VOD Review: Midnighters (2017)

"A character-driven neo-noir that packs a twisty punch."

We love us a thrilling neo-noir, and ever since Starry Eyes (review HERE) we love us some Alex Essoe too. So the idea of Midnighters offering us both in one movie was just too good to resist.

We're not going to reveal too much about the plot below, because this is a movie that has some twists and reveals, and to do so would kinda kill the vibe of the whole thing, but I will say that Midnighters makes for a fun ride through noir country, even if there are a few bumps in the road along the way.

On the way home from a New Years Eve party, Jeff tries to get a little frisky with his wife Lindsey, taking his eyes from the road for just a few seconds, which ends with him hitting some poor sap walking down the middle of the road. Given that they're both drunk, they decide to take the body home, wait a few hours until they're sober, then report the tragic accident to the police.

YUPPIE PROBLEMS.

Of course that plan goes to hell for a number of reasons, which we wont go into here, because that would spoil the way the movie unfolds its mysteries and reveals, but suffice it to say that things get complicated due to marital issues, money, Lindsey's little sister showing up out of nowhere, and a creepy dude who knows too much about all of them.

WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT, WERE YOU?

Midnighters is one of those movies that showcase people making really stupid decisions that lead to disastrous results, which is typically the kind of movie that we hate. Accidentally killing someone and hiding the body instead of calling the police never seems like it's going to end well, and that type of plot line usually ends up making for a frustrating movie-watching experience for us.

With Midnighters though, director Julius Ramsay and screenwriter brother Alston have taken that trope, and made it fresh. It's still frustrating in general, but the fact that the danger that is closing in around the couple is one that would have still been present whether they made a bad decision or not, basically kills the whole "You should have called the cops!" argument. It also takes the movie in a twisty direction that we weren't expecting.

The movie has strong pace that keeps some of those frustrating moments from dragging it down, and the cast all turns in solid performances which make the whole thing even more compelling. Alex Essoe has been doing solid genre work for years now, and she continues her streak of quality work in quality films in this one. The real surprise for us was Perla Haney-Jardine who played troubled little sister Hannah; she played B.B. in Kill Bill Volume 2, and it looks like she's all grown up now, as have her acting abilities. They both stole the show in this one.

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN TIED UP AND TERRORIZED.

There are some genuinely uncomfortable moments of torture in this one, but it's not an overtly-bloody movie.

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PROPERLY HOLD A KNIFE.

Not that kind of flick.

THIS TRICKY BITCH RIGHT HERE...

Relationships are tough. Also, always call the Cops. Always!

WILL THEIR LOVE ENDURE?

Midnighters is a tense, effective thriller that may have you calling the characters dumbasses at times, but redeems their foolish actions by wrapping them in a story that you just can't help but get caught up in.

If you like a good neo-noir anchored by a solid cast, then give this one a go.

B

Midnighters is available now on VOD.

Alex Essoe and Perla Haney-Jardine.

VOD Review: Inside (2018)

"Tame, by comparison. Or even on its own."

In 2007, the directing duo of Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo gave us one of the best Horror movies of the new millennium with Inside (À l'intérieur).

Inside was a gory, bleak, extreme film that had us gripping our seats until the very end, and it left us feeling a bit dirty when all was said and done.

It's a modern day classic, to say the least.

This remake, however, is a watered-down disappointment that feels like it was made to appeal to a wider audience instead of actually being bold and making a statement. 

Sarah and her loving husband are expecting a baby, and they couldn't be happier. When a car accident claims the life of hubby, that happiness is ripped away from Sarah, and she's forced to face the future, and the impending birth of their child, all alone.

NOW, SHE'S JUST SAD. AND VERY PREGNANT.

Flash forward to Sarah at home, preparing for a lonely Christmas. When a shadowy woman knocks on her door in the middle of the night asking to use the phone, her Christmas is about to get a whole lot bloodier, because this woman wants her unborn baby for her own.

If you've seen the original, you know how the plot plays out. If not, go watch it now, and avoid all spoilers.

DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR, IT'S A TRICK!

As with the Martyrs remake, this Americanized retelling of the French classic Inside is lacking in many ways. Where as the original was an artistic gorefest that pushed boundaries and was soaked in nuance, this remake just feels like any other run-of-the-mill offering that hits VOD week after week these days, because that's exactly what it is.

It's a well-made little movie, but absent is the dread and the shocking visceral punch that made the original so memorable. That's extra disappointing given the fact that it's produced by Jaume Balagueró (the guy who brought us the [REC] series, and it's directed by Miguel Ángel Vivas (the guy who brought us Kidnapped.) With that kind of talent behind the camera, this remake should have been way better than it is.

