Theatrical Review: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

"The best Avengers movie yet."

(aka Avengers 3)
Release Date: May 6th.
Country: USA.
Rating: PG-13.
Written by: Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeeley.
Directed by: The Russo Brothers.
Starring: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie, Chadwick Boseman, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, and 90 other damn people whom we are not going to list here.

We grew up reading Marvel Comics, and so we're pretty happy campers when it comes to the movies that Marvel Films has been releasing since the first Iron Man.

They're not all perfect, and some of them (like Iron Man 2 or Thor 2) we can absolutely do without, but for the most part, they're big and fun, and we're always down to see what they're going to do next.

With Civil War, Marvel once again shows how to do a big ensemble Comic Book flick the right way, and not muck it up by trying to cramming too much into to little space, and doing so haphazardly. Yes, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of They Should Have Taken Their Time to Build a Universe the Right Way, we're looking at you.

Long story short...

Everyone thinks that Bucky is evil, because he's an assassin, so they're out to get him, But Captain America isn't having it. The Government also thinks that The Avengers are a bunch of loose cannons who need to be reigned in, even though they've saved the world from certain doom twice now. They did destroy a ton of shit while saving the world, and plenty of people died in the fallout, so Uncle Sam may have a point.

The Secretary of State presents the team with The Sokovia Accords; a document that would allow the U.N. to control what the team does, and when, and tells them to sign it, or retire. As you'd expect, this splits the team down the middle, which causes a... Civil War!

There's also a guy named Zemo who is upset about his wife dying during The Avengers mission in Sokovia, so he's out to break the team apart from the inside, because, feelings.

Plenty of "Avengers, disassemble!" ensues.

THE GOOD GUYS.

Like the previous two Captain America movies, Civil War moves its compelling story along at a great pace, using plenty of action and even sentimentality to get the job done. It was fun as hell, and another solid entry in the Captain America Trilogy, which might be the best Comic Book trilogy of them all. That's debatable.

If you already love the Marvel movies, and especially their characters, then you'll most likely love them here as well. Tony Stark is his usual, tortured and snarky self; Cap is his usual righteous, heroic self; Black Widow and Scarlett Witch are bad-ass; and even the "bit" players like Falcon, War Machine, and Hawkeye (we say bit because they're either limited in screen time, or stick to the background more than the others), all do their thing in perfect form. 

As for what we loved the most about this movie...

• Black Panther was awesome to the point where he almost made the movie by himself. Chadwick Boseman was the perfect choice to play T'Challa, and it really sucks that we have to wait until 2018 to see his solo movie. The guy ruled every scene he was in. 
• Ant-Man, when the focus was on him, also kicked some major ass. I won't ruin his best moment, because it was really awesome, and you deserve to see it happen unspoiled, but damn it if I didn't pump my Fanboy fist in the air when it went down.
• Everything about Spider-Man was kick ass. Tom Holland is the perfect teenage Peter Parker, and although he wasn't in a ton of the movie, he stole the show when he was. Again, we can't wait to see his Marvel-produced solo flick.
• The Scarlet Witch got to show of her goods too, and we finally get to see her as the powerhouse that she is. In the comics, her powers know almost no limits, and it was cool to see a hint of what she can do in this one.
• The entire airport scene was exactly what every Comic Book flick needs. It was excellent.

THE OTHER GOOD GUYS.

Vision was hugely underpowered in this one. With the Mind Gem embedded in his head, he could have pretty much wiped everyone other than Scarlett Witch out, with little effort... which is probably why they held him in check and made him her babysitter instead of putting him into the action too much. I just really want to see him let loose. Probably in Infinity War i & II.

The didn't really do much with Crossbones either, which sucks because he's a cool villain, and Frank Grillo rocks.

Also, no Hulk kinda sucked.

HOPEFULLY HE'LL GET SOME MORE SCREEN TIME IN ANOTHER FLICK.

They could have done more with Baron Zemo. He was a great villain in the comics, but came off as kind of an average guy with a lame-ass reason for revenge in the movie.

