DVD Review: A Serbian Film (2010)

"I dare you to watch this movie. No problem, because you can take it, right? Well if you really want to show me up, watch it with a date..."

Cast Members of Note- Srdjan Todorovic, Sergeij Trifunovic, Yelena Gavrilovic, Ana Sakic, and a ton of other "ovic's" Check IMDB if you think I'm being crass.... 7 people with "ovic" names!

Milos is the John Holmes of Serbia; he's the best Porn Star ever, satisfying women left and right, performing at the drop of a hat, popping on command, and doing all of that with an unbridled passion seldom seen in Serbian Porn. He's a professional folks. Also, he's hung like an infant bull, which can only help make him better at his job.

Look at that work ethic!

While doing his best to retire from the flesh business, some old whore he used to work with comes to him with a lucrative film offer, and he has no reason not to trust her. Sure, she does Animal Porn now, but she's a sweetheart, really. Vukmar, a Porn director with an artistic touch, wants to make a "specialized" movie with Milos, and pay him 50 million Drachma to star in it. Well, they don't really say how much he's being paid, and I'm pretty sure that Serbian currency has nothing to do with the Drachma, but it's A LOT of whatever money they do use. So, it sounds legit to me.

"I accept your offer!"

Once things get going, Milos is shot up with an industrial strength Bull Viagra, and set to snorking some hot chicks. He's also made to punch them, abuse them, and cut their heads off... and keep snorking them while he does so. Deciding that it's too mean, he tries to quit, but the Serbian Spielberg drugs him some more and makes him do some even nastier things, threatening to kill his family if he doesn't finish the film. I think. I don't know, I don't speak Serbian, but he looked like he was threatening them.

She obviously loves this, so just do it and don't feel so bad about it, Milos.

Will Milos finish the twisted film? Will Jeca ever get naked? Will I ever be able to get a boner again after watching this horribly perverted movie? I don't know about all of that, but suffice it to say that I may not be going to Heaven after sitting through this whole thing. Yes, I believe my soul is that tainted now.

If this scene doesn't taint you in some way, you may be an alien from a planet called Rape.

I'm not usually one for the extremely violent films. Guinea Pig, August Underground, Men Behind the Sun, and other films of their ilk, just aren't for me. I'm not a pussy or anything; I like watching shit like Martyrs, Inside, or Baby Blues, where I have to look away a few times during the movie and yell "Jesus Christ!" This movie though... I've never seen anything this well made that was so utterly disturbing, in all of my years of movie watching. I'm not trying to over-sell this thing, but man, it was really, really nasty business.

First off, the film is gorgeous. Cinematically, it's solid and well-made, and has the look of a glossy high-budget project. The acting was good too, as I truly felt for the protagonists, and truly, truly felt bad for the victims. Even the creepy, evil fuckers in this one were compelling in their own way.

As far as the meat of the movie, the Horror aspect of it all... well, I have to say this movie delivers. It delivers tons upon tons of nasty, bloody, sexual, visceral and disturbing acts of true Horror, and for most people I daresay it will be far past the point of good taste, if there is such a thing in the Horror genre. Most people who call themselves Horror fans will have no clue what they're getting themselves into here. Gorehounds on the other hand, will no doubt have a massive boner at watching what unfolds on screen.

Yes, this girl is as young as you think, and yes, they went there.

Listen up Porn world; it's sex, not art. Sure, you can make it all pretty, write a script (lol), film it in lush locations, and fill it with all of the exposition you want, but at the end of the day it's nothing more than fucking. I'm not a short-sighted person, and I'm all for high-concept ideas, but come on. You wanna make a statement? Then write a letter to your Congressman or something, but don' t try to preach to me or teach me something while I'm watching a girl take double anal from black midgets in "Ass Me No Questions Part 2: The Weeping Gaper" ...it just ruins my happy ending.

The message here is sex and brutality.

***HUGE SPOILERS*** Don't read this if you do not want important plot points spoiled for you.

As if the infant porn scene wasn't bad enough to behold, the last sequence in the movie truly had me reeling. Watching Milos fuck his son (the kid was about 6 or 7 I believe) in the ass, and seeing the blood flow so freely because it was so brutal, was too fucking much for me. The scene did its job, but good Lord it takes some balls to commit that to film, and an equally strong will to sit through it. I looked away for a good portion of it. That will be one scene that sticks in the dark recesses of my mind until the day I die, methinks.

This family is doomed.

Is it gory? Ha! It's basically Snuff Porn, and really I can't think of one nasty thing that was not in this movie... we even get to see a guy get stabbed in the brain through his eye socket with a rigid penis... Throw in beatings, rapes, pedophilia, necrophilia... Messy and nasty this one is.

A Serbian vibrator claims another victim.

The movie is about twisted Porn, so you know that there's bound to be boobs and butts abound. Most of it is mixed in with violence, liberally, but it's there in force, none the less. Unfortunately, some of it involves kids, so be warned.

The love scene.

"Baby, I'm gonna fuck you up." Truer words have never been spoken.

Serbia is a fucked up country. Also, never trust the arty director types... they're just not right in the brain.

Then again, neither are most porn stars.

Well-made, well-acted, bloody, nasty, and revolting, A Serbian Film hits the mark in a big way. Now, you may not like the mark it hits, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, but like it or not, the movie does what a good Horror flick is supposed to do; it horrifies its audience. Before you decide to watch it, you really need to understand that this movie is not for those with a weak stomach, the faint of heart, or anyone who is easily offended or disturbed. So basically, watch this movie at your own risk.

A

A Serbian Film is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

Poor little Ana Sakic... she's too cute to suffer like she did!