Netflix Review: Altered Carbon, Season One (2018)

"This is exactly the kind of TV show that we crave."

(aka Our Eventual Future.)
Release Date: February 2nd (Netflix)
Country: USA.
Rating: TV-MA.
Written by: Richard Morgan, Various.
Directed by: Various.
Showrunner: Laeta Kalogridis.
Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Martha Higareda, James Purefoy, Ato Essandoh, Chris Conner, Dichen Lachman, and Renee Elise Goldsberry.

Every time we (and most likely a lot of Sci-Fi fans) get wind of something like Altered Carbon, the movie Blade Runner instantly comes to mind. It's a Sci-Fi classic that painted the future as a bleak one, where things are run by big corporations, and the Police are ever present, keeping order in the over-crowded streets. The environment is in decay, the divide between the rich and the poor is wider than ever, and technology rules everything.

It's an escalated reflection of our times, which is classic dystopian setting.

Altered Carbon may well inhabit that same sort of dystopian future, but its got its own stories to tell, and so please go into this one knowing that it is NOT a Blade Runner clone or rip-off, but that the movie's influences are undeniable, none the less.

In the future, death is not the end. Our bodies are merely sleeves used to hold storage devices called cortical stacks, which house human consciousness in our spines. If your stack is destroyed, it's game over, but as long as it remains intact, it can be housed in any available sleeve, at any time, making a person virtually immortal. Of course, the richer you are, the more choice you have as to which sleeve you get, so for the poor, it's pretty much take what you can get.

SHE TAKES WHAT SHE WANTS.

The richest of the rich (Meths) live in massive, gorgeous skyscrapers that reach above the clouds, and they live lives of absolute privilege; while the poorest humans (Grounders) dwell on the dirty, over-crowded ground, living in hand-to-mouth squalor. When Bancroft, one of the richest Meths, suspects his sleeve was murdered, a former Envoy (a badass soldier of sorts) named Takeshi Kovacs is awakened from his 250-year stint on ice to find out what happened.

OH LOOK, HE'S WAKING UP... AND HE ISN'T ASIAN ANY MORE.

Along with a hot Latina Cop (who kicks all sorts of ass); a computer A.I. who thinks it's Edgar Allen Poe; and a dude who wants bloody revenge for what happened to his wife and daughter, Kovacs uncovers the details of the intricate plot behind Bancroft's sleeve death, which reaches into his past in ways he could have never imagined.

Let's just say that shit goes down.

YOU DO NOT MESS WITH AN ENVOY.

The world of Altered Carbon is as breathtaking and captivating as it is terrifying. The way people are re-sleeved; the virtual way that people can be tortured to death over and over again, and how it's completely legal; pleasure centers where prostitutes are literally screwed to death, their bodies discarded like trash; husbands and wives fighting to the death, all in an effort to make enough money to get better sleeves, and live better lives... The way the Meths view everyone else as disposable entertainment is frightening, because that's how many rich and powerful people in today's world behave, albeit not to such extreme levels. Usually.

This is a Neo-Noir detective story as much as it is anything, and we're completely fine with that. Tak Kovacs is brooding, death-dealing hero who drinks too much, lovers cyber-hookers, and doesn't care about anything, but of course, he has a heart of gold underneath it all. Sure, it's cliche' as hell, but he's such a great character, and Joel Kinnaman plays his so perfectly, that it doesn't matter, because not only does he dazzle us with his badassery, but he makes us care about him, and that's the whole battle right there.

Even better, his gang of misfit friends are all each as likable, and we cared about their stories too. How do you not love Poe, and his killer hotel, not to mention his love for a human girl that leads him to heal her, making her into something new? How do you not want to see Elliot reunited with his family as much as he does? Or how do you not want Ortega to get naked, because dammit, it's her body, and she can do what she wants to with it! Even the villains are compelling as hell.

Great characters, inhabited by great actors.

Of course it's hard to a watch a show like Altered Carbon in this day and age and not draw parallels between its story and the current state of world affairs. The book may have been written in 2002, but the rich vs. poor angle of its central story is one that is always relevant, and one that always will be. The show isn't here to preach, but it does make some strong statements about how people are valued in our society, and who truly controls things, which makes it all extra compelling.

LIKE A BOSS.

The second season of Altered Carbon will most likely feature an entirely new cast, because the story of Takeshi Kovacs moves to a different world, and that sucks, because everyone did such great work here, that we'd love to see more from their characters in the future.

WHAT A GREAT DUO.

Why does the best damned supporting character in every son of a bitching TV show that we watch and love, have to die?!?? The one damn person we wanted to live died painfully in this one, and it sucked!!!!

THAT'S ABOUT HOW WE FELT.

There is a liberal amount of blood and violence on display throughout this one, some of which is downright uncomfortable to watch. Isn't that great?

KILL 'EM, BABY. KILL 'EM ALL!

There's no shortage of sex and nudity in the future, and there's plenty of both on display throughout the entire season.

BABY GOT FRONT.

