Theatrical Review: Sinister 2 (2015)

I originally saw Sinister 2 back in September, but with the prep we needed to do for our Halloween festivities in October, I never sat down to write it up. Shame on me, I know, but them's the breaks.

Now that December is here though, it's time to play catch-up with all of the reviews that have been waiting in the wings so that we can get our year end Best/Worst Of 2015 lists ready to go.

With all of that said, Sinister 2 may not be as creepy as the first one was (our review of Sinister HERE), but it's a decent effort in its own way. Just a less scary one.

Everyone's favorite supernatural Boogey Man, Butthole, is back! Oh yes, he's back to claim the souls of more children by making them watch snuff movies and kill their families, and this time, he's set his sights on the twin sons (Dylan and Zach) of a sassy MILF (Courtney) who is on the run from her abusive husband. She's wisely decided to take up residence in an isolated farmhouse that just so happens to have a church where a heinous mass-murder has occurred, which makes their situation even worse. 

YOU DUN GOOFED.

Since the events of the first movie, Deputy So & So (now an ex-deputy) has been going around burning down the houses involved in Butthole's sinister game, so as not to allow him to kill anymore families and and add anymore kids to his creepy posse. When he meets the sassy MILF, who is staying in one of the homes associated with Butthole, he gets her drunk and tries to bang her, which shows just how human and emotionally vulnerable he is. He's all heart, really.

SCOUNDREL!

Butthole's gang of ghost kids shows up and coaxes young Dylan into watching the 8MM 16MM films of each of their family's murders, because somehow that will get him to kill his family, and allow him to join their ranks, even though we don't know what in the hell the point of it all is, or why the whole process has to be so damned complicated. Honestly though, why does Butthole claim the souls of children to begin with? Just to help him claim more children? What is your endgame, Butthole?

Supernatural hi-jinks ensue.

THIS ISN'T GOING TO END WELL.

Sinister 2 does not offer quite as many scares as the first movie did, but for some reason, we still found ourselves enjoying it almost as much as the original, even despite its flaws. I suppose it's James Ransone's Ex-Deputy So & So who made this sequel work as well as it did, as he's pretty much the star of the show. His interaction with Courtney, played by the ever-sexy Shannyn Sossaman, created a level of emotional drama that actually played well. Compelling characters are always a good thing.

JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

As for Bughuul and his creepy kid cult, they weren't quite as effective as they were in the first movie (mainly because they were on-screen all the damn time, and and after a while, it made their appearances less creepy), but I personally liked finding out more about them and their origins, especially Bughuul. That Norwegian Hell Call snippet was great, and I'd be fine with them making an entire movie based around that.

NOT REALLY AS CREEPY AS THEY LOOK.

As for what doesn't work so well in Sinister 2... well, it just wasn't all that scary. Interesting and engaging, yes, but it just lacked the intense and eerie atmosphere that was ever-present throughout the first movie. It felt like a retread at some points, even though it was doing a lot of things right.

The kill movies were cool too, but for some reason they felt less impactful and disturbing that the ones in the first movie did. It was kinda like how the traps in the Saw movies had less of a wow factor in the later movies. They were good, they just felt a bit too familiar.

NASTY LITTLE FILMS, THOSE.

Destroy all 8MM 16MM cameras (they upgraded for the sequel), because they're evil. Also, Shannyn Sossaman makes for one hell of a fine MILF.

SHE'S HOT EVEN WITH THAT UGLY SWEATER ON.

Not as good as the first one, but way better than most critics gave it credit for (it earned a horrid 14% on Rotten Tomatoes), Sinister 2 is a sequel that is a bit light on the scares, but big on ideas and character. We really liked James Ransone in the lead role, and the background that we got on Bughuul and his potential origins sucked us in and made us want more.

If you liked the first one, then temper your expectations a bit and give this one a go. It makes for a nice companion piece, if nothing else.

B

Sinister 2 will be available on VOD on December 22nd, and Blu-ray & DVD on January 12th.

There's nothing sinister about Shannyn "Sassy" Sossaman at all.

