Netflix Review: Altered Carbon, Season One (2018)

"This is exactly the kind of TV show that we crave."

(aka Our Eventual Future.)
Release Date: February 2nd (Netflix)
Country: USA.
Rating: TV-MA.
Written by: Richard Morgan, Various.
Directed by: Various.
Showrunner: Laeta Kalogridis.
Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Martha Higareda, James Purefoy, Ato Essandoh, Chris Conner, Dichen Lachman, and Renee Elise Goldsberry.

Every time we (and most likely a lot of Sci-Fi fans) get wind of something like Altered Carbon, the movie Blade Runner instantly comes to mind. It's a Sci-Fi classic that painted the future as a bleak one, where things are run by big corporations, and the Police are ever present, keeping order in the over-crowded streets. The environment is in decay, the divide between the rich and the poor is wider than ever, and technology rules everything.

It's an escalated reflection of our times, which is classic dystopian setting.

Altered Carbon may well inhabit that same sort of dystopian future, but its got its own stories to tell, and so please go into this one knowing that it is NOT a Blade Runner clone or rip-off, but that the movie's influences are undeniable, none the less.

In the future, death is not the end. Our bodies are merely sleeves used to hold storage devices called cortical stacks, which house human consciousness in our spines. If your stack is destroyed, it's game over, but as long as it remains intact, it can be housed in any available sleeve, at any time, making a person virtually immortal. Of course, the richer you are, the more choice you have as to which sleeve you get, so for the poor, it's pretty much take what you can get.

SHE TAKES WHAT SHE WANTS.

The richest of the rich (Meths) live in massive, gorgeous skyscrapers that reach above the clouds, and they live lives of absolute privilege; while the poorest humans (Grounders) dwell on the dirty, over-crowded ground, living in hand-to-mouth squalor. When Bancroft, one of the richest Meths, suspects his sleeve was murdered, a former Envoy (a badass soldier of sorts) named Takeshi Kovacs is awakened from his 250-year stint on ice to find out what happened.

OH LOOK, HE'S WAKING UP... AND HE ISN'T ASIAN ANY MORE.

Along with a hot Latina Cop (who kicks all sorts of ass); a computer A.I. who thinks it's Edgar Allen Poe; and a dude who wants bloody revenge for what happened to his wife and daughter, Kovacs uncovers the details of the intricate plot behind Bancroft's sleeve death, which reaches into his past in ways he could have never imagined.

Let's just say that shit goes down.

YOU DO NOT MESS WITH AN ENVOY.

The world of Altered Carbon is as breathtaking and captivating as it is terrifying. The way people are re-sleeved; the virtual way that people can be tortured to death over and over again, and how it's completely legal; pleasure centers where prostitutes are literally screwed to death, their bodies discarded like trash; husbands and wives fighting to the death, all in an effort to make enough money to get better sleeves, and live better lives... The way the Meths view everyone else as disposable entertainment is frightening, because that's how many rich and powerful people in today's world behave, albeit not to such extreme levels. Usually.

This is a Neo-Noir detective story as much as it is anything, and we're completely fine with that. Tak Kovacs is brooding, death-dealing hero who drinks too much, lovers cyber-hookers, and doesn't care about anything, but of course, he has a heart of gold underneath it all. Sure, it's cliche' as hell, but he's such a great character, and Joel Kinnaman plays his so perfectly, that it doesn't matter, because not only does he dazzle us with his badassery, but he makes us care about him, and that's the whole battle right there.

Even better, his gang of misfit friends are all each as likable, and we cared about their stories too. How do you not love Poe, and his killer hotel, not to mention his love for a human girl that leads him to heal her, making her into something new? How do you not want to see Elliot reunited with his family as much as he does? Or how do you not want Ortega to get naked, because dammit, it's her body, and she can do what she wants to with it! Even the villains are compelling as hell.

Great characters, inhabited by great actors.

Of course it's hard to a watch a show like Altered Carbon in this day and age and not draw parallels between its story and the current state of world affairs. The book may have been written in 2002, but the rich vs. poor angle of its central story is one that is always relevant, and one that always will be. The show isn't here to preach, but it does make some strong statements about how people are valued in our society, and who truly controls things, which makes it all extra compelling.

LIKE A BOSS.

The second season of Altered Carbon will most likely feature an entirely new cast, because the story of Takeshi Kovacs moves to a different world, and that sucks, because everyone did such great work here, that we'd love to see more from their characters in the future.

WHAT A GREAT DUO.

Why does the best damned supporting character in every son of a bitching TV show that we watch and love, have to die?!?? The one damn person we wanted to live died painfully in this one, and it sucked!!!!

THAT'S ABOUT HOW WE FELT.

There is a liberal amount of blood and violence on display throughout this one, some of which is downright uncomfortable to watch. Isn't that great?

KILL 'EM, BABY. KILL 'EM ALL!