ALSO, THE WINTER SOLDIER HAS ALWAYS SEEMED KINDA BLAH TO US.

There's plenty of fighting and violence throughout this one, but nothing very gory.

POOR RHODEY.

Nope. Only PG-13 material in this one.

YES, THIS PICTURE IS FROM THE WINTER SOLDIER, BUT IT'S PERFECT, SO DEAL WITH IT.

The Black Panther movie is going to rule. Same goes for Spidey.

T'CHALLA!

Yep, we're Fanboys at heart, and Captain America: Civil War thrilled the hell out of us. Is it the best Comic Book movie ever made? I don't know. Maybe. Probably not. It is an excellent flick though, and it's a way better Avengers movie that Age of Ultron was.

You pretty much already know if you're going to dig this one or not, so act accordingly. 

A

Captain America: Civil War is in theaters now. Go see it.

Yay, we've got a reason to post some pictures of Scarlett Johansson, Elizabeth Olsen, and Emily VanCamp!

Theatrical Review: Deadpool (2016)

"The Merc With A Mouth has arrived, and Superhero flicks will never be the same."

(aka Awesomepool.)
Release Date: February 12th.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick.
Directed by: Tim Miller.
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, T.J. Miller, Ed Skrein, Brianna Hildebrand, and Gina Carano.

THIS REVIEW IS RATED-R FOR LANGUAGE, BECAUSE WE USE THE F-WORD LIKE 3 TIMES. WE'RE EDGY LIKE THAT.

Deadpool has always been one of the best characters in Marvel's arsenal. He's foul-mouthed, deadly, and is constantly breaking the 4th wall, which always made him one of our favorite characters to read. When we heard that Marvel was making a Deadpool movie, we assumed that it would be a nightmare, because he's just too R-rated for mainstream success, not to mention Fox's track record for Superhero movies isn't that great. Fantastic Four, anybody?

We like most of the PG-13 Marvel and DC movies that have been released since 2000. Movies like The Avengers; both Captain America movies; Guardians of the Galaxy; Ant-Man; the Christopher Nolan Batman films; the first Iron Man; and even Man of Steel were all great fun.

The rest of them have all been a mix of decent, average, or just plain bad.

Point is, that between now and 2020, there are 26 Comic Book movies that will hit theaters. It's a big thing, and it looks like they're here to stay.

Marvel is great, but they're owned by Disney, so their product is usually going to be family-friendly, and geared towards merchandising. That's fine and all, but as an adult, I would like a few adult-oriented movies thrown into the mix every now and then. Some of our favorite Comic Book flicks push boundaries; Dredd, The Losers; Blade; Kick-Ass; 300; Sin City; The Crow; V For Vendetta; Kingsman; The Watchmen; the Marvel shows on Netflix; and the Punisher flicks are all from that darker side of the fence, and have all been pretty entertaining. Granted, most of those "harder" titles have come from more obscure Graphic Novels, and not massive Marvel or DC properties, but they had great stories, cool anti-heroes, and they were massively entertaining. 

Now we have Deadpool, which may not be the first R-rated Comic Book flick, but it certainly is the highest profile one. Wade Wilson's Hard-R antics are not only paying off HUGE at the Box Office, but are already prompting studios to want bigger R-rated properties of their own. DC announced that the upcoming Batman vs. Superman will have an R-rated cut when it hits Blu-ray, and Fox is talking about making the final Wolverine movie Rated-R in general.

Deadpool has changed the game, and as entertaining as it was, we're fine with that.

BEST NICHOLAS SPARKS MOVIE EVER.

Wade Wilson is a ruthless mercenary with a foul mouth and a heart of gold. Sure, he'll steal from anyone, and he likes to hurt people, but he's also a sweetheart who helps those in need. He's got a snarky best friend, and a hot girlfriend too, so really, he's living the dream... until he's diagnosed with cancer, and told that he's going to die.

POOR BASTARD.