• The beginning scene at the hotel with Kovacs.
• The A.I. hotel coming to violent life.
• The arena fight.
• The re-birth of Lizzie.
• The Ortega vs. Mr. Leung showdown.
• Just about every fight scene.

KOVACS WAS AWESOME IN BOTH SLEEVES.

It's not a perfect show, and the end felt way to over-convoluted and messy, but overall Altered Carbon was an engrossing, 10-hour look into a nightmare world that dazzled and horrified us at the same time.

We tend to get more satisfaction these days out of TV shows that we do movies, because with TV, you get more of the story and characters that you grow to love. That is exactly the case with Altered Carbon, and if you're looking to immerse yourself in a truly bingable world for a few hours, then add it to your Netflix lists pronto.

A

Altered Carbon is steaming on Netflix, now.

The future might be scary, but it's filled with gorgeous women who kick ass, so we deal.

VOD Review: Headshot (2017)

"More hyper-kinetic martial arts awesomeness from Indonesia."

After seeing the fantastic martial arts films The Raid (review HERE) and The Raid 2 (review HERE) , we instantly became fans of Indonesian genre films, marveling in the rapid-fire ferocity that is the Pencak Silat fighting style.

We then found a flick by The Mo Brothers called Killers (review HERE) that deepened our admiration of the small Island nation's ability to capture our imaginations.

From that point on, anyone who had anything to do with those films were on our radar, and we aggressively sought out anything we could find starring, produced by, or even choreographed by them, and ate them up: Macabre and Safe Haven (from The Mo Brothers); Merantau (by Gareth Evans, starring Iko Uwais); we even geeked out when we learned that the guys from The Raid flicks would have a small scene in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

So it goes without saying that when we heard that Iko Uwais would be starring in the new Mo Brothers flick, that we were instantly on board. And while it might not be quite as good as The Raid flicks, Headshot is one hell of a fun ride that gave us our fix of Indonesian ass-kicking.

After a nefarious crime boss, Mr. Lee, makes a bloody and ingenious escape from prison, we see the body of a man washing ashore on a small island in Indonesia, after being shoot in the head. Are the two events connected? Obviously. The unconscious man is taken to a local hospital where he's cared for by the beautiful med student, Ailin, who for some reason sleeps in his room and reads to him. Maybe she's lonely, and a guy in a coma just fits the bill, you know?

OR MAYBE THIS KIND OF SHIT IS JUST PART OF NORMAL, EVERYDAY LIFE IN INDONESIA.

When he wakes up, he remembers very little about who he is, or how he came to be shot in the head and dumped in the sea. Calling himself Ishmael, he and Ailin become fast friends, taking long walks together, and maybe even falling in love.

OR MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO STEAL HER PHONE.

Word spreads about the new man with a head wound, eventually getting back to Mr. Lee, which sends him into a fury. You see, Ishmael was his student, and it was Mr. Lee and his gang of elite assassins who shot him and dumped him into the sea to begin with, and just knowing that he's still alive means that they've got to find him, and finish the job that they thought they had finished.

Good luck with that.

SORRY DUDE, HE'S MADE OF IRON!

Sure, the movie gets a bit repetitive, what with it being mainly Iko Uwais beating the living shit out of people over and over again, but it's such a brutal, fantastic spectacle to behold, that who cares if it's repetitive? Should you get mad when there are too many sex scenes in a porno flick? No, because that's why you're watching a porno flick. Same goes for martial arts flicks like this; yes, we want a good story, likable heroes, and intense villains, but what we really want are fight scenes. Lots of brutal, kinetic, flashy, insane fight scenes.

And that is exactly why Headshot is so great, because it gives us nothing but that. The fight scenes in this movie are so beautifully choreographed that any of them could the final showdown in any number of action flicks, and it's filled with them.

Iko Uwais is a special talent. He's kind of got these boyish good looks that make him come off as really likable, and then he unleashes a barrage of Pencak Silat moves on demand, which makes him seem formidable and deadly. Because he is. He's a treat to watch, to the point where J.J. Abrams decided to "get the guys from The Raid movies" to be in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, just because he loved what they do so much. He just makes for a good everyday-man kind of hero, and he makes me wonder just how many people like him in Indonesia could lay a brutal ass-whipping on someone if they wanted to.

MR. LEE AIN'T NO SLOUCH IN THE ASS-KICKING DEPARTMENT EITHER.

As per the usual with recent Indonesian martial arts flicks, Headshot is an unflinchingly brutal movie, full of fights-to-the-death galore.

OH, THERE IS PLENTY OF PAIN!

No sexy time in this one, only fighting.

JULIE ESTELLE IS ALWAYS SEXY THOUGH.

There are lots of great scenes throughout this one, but the opening fight in the prison was my fave. That firefight!

LIKE THE HALLWAY SCENE FROM OLDBOY, BUT WITH GUNS. SO IT'S OVER WAY QUICKER.

I gave Headshot a B+ because I loved every minute of it, even though I should have been more critical of its shortcomings. Any movie that can make me look past its bad points because it's so much damn fun, deserves a good grade. As an individual film, minus the bump for my personal enjoyment, it's probably more of a C+ affair.

