Review: Dredd 3D (2012)

Dredd 3D is our sleeper hit of the year.

After painfully enduring Stallone's 1995 Judge Dredd movie, it's safe to say that we weren't really all that excited about a remake. Sure, there was no way it could have been any cheesier than Sly's version, but could it actually be any good? That was the real question, and the answer that we found was a resounding "Yes!"

Dredd is simply one of the best action flicks we've seen in a long while. It wasn't all bang and flash; it took it's time, handled the source material with a serious tone, and delivered on the uber-violence without making the movie one long gun battle after another.

She can judge me any time.

Karl Urban was the perfect Dredd, and Olivia Thirlby and Lena Headey were just as good in their roles. This movie played it straight, unlike the 1995 Stallone version, and was a better movie for it. It was nice to see that they stuck to canon and didn't have Dredd show his face this time out too.

How can you not love that face?

As for the action... tons of people and things blew up, got shot up, got burnt up, got beat up... and it was all shamelessly and excessively violent. It was mindless fun that wasn't dumbed down like most actions flicks tend to be, and yet it didn't take itself too seriously.

Poor kid.

Dredd 3D is one hell of an action flick, and it's now one of our favorite Blu-ray's in our collection. Aside from The Raid: Redemption, Dredd is the best action flick we saw in 2012, and oddly enough, the two movies are fairly similar in plot.

The marketing for this movie sucked, it should have never been released in the crappy-for-movies month of September, and Lionsgate should have played the 3D aspect of things down a bit. If I was skeptical about this movie sucking as bad as Stallone's original did, then general audiences were even more so. Dredd bombed at the Box Office, and it's a way better film than that. This is no John Carter or Battleship; Dredd 3D is an action lover's/Fanboy's dream.

We really hope that it sells well on BD/DVD and that we get a sequel somewhere down the road, because this movie truly begs for continuation. We'll have a Blu-ray copy in our hands come January 8th, and since it's safe to say that most of you probably haven't seen it yet (it made less that $20 million at the box office), we recommend that you grab one too. Trust us, you'll have a ton of fun with it.

A

Dredd is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

Olivia Thirlby and Lena Headey are in this.

Theatrical Review: District 9 (2009)

"This is the best movie of the summer, and maybe the year. Period."

In Attendance- Me, Machine, and Karrie.
Cast Members of Note- Sharlto Copley. Remember that name.

When aliens run out of gas and pull over to the side of the road (Earth) for help, we humans don't help them at all. Instead we force them all into a big, South African internment camp and tell them that they can't leave. We also call them Prawns, which shows you that not even alien life is immune to our derogatory labeling. 

Fine, so they look like prawns... can't we just call them that behind their back though?

Wikus Van Der Merwe (nice name) is the weaselly, sniveling little son of a bitch who is in charge of making the Prawns lives a living hell. As if their shanty-town shacks aren't bad enough, the Government wants to move all 1.8 million of them into a "better" tent town. How do they lure them to their new homes? Cat food. 

"That's right Prawn-face, come with us and you can have all the Meow Mix you want."

Christopher, Christopher Jr., fingernails, mechanized battle suit, exploding people, and scrap metal flowers... I'm not going to say anything else about what happens from this point on, because you deserve not to have any of it ruined for you, but I will say this: go see the movie. Unless you suck, you'll be happy that you did. 

Flawless CGI.

I'm going to stay as spoiler-free as I can here so that nothing will be ruined in advance of you seeing this late Summer gem of a movie, but It's safe to say that this movie works on so many different levels that it blows my mind. It's hard to believe that a movie this good cost a small fraction of the bigger budget summer suck-fests (you know who you are, crappy "Event" movies), and managed to be far more than any of them could even hope to be. 

Fun and smart at the same time, with a dash of heartfelt emotion in there too you say? Impossible! Neill Blomkamp has arrived as a director, and he gives us a captivating story, mind-blowing CGI on a relatively dirt-cheap budget, realistic yet insanely cool alien weaponry, bad-ass action scenes, a realistic feel, a hero that we (ultimately) feel for, and truly lifelike and believable aliens, making this one a winner. Peter Jackson (producer) puts his heart into every project that he's involved with, and it surely shows here. 

A quick word needs to be said about Sharlto Copley, the actor that plays the film's hero, Wikus. This is his first movie, and he has an odd name, but he was pretty damned good. He took me from hating him, to wishing him dead, to feeling for him, to cheering for him, almost effortlessly. Well played, Sharlto. I'm sure we'll see you in something else soon... 

"Th-thanks, m-m-mate?"

Mankind is seriously cruel, both towards each other and anything else we want to control, study, or just plain old have fun with. I really felt for the Prawns in this one, and by the end of the movie I was pretty much wishing the entire Human Race dead.