Rachel Nichols does a solid job as the terrorized widow who is about to give birth and finds herself fighting for the the life of herself and her unborn child; and Laura Harring does an admirable job as The Woman who is bound and determined to cut the baby from her and make it her own, but in the case of the latter, her character doesn't ever really feel terrifying, like Beatrice Dalle's counterpart in the original. The problem is where the original played more on atmosphere, this remake humanizes the villain far too much, giving her way too many lines of dialogue that lessened the impact of the threat she posed.

And the ending... what in the hell were they thinking?

It's really hard for us to watch a remake like this and not compare it to the original. I know that every film should be judged on its own merit, but then, when a film's merit is shared with that of another, far superior film, how can we not judge it by comparison?

SORRY, RACHEL. WE KNOW YOU TRIED.

There's some gore on display here, but it all feels rather conventional, as opposed to shocking.

DON'T WORRY, NOTHING COMES OF THIS.

Nada.

WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY...

If this wasn't a remake of a beloved modern day classic, then it wouldn't be a bad movie at all. Because it isn't a bad movie. It is however a pallid remake of a movie that hit us like a gut punch back in 2008, and because it lacks the originals nuance and shock factor, it's thusly doomed to live in mediocre remake hell.

If you dig remakes though, and can view them on their own merit without needing to compare, then this movie may be worth a look for you.

C

Inside is available on VOD now.

Well, at least the movie's eye candy game was on point.

Review: Inside (A L'Interiéur) (2008)

*This is a repost of our review if Inside that we did 10 years ago (it's been that long?!?), to coincide with the release of its remake.

This is a story about the miracle of life; a sweet, young French chick (Alysson Paradis) is knocked-up and just about to give birth, while another French chick (Beatrice Dalle) really wants to help her deliver the baby, in any way she can... or maybe she just wants to take the baby for herself, and kill a bunch of people in the process. Either way, it's really all about love.

This is not love.

The bond between two women can be an immeasurable thing; it can be a special, and an often-times precious thing. When one of the women is pregnant and about to give birth, that bond ascends to a new level. The Police can't interfere with it, nor can a Mother or a Boss... they all just die horribly if they do. What can come between two friends though, and ultimately destroy an entire relationship, is a pair of fucking scissors.

"Friendship's over, bitch!"

I'd love to ruin what happens next (especially the ending) for you here, because then I could share my thoughts on what and how everything in this movie unfolds, but I don't want to spoil your fun. By fun, I mean disgust and terror.

Um, she can see you.

I'll be damned if this movie took any more than 30 seconds to make me cringe; the opening credits even made my stomach start to churn. From the absolute beginning, this movie had me feeling uneasy, and as it went on, the unease turned to shock and eventually to genuine terror. I don't know if I've ever seen a movie that was this viscerally violent and hauntingly creepy all at the same time.

To say that Inside is full of blood and gore is almost funny; it's jam-packed with the stuff, and to the point where I turned from the screen on more than one occasion. The gore, coupled with the terrifying atmosphere and tension of the movie, should mess with even the toughest of Horror fans.

Who knew scissors were so multi-functional?

The claustrophobic feel of the house (where most of the movie takes place) adds to the tension and the overwhelming feeling of dread brought on by the circumstances that our main character finds herself in. The colors were bleak, the shadows were plenty, and the ghost of creeping doom was around every corner. Oh, and the last shot of the movie is truly haunting, and won't likely be leaving my mind for some time to come.

Beatrice Dalle's performance as "The Woman" was nothing short of amazing. She was crazed, ominous, terrifying and eventually sympathetic in a very odd way, and she kicked my ass for the entire time she was on screen. There is a scene where she is trying to get through a door to have at Alysson Paradis... I'll just say that it didn't look like acting to me.

INSANE!

No... not the cat too!!!!

Poor Henri. All he wanted was some catnip, and maybe a hug.

Fuck me sideways, this movie is mean-spirited and a tough watch. That's all I've got to say.

This was pretty much our reaction during this movie.

Vomit. Blood spray. Pregnant stomach stabbing. Nut-sack gouging. Scissor/face dancing... And that's only by the halfway mark... and it only gets worse. I don't want to say too much and give away the plot, but this movie will definitely turn stomachs.

The half-way mark.

Unless you count pregnant bellies as nudity, then no nudity. There is a creepy make out scene though...

Not hot.

Drive careful, forget the fuse box and run, and don't watch French Horror flicks if you want to sleep later that night.

Fuck me sideways

If you're any kind of a self-respecting Horror fan, this one is a must own. Beautifully shot, directed, acted and drenched in buckets of blood,  this is a complete Horror film in every way.

A+

Inside is available now on DVD and VOD.

Ugly movies, pretty ladies.