New on Blu-ray Today: The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

*We watched this movie way back in 2009, and found it to be a decent Found Footage flick. In the years since, we've seen it a few more times, and it's grown to be one of our favorites of the genre.

Thanks to Scream Factory, it's FINALLY hit Blu-ray and can be seen by Horror fans everywhere, and let me tell you that if you like gritty, realistic Horror flicks that make you feel dirty for watching them, then this is one not to miss. 

Check out our original review below, updated for the passage of time.






Sub-Genre- Serial Killer, Found Footage.
Cast Members of Note- Bobbi Sue Luther, and Stacy Chbosky.
Directed by- John Erick Dowdle, who would go on to helm films like Devil, Quarantine, and As Above, So Below.

A bunch of inept Cops and "experts" participate in a Documentary about the worst Serial Killer the world has ever known... Ed! At least they think that's his name, though they're so inept that they don't have so much as one clue about him, even after he leaves them hundreds of videotapes of his crimes. Could they not run the make of his car? Was there seriously not one print or molecule of DNA in his house, or at any of the crime scenes?

1-800-GOOD-LUCK-FINDING-HER.

Inept Police Work aside, Ed sure knows how to have fun; making whores pop balloons while dressed in bikinis, raping random kids and women, terrifying innocent Girl Scouts, taking advantage of the kindness of strangers... and he tapes it all for posterity's sake. And for the sake of love, apparently, which is something he desperately wants to find.

Hey Ed, this is not was love is.

Interviews, footage, interviews, footage, interviews, footage... I won't spoil the ending for you here, because it's so shocking, but let's just say that they never catch him. *It's Found Footage, no one ever gets caught.

...but plenty of people die!

Before even having seen this one, I loved the premise; Police find hundreds of video tapes belonging to a prolific local Serial Killer, each of them documenting his crimes in graphic detail. Now having actually seen it, this movie contains some absolutely disturbing scenarios and imagery, courtesy of said tapes, and if you can lose yourself in the Found Footage aspect of things, then you're in for a chilling ride.

Chloroform: The Stranger Picker Upper.

The acting in this was 50/50; some of it was decent and believable, and felt Documentary-like, but most of the rest of it was poor to bad, and even seemed ad-libbed at times. Then again, the script was pretty poor in places too; a good example of this is when a frantic mother calls 911 to say she thinks someone took her 8-year-old daughter, the 911 operator responds with "Like who?" in an uncaring, dismissive voice. Sub-par acting along with a script that needed to be a bit tighter, keeps this one from being the true Modern-day Classic that it could have been.

Overall though, this was a disturbing and creepy movie, that most people will find completely effective.

This looks like our porn collection.

Did the filmmakers think that obscuring the look of the killer's videos made them look more real? The footage was at times so horribly distorted, that we wondered if Ed had magnets in his pockets or something. I've never seen a worse camcorder in my life.

Is he adjusting the tracking?

Do you have to mess with the kids, Mr. Creepy Rape-Kill guy? I mean, all the Girl Scouts want to do is to sell their cookies, and make enough money for their Troop to go to camp "I'll be a whore someday," not be tortured and killed in terrible ways by you. You sir, are disturbing.

"Thin Mints please! Also, 2 boxes of Tagalongs. Also, I'm going to make you pass away with a knife."

There's not much gore in this one, but we do get a little bit of blood here and there. This movie is really more about disturbing visuals, rather than graphic violence, which is fine with us.

Like that right there? We get the point.

Dead hooker boobs.

"Pop it!" or "To be honest, I don't think either of us are gonna want you alive for the things I'm going to do to you."

Avoid nice guys with video cameras. Also, BDSM is scary.

Why did they not market and sell these masks? We'd buy one.

I have a feeling people will either love The Poughkeepsie Tapes, or downright hate it. Some things in this movie really, really worked well, while others fell a bit flat. I say see it; like The Blair Witch Project, it's an interesting Found Footage effort at the very least, and an awesomely disturbing movie at the most. That all depends on if the premise sucks you in or not though.

B+

The Poughkeepsie Tapes is finally available on Blu-ray now.

Bobby Sue Luther is in this.

VOD Review: They're Watching (2016)

"It at least kept us watching..."

They're Watching is technically a Found Footage flick, but we're also labeling it as a Mockumentary, because it was all about a Reality TV show, so it had aspects of both.

It's also the brainchild of the writers of such video games as Call of Duty: Black Ops II, and of the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants, so right off the bat, we knew that it would at least be something different.

And different it was.

We're probably going to take some crap for liking this one, or maybe just because we didn't hate it, but we've got to vote our feelings, you know?

This is gonna be a quickie. 

The crew of the Reality TV show Home Hunters Global is off to the country of Moldova, to find a new home for Becky; an artist who is tired of the fast pace of LA life, and who just wants to live somewhere that's quaint and rustic. Why she thinks that she's going to find what she's looking for in the ass-crack of Eastern Europe is anyone's guess, but hey, who can ever tell what a hipster artist is thinking anyway?

HIPSTER OR NOT, SHE'S HOT.

The crew -Sarah, Greg, and Alex, along with bitchy boss, Kate- find some help from a charming local guide named Vladimir, and together they set out to capture the the local sights on video, because long shots of the mouth-breathing locals are going to add some great flavor to Becky's story. They also drink and party, because what the hell else is there to do in Moldova?

AT LEAST ONE OF THEM IS HAPPY.

When they interrupt the villagers during a religious ceremony (Satanic rite, for all we know), they quickly begin to feel unwelcome... which is to say that the locals want to kill them because they think that they're witches or something.

Hilarious hi-jinks ensue.

AND DEATH. DEATH ENSUES TOO.