Alien Affairs? More like Alien oppressors!

Fuck you Hollywood, and your suck-job blockbusters that suck; because this is how you do a movie right. See, you can have something be visually stunning and have it display a whole lot of heart and originality too. In fact, for a mere $31 million dollars and change, you can make a thoroughly enjoyable movie that doesn't treat your audience like they're the village idiot that smiles even when you spit on them. Then again, I'm sure some people thought that finding out that The Transformers greet you in Heaven when you die, made perfect sense. Mouth-breathers, all of them. 

This is how it's done.

Is this movie gory? LOL! That's funny. I don't think I've seen more people explode in a movie since... well, never. The alien weaponry and its bloody uses on both human and alien alike was plentiful, and extremely messy.

I'm asking Santa for one of those mech/power suit things for Christmas.

Nuh-uh.  

"Three years. I promise." 

I believe you, Christopher Johnson.

People explode very easily. Also, as horrible as people can be, they deserve to explode more often.

Not Wikus though. He was alright.

It's sad that it took until the summer was almost over for its best movie to be released, but better late than never I suppose. Smart, fresh, fun as hell and crazy violent, D9 shows us how much good film making minds can do with limited budgets. Go see this now, and enjoy yourself immensely while supporting a film that absolutely deserves it.

A

District 9 is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

The summer of 2009 would like to thank D9, Star Trek, Drag Me to Hell, The Hangover, Moon, The Hurt Locker, Public Enemies, 500 Days of Summer, and Orphan for making it fun and enjoyable.

The summer of 2009 would also like to say fuck you to Transformers 2, G.I. Joe, Dance Flick, Land of the Lost, and Bandslam for sucking wholeheartedly. *The summer is not sure what to say to Terminator 4, Harry Potter, or Wolverine though, because it thinks it kinda liked those, but can't say for sure. 

DVD Review: The Breed (2006)

I love movies that involve doggy-style, and this one has plenty of it...

Cast Members of Note- Taryn Manning, Michelle Rodriguez, Oliver Hudson, Eric Lively, Hill Harper and Lisa-Marie Schneider.

A group of Post-Grad students head to a secluded island for a weekend of fun and hi-jinks, which mainly consists of drinking, trying to get laid and ripping on each other. Of course, the lone black guy in the movie takes the brunt of a lot of the ribbing since he's the "tag-a-long" and all. The poor guy just wants to get laid, but the snooty white girls will have none of it!

"Um, like, no and stuff. "

They drink, play a game of "spin the whore," drink, shoot bows, drink, and drink. When a little puppy shows up, it not only warms everyone's hearts, but it also brings death with it. The little scamp is part of a dog-gang that bullies humans and steals their wallets. They even smoke cigarettes! They're bad dogs!

Spin the whore.

The vicious dog-gang sets upon the lame College kids, nipping and biting their way through them in a blaze of dog-glory. In what has to be the films highlight, Taryn Manning actually karate fights a dog! It's really something to see. Will it be enough to save them though, or will the dogs have their day? I'm not going to spoil the ending for you here, but I will say that it doesn't look good for the humans.

The humans are fucked.

For a B-movie, The Breed was well-made, well-acted, and had a pretty decent level of suspense. The idea of intelligent, pissed-off dogs terrorizing a group of people may sound absurd, but it works to great effect here. Apparently Wes Craven sprinkled a little of his magic Horror dust over this production, because this was a pretty cool movie.

The realism on display throughout this one is what really made me the most happy; for once, we get a group of people that thinks things through and act pretty smart. It's pretty refreshing to feel as though the filmmakers made a movie for intelligent people for a change.

"We'll name him Death-Bringer!"

Bad dogs! You don't kill the hot women! Go lay down!

This dog needs to go back to Bitch School!

The ending... really? Does every single Horror movie have to use the same lame-ass ploy for one final jump scare in the very last scene?!? Boo! Yeah we get it, assholes; you suck at closing a film properly.

Us too, man. Us too.

Dog murder, dogs mauling people, arrow violence, dog explosions... there's all sorts of dog-on-dog, dog-on-people, people-on-dog, an even people-on-people violence to be had here.

Yeah, don't help him or anything.

Nope.

These are the puppies I really wanted to see...

"Woof!" or "Bark!" or "Grrrr!" or "Some scary ass lassie's, that's what!"

Dogs hate people. Also, never trust puppies, because they lie.

This dog hates you.

This is a surprisingly good movie. Smart, tense, violent, well-made... this is definitely one to rent or buy, depending on your mood. Thanks for giving us a good one, Uncle Wes!

B+

The Breed is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

The women of The Breed make us howl with delight.