're taking a look at some pics from Short Films that have thrilled us, chilled us, or even made us laugh.

  • You can click each pic to find out what movie they're from, if you don't recognize them. The links go to either IMBD or Amazon.
  • The movie's titles are also in the file name of the pictures, if you decide to save them to your computer.
  • Enjoy!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4029932/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2953092/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4632710/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3180446/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2058641/?ref_=fn_tt_tt_3
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4433106/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3113782/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3618240/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4255318/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4912522/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

October 13, 2017

What's New on VOD This Week? (10/10-10/13)

Today, M.F.A., Blood Money, and Amityville: The Awakening (free on Google Play) joined the already solid crop of flicks that hit streaming services earlier in the week, including the Dementia 13 remake, Wish Upon, and Devil's Night (only on iTunes).

Happy streaming!

*Be sure to click the pics to rent the movies, or watch their trailers. Or both. Or neither. It really depends on your mood, now doesn't it?

*If you aren't already a member, you should really give Amazon Prime a shot, especially if you order movies on the regular like we do, because the free two-day shipping pays for itself after around 10 orders. Check it out for free HERE.

NOW PLAYINGOct 10 (3)Oct 12 Google PlayOct 13 (2)Oct 10bOct 10 VODOct 10Oct 10hOct 13 VOD LIMOct 10 (2)Oct 10w170 x 250170 x 250

VOD Review: Amityville:The Awakening (2017)

"Well, at least they tried."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1935897/
We love Amityville flicks around here.

Th original is classic (the 2005 remake wasn't so bad either); part 2 is notable for some disturbing subtext; part 3... well, that was in 3D... and then the rest of the series' 18 installments are mostly trash involving dollhouses, Found Footage, and even a cymbal-banging monkey.

Some of those shitty "sequels" didn't even involve the Amityville house, and yet we've seen them all.

It's been a rough road for we Amityville fans as we've waited and hoped for a decent installment to come along and bring back some glory to the Amityville name... and unfortunately, this is not that movie at all.

It's not a real big mystery as to why this movie has been sitting on the proverbial shelf since 2014.

Belle is a brooding goth teenager who is particularly angsty these days because she was the cause of an accident that left her twin brother in a vegetative state. When her mother moves the family to a new house to be able to better care for her son, it's not long before weird things start to happen, and Belle begins to wonder if something is wrong with the house.

THAT HOUSE IS GOING TO EAT HER.
And of course there is something wrong with the house at 112 Ocean Avenue, because it's the damn Amityville house. The red room is still in the basement, and it's still radiating an evil ghostly presence, and this time the presence has set its sights on the comatose brother as its vessel... or maybe it's mom who's most susceptible to possession?

It doesn't really matter, because this is basically a family drama.

WHERE IS THAT PILLOW-SSNATCHING GHOST WHEN YOU NEED IT?
I'll give Amityville: The Awakening this much: it at least took place in the Amityville house, and the prodcuers did a great job of making it look authentic.

Aside from that though, and the fact that Bella Thorne is one of Hollywood's cutest redheads, and she's pleasant to look at, this movie plays like a Hallmark Channel movie with jump scares, and that's only good news if you're my grandmother.

Things get interesting towards the end, but everything else throughout is exposition, info dumps, and jump scares.

And Bella Thorne looking cute and angsty. I guess that's something.

I honestly wonder if this movie underwent a bunch of re-shoots or cuts, because it's crazy how generic the plot is, and how disposable most of the characters are. With such a notable cast, you'd think that they could have a decent little movie on their hands here, but actors like Jennifer Jason Leigh and Kurtwood Smith are wasted in this one, playing down to the generic, lackluster material.

I did like how the kids watched the actual The Amityville Horror, as that was a neat meta nod.

SHE'S SEEN BETTER ROLES.
Some nasty bed sores and a bit of gun violence are all we get here.

AND A HEAD WOUND. SHE SHOULD PROBABLY GET THAT LOOKED AT.
Not that kind of movie at all, but Bella Thorne looked good creeping around her haunted house in some boy shorts.

IF YOU NOTICE THAT BELLA IS PEELING WALLPAPER IN THIS PICTURE, THEN YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT OF THE SCENE.
As uninspiring and bland as Awakening is, it's still one of the best in the series behind Amityville 3-D... or maybe it's slightly ahead of that one, depending on how you feel about early 80's 3-D.

In any event, this is streaming for free right now, so if you're bored, are fan of Bella Thorne, or just have a deep-seeded need to see every Amityville flick that comes out like we do, you might as well give it a go.

D+

Amityville: The Awakening is streaming for free on Google Play.

Bella Thorne is the queen of long-delayed Horror movies: Amityville, The Babysitter, and Keep Watching are all finally seeing release this fall, after having been on the shelf for the past year or two.