They're Watching reminded us of... and I say this VERY, VERY lightly... What We Do in the Shadows; not because it's anywhere near as funny or clever, but it had that same sort of light, humorous Mockumentary vibe about it. This one was funny, but on a lesser level.

This movie gave us a pretty fun premise, and we liked the characters and their witty banter, but there really wasn't much Horror to be found until near the end. We're not complaining, not really, as the movie entertained us fairly well with its humor, but anyone going into this one expecting it to be a balanced mix of Horror and Comedy might well be disappointed. 

Had the film's producers been able to spend a bit more money on the CGI that rules the last 10 minutes of the movie, it would have been better for it. It's pretty chintzy as is, and it fits in far better with the comedic tone of the first half of the movie, than with the Horror that they were trying to close it out with.

"SO, YOU WILL LET VLAD SHOW YOU MOLDOVA SWEAT BOX, YES?"

There's a bit of blood and gore at the end, but most of the movie is devoid of any such stuff.

THIS IS WHAT MAKES UP MOST OF THE MOVIE.

No nudity here, which is a bummer given how attractive the movie's cast is.

SUCH A QT.

Eastern Europeans hate Americans. And Witches. Especially American Witches.

SHOULDA STAYED IN LA.

Say what you will about They're Watching, because it's certainly not a prefect Horror Comedy by any means, but we enjoyed it. It had a fun vibe about it, the cast handle their comedic roles fairly well, and the finale was pretty cool... if a bit visually underwhelming.

If you dig the trailer, then this movie will probably be a fun rental.

C+

They're Watching is in theaters (Limited), and on VOD now.

Brigid Brannagh and Mia Faith make for one bewitching on-screen duo in this one.

VOD Review: Digging Up the Marrow (2015)

(aka The Ray Wise Show.)
Release Date: February 20th.
Country: USA.
Rating: NR.
Written & Directed by: Adam Green.
Starring: Ray Wise, Adam Green, Will Barratt, and Josh Ethier.

As gory and over the top as Adam Green's Hatchet movies were, we were expecting Digging Up the Marrow to be cut from the same cloth; after all, it's a movie about deformed monsters, so isn't it reasonable to expect that maybe those monsters would rip some people apart or something?

Unfortunately, this is not the kind of  movie where monsters rip people apart.

Writer/Director Adam Green loves monsters. In fact he loves them so much, that not only does he want them to be real, but he's determined to prove that they are. When he receives some crazy fan mail from a guy who claims that monsters are real, and that he can prove it, Adam jumps on the chance to finally prove that he's right.

HE TALKED TOO MUCH.

The guy, Willian Dekker, tells Adam about a place called The Marrow; a place where the deformities and rejects of our world go to live amongst each other, have families, and just be happy. The Marrow is underground, and it's really hard to find an entrance to the place, but Dekker knows where one is, and he's always watching it. He also might be insane, which is probably not good for Adam or his safety.

SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

Dekker invites Adam and his cameraman out into the woods at night (of course) to watch the entrance to The Marrow with him, and Adam can't resist the chance to exploit the guy, all while treating him like he's some sort of loon... because Adam is a bit of a dick. From that point on, things get crazy and creepy.

MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS?

Watching Digging Up the Marrow was a pretty enjoyable experience for us. It's a bit of a laid back movie, with most of it involving people talking rather than doing all that much. The way that it laid a foundation for the whole "there are monsters among us" premise though was fun, and at times, and even a bit creepy. The Mockumentary style that Adam Green used for this one gave him a lot of freedom to make things feel more real and natural, even including interviews with other Genre talent to bring that point home.

When we did get some action involving the creatures that live in The Marrow, it was pretty effective and unsettling. The creature designs were pretty spectacular, and even though you only get to seem them a few times, and some of them only in quick flashes, they felt real and threatening. We especially liked the dude with the pumpkin sack on his head. He was creepy.

Aside from its fun premise, the thing that really carried this movie was the performance of Ray Wise. That guy is a fantastic actor who can go from crazy to broken-hearted to scary, with ease, and he does so all throughout the movie. Above all else, he's fun to watch, as his absolute deadpan delivery makes for some great darkly comedic moments and scenes... and its self-aware, tongue-in-cheek vibe is what really makes the movie so enjoyable.

WHERE'S LAURA PALMER, RAY?

Adam Green is not the best actor, and playing opposite of someone as talented as Ray Wise, it really shows. The way he plays himself as a kind of asshole-ish jerk probably didn't help things very much.

WHY IS HE SUCH A SMARMY LITTLE D-BAG IN THIS MOVIE?

What was with that ending? We're not going to spoil the final scene for you, but the way that it built and built, and them ended in such a "Huh?!?" kind of way, was disappointing. We still can't figure out what was "screamed" either.

EVEN THIS SWEET OLD COUPLE WAS BAFFLED BY THE ENDING.

Digging Up the Marrow is a gore-free endeavor, though it does boast some really great creature designs, both physically and on paper.

MONGOLOID OUT OF NOWHERE!

A quick shot of a girl sleeping in her panties, but that's it.

Don't ever try to "dig up the marrow." Also, maybe don't trust crazy old men who beg you to come into the dark woods with them at night to look for "monsters." We did, and we've been in therapy since we were 8-years-old because of our naivety.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!

Fans of Adam Green will most likely love Digging Up the Marrow, as you can plainly see that it was a labor of love for him to make this movie. The premise may feel cheesy, but the way that Green lets it unfold, along with the excellent performance of Ray Wise, makes it a good kind of cheesy. It's not perfect, and it certainly could have "done more" with its exciting premise, but it's definitely enjoyable enough to give it a rent on VOD.

B-

Digging Up the Marrow is available now on VOD, and will hit Blu-ray & DVD on March 24th.

Rileah Vanderbilt is in this.