Blu-ray Essentials: Bates Motel (TV, 2013)

Bates Motel: Season One (2013)
Universal Studios
Price: Currently $22.99 on Amazon (click pic above to order)
Discs:
50 GB Blu-ray disc
2 Disc Set
UV Copy
Digital Copy (Download)
Video:
1080p
VC-1 (22.02 Mbps)
1:78:1
Audio:
English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1
Subtitles:
English SDH
Region: A, B

As Horror TV Shows go, most of them are fairly bland to us; sure, the Grimm's and Supernatural's of the world are fun, and have some great things about them, but in the end, they're safe shows created to cater to as broad of an audience as possible. Nothing wrong with that, sometimes that's just what we're in the mood for.

For the most part though, we do prefer our shows to play it straight. We'll take absorbing drama, a forward-moving narrative, and some shocking twists/developments any time over the more pedestrian "case of the week" type of fare. A show like Bates Motel gives us just that, and so much more.

A modern day prequel to Psycho (and thus, the legend of Norman Bates), Bates Motel is a pretty straightforward Thriller/Suspense vehicle about an odd teenager and his Mother who movie to a quiet Oregon town, buy an old motel, and get sucked into the surrounding community's drama and seedy goings-on. Sex trafficking, pot farming, murder, rape, sexual deviance... it seems as if everyone in town is creepier or more dysfunctional than the not-yet-psycho, Norman. Add two mentally unstable people to the chaos of those troubled surroundings, and you have the makings of a pretty compelling story.

Um...

Bates Motel is honestly every bit as much Norma's story as it is Norman's; sure, we know that she ends up dead, and Norman ends up dressing up like her and killing women unfortunate enough to rent a room at his creepy motel, but for now, his mommy issues are front and present and dominate the plot. His mommy, for the record, is pretty bat-shit nuts, and aside from being controlling and mentally abusive to her son, she seems to have no issue with murdering people.

Freddie Highmore is great as Norman, but it's really Vera Farmiga that makes the show; her Norma Bates is a character for the ages, and for most of the first season, we forgot that Norman was a burgeoning maniac, because we were waiting to see what crazy shit his nut-bag of a Mother was going to do next.

That's really what makes the show so great. Aside from being well made, and boasting a really solid cast, we already know where the story of Norman Bates is heading, and now we get to see exactly what happened in his life that lead him to the point of being the Serial Killer that we all know an love/fear.

How can you not love that? 

You just know she has to die at some point, right?

It's a brand new TV Show, so it's bound to be crisp and clean on Blu-ray, right? It's shot digitally, there are no visible artifacts to be found (at least not to our untrained eyes), the blacks are deep as they should be, and everything pops with natural perfection. This BD set looks gorgeous, as well it should.

His creepiness is so crisp and detailed in HD.

The DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 mix offered on these discs is crisp and sharp, and feels almost like its a cinematic effort. The score is fantastic and sounds great in this lossless format, and even the hum of the Bates Motel neon sign is deep and warm. Those with a proper surround sound system should be happy with this effort.

Ordering a pizza? Now?!?

The Special Features on this two-disc set aren't anything all that great or compelling, although the Paley Fest panel with the Cast & Crew was a fun and interesting watch. The Manga cards were a neat touch too.

We bought this BD to own the show, so the lack of extras don't bother us all that much in this case.

• Deleted Scenes (5 on each disc)
• Previews- Blu-ray/DVD previews for Grimm, Defiance, The Best of Hitchcock, and a few other TV Shows & Movies.
• The Paley Center Panel Discussion with the Cast and Creative Team
• Manga Cards- Actual cardboard replicas of the book pages that Norman finds under the carpet.

Is Jere Burns ever not awesome?

A solid show that does the legend of Norman Bates and his Mother more justice than we expected it to, Bates Motel is a must-see for genre fans. It's a solid Drama with enough Horror through lines to keep things nice and tense. It's bloody, too. Maybe not Hannibal bloody, but it gets the visceral job done in its own, more subtle way.

The 2nd Season of Bates Motel premieres on March 3rd, so now is the perfect time to catch up with the show if you missed out on it the first time around. It's definitely worth your time.

B
 

The ladies of Bates Motel, Season One: Vera, Olivia, Nicola, and Keegan. They're hot, and they all have unconventional names, which kinda makes them even hotter.

The 31 Days of Horror, Day Twelve- Smiley (2012)

Where to begin with this one...

We saw the trailer for Smiley not too long ago, and were pretty excited to see it. Now, I can only wonder if I was half asleep while watching that trailer, because the finished film is a painful mess of Internet in-jokes and poor everything else.

If you've been dying to see Scream ripped off by a few YouTube video "stars," and hoped that they'd rip off Candyman in an insulting way at the same time, then Smiley is for you.