If you liked The Raid movies though, then there's no reason that you won't dig this one just about as much, even if it's not quite up to par with them.

B+

Headshot is available now on VOD.

There's something intriguing about a beautiful woman who can kick your ass, and Julie Estelle is that woman. We're not messing with Chelsea Islan either.

Theatrical Review: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017)

"It's better than RE: Apocalypse. There's that."

(aka It's Finally Over.)
Release Date: In Theaters now.
Rating: R
Country: USA, Canada, Germany.
Written and Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson.
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Iain Glen, Ali Larter, Shawn Roberts, and Ruby Rose.

The Resident Evil Series has been an uneven one at very best. The first one (review HERE) was a fun zombie/action flick that could have been better, but entertained the hell out of us, even on repeat viewings.

The second movie sucked, and we like to pretend it doesn't exist.

Sequels like Extinction, Afterlife, and Retribution (Review HERE) got the series back on a good track and delivered all kinds of cool action, but little else, which became par for the course for the series. That's alright though, because we like big and stupid fun, and at times, we actually need it. 

The Resident Evil series exists to showcase Milla Jovovich kicking the ass of Zombie hordes, period. As movies, they're mostly kinda silly and there's basically no plot to them, but that's all by design; they've always played like Video Game levels to me, where you get some info at the start, work your way through a bunch of enemies, face the boss, and then prepare for the next level. 


And now we've arrived at The Final Chapter of the series, which we don't believe, because that's just not how Hollywood works, that the series closes out on a disappointing note.

Weeks after the events of RE: Retribution (which we honestly don't remember), Alice wakes up in the ruins of the White House (I see what they did there), and is attacked by a bat. Then, The Red Queen shows up on an old TV, and tells Alice that there's an airborne antivirus to the T-Virus in The Hive in Raccoon City that could save what's left of humanity, but she only has 48 hours to get there and release it, or all is lost. She also has a secret to tell Alice, but she's making her wait until the end of the movie to find out what it is.

ALRIGHT, MAYBE IT'S A DRAGON.

On the Post Apocalyptic road to Raccoon City, Alice discovers that Dr. Isaacs is still alive, and she runs into a gang of survivors ran by her old pal, Claire Redfield, who is also still alive. With Isaacs and his men, and three massive hordes of zombies on their tails, the gang enters the hive, where the antivirus, Wesker, and a stunning secret await them.

You've seen it all 5 times before this, so you know how it all plays out.

RUN, ALICE, RUN!

Sad as it is to say it, RE: TFC feels more like another typical entry in the series than it does any sort of finale. I mean, we weren't exactly expecting the world from this movie, because this series is what it is, but couldn't they have come up with something more... grand?

As it stands, there's a lot of action to be had here, with fights galore against evil humans and monsters alike, and if that's your thing, then it should please you. If nothing else, this movie is visually captivating.

This movie, and this series, has always been a showcase for Milla Jovovich and her sexy, crazy acrobatics, poses, and one-liners. That's a really cool thing, because she's awesome, and it's nice to see a girl of her talents be the focus of an action series like this. She's as good as she ever was in this one, and at almost 40 years old, she still looks and pulls off her stunts like she's in her 20's. With this series, she's given us one hell of a heroine in Alice, and she has easily earned her place in the hallowed halls of the Horror hall of fame by doing so.

Thanks, Milla, you rock. 

Iain Glen was his usual awesome self in this one, even though his character(s) aren't given anything of substance to work with. And of course we can't forget Ali Larter, who is still as hot as she always was, and she kicks her own brand of ass.

CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO APPRECIATE HOW HOT ALI LARTER STILL IS?

The editing in this one is quick-cut and choppy, to the point where it confuses what we saw as it was happening. Given that this movie is packed full of action scenes, that made it a tough watch at times.

MILLA UNCHAINED.

What was with that twist at the end? Was it supposed to be shocking? This franchise has switched gears so much over six movies, that it had very little impact on us at all. Had they made this "reveal" in part three, and had it lead up to Alice's final mission in this one, it would have made it far more impactful.

YOU COULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER!

There's plenty of violence throughout this one, but it's not a very gory movie, per se. Standard fare for the RE series.

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

Nope. No one gets laid in a Post-Zombie world.

THE SHOWER SCENE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN... AND YOU KNOW THEY ALL NEED A SHOWER.

I know that the little wink that Alice gives the camera at the end of the movie means that she's still ready to kick some ass, but it's time to let this franchise rest. Also, Milla Jovovich has proven herself to be an ass-kicker of the highest order with the RE series, and we love her.

YEAH, WE'RE TIRED TOO, MILLA.

As a movie on its own, RE: TFC is not a very good one. It's not terrible, but they could have sent Milla out in better fashion than they did here. Resident Evil has been a fun, if hollow and imperfect, movie series, and as much as we've enjoyed its over the top craziness at times, we're glad that it's over.

Check it out in theaters if you must, but you should probably wait until it hits the VOD circuit, and go see something more worthy of your time and money.

D+

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is in theaters now.

Milla, Ali, Ruby Rose, and Rola.