There's no shortage of sex and nudity in the future, and there's plenty of both on display throughout the entire season.

BABY GOT FRONT.

• The beginning scene at the hotel with Kovacs.
• The A.I. hotel coming to violent life.
• The arena fight.
• The re-birth of Lizzie.
• The Ortega vs. Mr. Leung showdown.
• Just about every fight scene.

KOVACS WAS AWESOME IN BOTH SLEEVES.

It's not a perfect show, and the end felt way to over-convoluted and messy, but overall Altered Carbon was an engrossing, 10-hour look into a nightmare world that dazzled and horrified us at the same time.

We tend to get more satisfaction these days out of TV shows that we do movies, because with TV, you get more of the story and characters that you grow to love. That is exactly the case with Altered Carbon, and if you're looking to immerse yourself in a truly bingable world for a few hours, then add it to your Netflix lists pronto.

A

Altered Carbon is steaming on Netflix, now.

The future might be scary, but it's filled with gorgeous women who kick ass, so we deal.

VOD Review: Better Watch Out (2017)

"It's never too early to get in the Christmas spirit."

(aka Safe Neighborhood.)
Release Date: October 6th.
Country: Australia.
Rating: R.
Written by: Zack Kahn.
Directed by: Chris Peckover.
Starring: Olivia DeJonge, Virginia Madsen, Patrick Warburton, Levi Miller, and Ed Oxenbold.

Do yourself a favor: if you haven't already checked out the trailer for Better Watch Out, skip it, and just watch the movie.

I know that no one really watches movie these days without seeing a trailer first, but in this case, the trailer gives away too much of the movie's Holiday cheer, which is a real shame.

It's the Holiday Season, and Ashley has a babysitting gig. Luke, the kid she's babysitting, is in love with her, and he's planning on confessing his love while his parents attend a Christmas party. After his awkward attempt to seduce her with the winning combo of Horror movies and wine, a brick flies through the window with the message "You leave, you die" written on it, and any plans of romance go out the window as Ashely and Luke have to face a masked home invader with bad intentions.

I know that's pretty vague, but the less you know going into this one the better.

Home Alone-style savagery ensues.

WELL, THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY HOME ALONE...

Better Watch Out looks great, boasts a smart script and equally smart direction, offers plenty of darkly humorous moments to balance the demented parts, and overall, it's a lot of fun. This is a Black Comedy that feels a lot like Funny Games, and yes, I suppose there's a bit of Home Alone-ish action to draw a comparison, although that really paints the wrong picture.

Sure, this movie has a Christmasy feel about it, but it's a twisted commentary on the ils of suburban life. And how boys are evil and treat girls wrong. And how babysitting is for suckers.

Levi Miller showed some chops as Luke, which truly took some range, and Ed Oxenbould made for a competent enough best friend type, but this is Olivia DeJonge's movie, make no mistake. She was good in The Visit, and we loved her supporting role in Scare Campaign (review HERE), but she ascended to the next level in this one, carrying the movie with her performance. She plays terrified and tough equally well, and she's got great screen presence.

THAT'S GOTTA BE COLD.

Luke was a bit over-the-top with some of his mannerisms. I know they were trying to illustrate how unhinged he was, but it came off like he was some kind of goofy edgelord. That was by design, but it irked us at times.

WILL THEY SAVE THE GIRL?

I really loved the ending to this one... which is why I didn't really dig the mid-credits scene. It ended perfectly, so why ruin it with some obligatory "See you in the sequel!" crap like that?

THIS GIRL DON'T PLAY.

A paint bucket, some rope, a shard of glass, and bullets give this one just the right amount of bloody goodness.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE HEAD WOUND.

Plenty of sexual themes and discussions throughout, but nothing gets visceral. 

NICE TRY KID, BUT SHE'S NOT SHARING HER PIZZA WITH YOU.

Better Watch Out was a really good movie that balances dark humor with twisted violence. It's also one that's going to put a lot of people off with its subject matter, and the dynamic shift that happens about halfway in might throw some people off, but overall it's a great movie to watch this October... and probably again in December.

B+

Better Watch Out is available on VOD now.

Olivia DeJonge is quick becoming a Scream Queen to reckon with.

Netflix Review: Gerald's Game (2017)

"A room, a dog, some handcuffs, and a haunted past make up the terror of Gerald's Game."

(aka Kink Gone Wrong.)
Release Date: September 29th.
Country: USA.
Rating: TV-MA.
Written by: Stephen King and Mike Flanagan.
Directed by: Mike Flanagan.
Starring: Carla Gugino, Bruce Greenwood, Henry Thomas, and Chiara Aurelia.

With a resume that boasts movies like Oculus (review HERE), Ouija: Origin of Evil (review HERE), and Hush (review HERE), our expectation for Mike Flanagan's adaptation of the Stephen King novel Gerald's Game were over the moon.