Wilson is approached by a skeevy government guy who offers to cure his cancer if he'll undergo a secret procedure, which sounds legit, and can't possibly go wrong. He's given a serum which is supposed to awaken his latent mutant abilities, which it does; he gains a super-human healing factor that destroys his cancer. At the same time though, his cancer gains the same "healing factor" and he ends up looking like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.

"THANKS."

Wilson adopts the name Deadpool (for reasons), makes himself a red suit (so his enemies can't see him bleed), and swears revenge on those who disfigured him, even though they cured the cancer that was going to kill him in short order. With the help of X-Men's Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool jokes and quips his way to a high body count in hopes of winning back the heart of his true love, Vanessa.

Offensive hilarity ensues. 

BREAKING THAT 4TH WALL LIKE A CHAMP.

After the shitty, shitty job that Fox did with Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (I mean, how can you take a character whose nickname is The Merc with a Mouth, and sew his fucking mouth closed? Especially with Ryan Reynolds playing the part?), they have more than redeemed themselves with this Deadpool solo movie.

From beginning to end, Deadpool is nothing but crazy, hi-octane fun. There was far more humor present in this one than there was action, but who cares? There was action aplenty when there needed to be, and the point of Deadpool, and more specifically a Deadpool movie, is his witty banter anyhow... and there was no shortage of that whatsoever.

The baby hand, the Zamboni, his interactions with Big Al, fat Gandalf, the use of Angel of the Morning and Careless Whisper on the soundtrack, his interactions with Weasel, the post-credits scene... there was so much comic gold in Deadpool, that to list it all would almost be recalling the movie scene by scene.

THE PLACES THAT GLOVE HAS BEEN, AND HE'S STICKING IT IN HIS MOUTH?

The reason why Deadpool is such a great movie is this: it just doesn't give a fuck. In a day and age where you cant say anything even remotely off-color without offending someone and their precious, unique feelings, this movie holds nothing back in being as audacious an non politically correct as it can be. We also loved how the movie broke the 4th wall so much, and how fun and natural it felt when it did; Deadpool has always known that he's a fictional character, and for them to play him that way on-screen was a clever move.

Ryan Reynolds has always been funny as hell. Comedy just comes naturally to him, and with Deadpool he absolutely gets to let that ability shine. His supporting cast was great (especially the hilarious T.J. Miller, and the gorgeous Morena Baccarin), but he obviously makes this movie what it is. That's no slight on the script (which was great), or the direction (which was solid), but Reynolds is this movie.

Now, I'm not trying to make this movie sound perfect or anything, because it's not; it could have used a bit more action throughout, and the constant stream of puns and jokes didn't work 100% of the time (although I'd say about 90% worked.) It was good enough on most levels though that its flaws and shortcomings were barely noticeable. At least for us. 

WE ALSO LOVE HOW THEY FINALLY GAVE US A GOOD ON-SCREEN VERSION OF COLOSSUS.

Too many to list, but...

• "Hashtag driveby."
• "Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in?"
• "Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment - right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck."
• "Cancer is awful. It's like Yakov Smirnoff opening for the Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair."
• "(Mama June smells) Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss."

"DEAR EVERYONE WHO WAS OFFENDED BY THIS MOVIE: KISS MY RED MERCENARY ASS."

Fox is actually capable of making a Superhero movie that isn't mediocre, or just flat out sucks. Also, there are probably going to be a lot more R-Rated Superhero flicks now, and not all of them will be this good.

NO FILTER.

Deadpool is vulgar, nasty, and absolutely inappropriate, which is why it was such a fantastically enjoyable movie. With his great comic timing and presence, Ryan Reynolds owns the screen in the title role, and we can't wait to see more of his antics in the sequel... which there absolutely will be.

Deadpool may not be the hero that Marvel needs right now, but he's certainly one that fans like us deserve. And need. And want.

A

Deadpool is in theaters now. See it!

Brianna Hildebrand, Morena Baccarin, and Gina Carano are in this.