If you're at all familiar with the website 4chan, particularly its infamous /b/ message board, then this movie is going to piss you right off. If you're not, then most of the in-jokes will be lost on you. You see, 4chan is one of the places on the interwebs where most of the memes come from. What's a meme? Things like the Rick-Roll, Epic Fail, Pwned, and most famously, the LOLcats. Basically they're funny/topical pictures with words, that get posted on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc...

Just Google it. I've explained enough.

We've used "Do Not Want!" as our lowest movie grade for years, and it is a meme. That's going to be very appropriate by the time we get to the bottom of this review...

If you're webcam chatting with someone and you type "I did it for the Lulz!" three times, a masked killer named Smiley magically shows up behind you and ends your life, apparently for the Lulz. Since it's mostly kids and Internet geeks who even know what the hell Lulz means, let alone how to use it effectively in a sentence, most people on the planet are pretty much safe from Smiley's revenge. That makes his Urban Legend kinda sucky, no?

Like, what?

Ashley is a painfully naive (stupid) freshman at some shit College. Her only friend is her new roommate, Proxy, whose name pretty much spoils the entire movie for anyone who knows what a proxy is... Anywho, Proxy is a whore who loves to party. She drags Ashley to an "Anonymous" party, which is full of  anon /b/tards and Pedobear lovers, and a gang of d-bags with shitty haircuts.

Not even Justin Bieber's mentally challenged cousin Clint, could save this movie...

The lead d-bag tells Ashley that his interests reside at "the intersection of Strange and Retarded," which is exactly where this movie dwells, so it's like a Meta reference of sorts. You know, the more I think about it, I have to believe that the filmmakers here trolled us all, making a shitty Meta movie just to make us cringe. If so, then well played, guys.

In this picture, Nolan from TV's Revenge is actually standing to the right of Strange and Retarded.

Long story short, someone types the dreaded "I did it for the Lulz!" and Smiley is unleashed. The whole movie is spent with Ashley wondering if she's crazy or if Smiley is real. Subsequently, the whole movie was spent by us hoping that Smiley would show up and slit our throats, so that the pain would just end.

Pretty much.

It ended. That was good. The ending wasn't good, but that it was over was really nice.

It's hard to find much good in this movie. Some YouTube kids with limited talent and vision got someone to pony up $13 million and made a movie, so good for them. That's a good. The Smiley mask was pretty cool, that's another good.

The painfully thieved plot elements, the bad acting, the atrocious dialogue, the long periods of nothing but talking, the annoyingly un-hip Meta jokes and references, and just about everything else was a bad. Very bad.

For example, we're treated to such lively and witty dialogue as "You're Pedobear, bitch tits?" And who is the Chud yelling "Pedobeayayyayer?" Good lord, it all hurt so much.

Wow. Just... wow.

So wait a minute... the Urban Legend of Smiley goes "You type "I did it for the Lulz" three times in an anonymous webcam chat, Smiley appears behind whoever you're video chatting with, and kills them?" Candyman should be pissed off that someone is ripping off his steelo in such a shitty, lame-ass way.

YouTube video makers should stick to making YouTube videos, and not mistake their "talent" of acting crazy in front of a webcam for being a filmmaker. You don't see Tay Zonday out there making a fucking movie, do you? No, you don't, and neither should you. Different dynamics. Different worlds.

...then who was phone?

 

Aside from the average 15-year-old who spends most of his time in Internet chat rooms, who in the hell is supposed to get the endless barrage of references thrown around in this movie?

Have you ever requested Rule 34 on something? Do the words Leet, Moot or Sage make you smile? Have your jimmies ever been rustled?  Do you know Scumbag Steve? Which seat should you take? Are you disappoint? Then who was phone? Chuck Testa? You mad? Then come at me bro!

Did any of that shit make any sense to you at all? No? Then you are the 99% (of the world that this movie IS NOT for.)

You're better than this shit, Keith David!

 

All of the great, well made Horror flicks out there that never see the light of day, and this is the crap that gets a Limited Theatrical release? We've been trolled, fellow Anons. This movie is bad on just about every level, so avoid it unless you like pain. If you like pain, then don't avoid it, and I guess... enjoy your pain?

Not even the Hotties of Smiley could save it from total ruin... although I'm willing to give them a second chance if they show up in something else. Let it never be said that I am not a fair person.