The guy knows how to craft an effective movie, and if anyone could make this quiet, isolated, disturbing story come to proper life on screen, it would be him.

And boy did he ever.

Jessie and Gerald are a married couple who need some spice in their life, or at least Gerald does. You see, Gerald is a BDSM freak (no judgment) who needs to take Viagra to be able to make sweet love, unless bondage or rape fantasies are involved, then he's all good on his own. Jessie is a sweet and loving wife who is trying to make her husband happy, but she had a rough childhood, and that tends to weigh heavily on her.

SO MUCH LOVE.

They decide to spend a quiet weekend together at their lake house, where they're hoping that kinky games like "Shut up and take it", "Who's Daddy's special little girl?", and "Bitch, obey!" will somehow save their faltering marriage. So Gerald cuffs her to the bed and begins to show her how to have some "real fun", when he has a heart attack and dies on top of her. Of course Jessie kicks him off of the bed, because that's gross.

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH A METAPHOR FOR THE MOVIE.

Jessie, cuffed to the bed with no food or water, starts to freak out and have hallucinations. Her dead husband is up and talking to her, and she's also walking around the room talking to the her that's cuffed to the bed. There's also a wild dog who is really hungry, and a ghostly specter called The Moonlight Man who shows up at night wanting to steal her soul.

They probably should have stayed at a Motel 6.

AND HE'S A FOOT FETISHIST.

For me, the best Stephen King adaptations tend to be his "Non-Horror" stories. Movies like Stand By Me, The Shawshank Redemption, Dolores Claiborne, and The Green Mile are all phenomenal films, and while they all, including Gerald's Game, contain their own horrific elements, they ascend to that higher level of storytelling. Now don't get me wrong, I love his Horror flicks a ton (Salem's Lot, IT, Cujo, The Dead Zone, to name a few), but he has a genuine knack for telling human stories, and tapping into that human vulnerability that we all identify with. I think that he shines when he leans towards the dramatic.

Gerald's Game is a fantastic portrait of a woman who has dealt with abuse all of her life. Her father abused her, her husband was controlling and harbored dark secrets, and even the dog and The Moonlight Man all want things from her that are great for them, but horrible for her. It's all a way of illustrating that this woman has spent a lifetime of dealing with men who use her, abuse her, and do nothing positive for her, which makes for an interesting subtext to being chained to a bed and at the  mercy of them all... which is a terrifying premise in its own right.

It's a journey of strength and survival, and of a woman's fight to overcome not only her hopeless situation, but the ghosts of her past that have always haunted her.

Carla Gugino was one of the very first Horror Hotties that we featured on this site. Not because she has a prolific amount of Horror titles in her resume, but because she's gorgeous and extremely talented, and we just adore the shit out of her. Her work in Gerald's Game is top-notch, especially when she plays the part of her "free" self; there's just something self-assured and commanding about that part of her, and she balanced the vulnerable, terrified version of her perfectly.

Bruce Greenwood is a veteran character actor who knows his business too. Here, he plays skeevy and intimidating quite well, and was the perfect compliment to Gugino's weak and vulnerable portrayal. If you really want to see an excellent movie that shows the power of his acting, check out the 2014 film Wildlike. It's an absolute hidden gem of a movie.

And let's not forget about Henry Thomas, whose performance here made our fucking skin crawl, and was the most terrifying part of the movie... and that's saying something. I always wonder how actors can play that sort of role, and I give him credit for having the guts to do it at all, let alone doing it so well. Chiara Aurelia was no less brave and fantastic playing young Jessie.

I love the side-story of The Moonlight Man and how it unfolded too. It added a truly eerie vibe to the movie, and made things all the more harrowing.

EVER HEAR OF BACKGAMMON, GERALD?

What's with that dog, man? Someone gives you some Kobe beef, and then you turn around and try to eat them and their dead husband? You don't bite the toe that feeds you!

THIS SON OF A BITCH RIGHT HERE...

Those scenes with Henry Thomas were genuinely the most terrifying part of the movie. I'll never watch E.T. in the same way again!

TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING HEARTLIGHT, HENRY!

Not a ton of gore to be found here, but the bits with the dog and the part at the end made up for the lack of quantity with truly gruesome quality.

SWEET JESUS...

There's no nudity in this one but the movie contains plenty of sexual themes, some of them disturbing as hell.

WE'D PLAY CARLA'S GAME ANY TIME.

Mike Flanagan was born to make compelling, suspenseful movies. Period. The guy's impressive resume has gotten infinitely stronger with Gerald's Game, and given the way that he melded emotional drama with stark Horror in this one, we expect that we'll be hearing his name attached to bigger projects very soon.

This is a great movie that operated on different levels, all of which flow together to make for one harrowing, intense, and emotionally weighty watch.

Don't miss it.

A

Gerald's Game is streaming now on Netflix.

Oh, Carla.