Netflix Review: What We Become (2016)

"Infection Apocalypse: Family Style."

When it comes to newer Euro Horror movies, like this one, for instance, I tend to dig them more than most of their American counterparts for some reason.

I don't know what it is that makes the average Euro Horror flick seem "better" than the average American effort, but I never feel the need to bash on them when they're lacking as much as I do the flicks that come out of the U.S.

Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe the average Euro genre movie is made with more love and skill. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know.

Whatever the reason is for my recent Euro Horror bias, What We Become is a movie that I really enjoyed a lot, even though I know that it's nothing new or exciting.

As a sudden viral sickness sweeps through their Danish town, a family of four must band together to face a sweeping viral contagion that threatens to destroy them all! Of course none of them make smart decisions at all, which is par for the course for this type of film, but hey, it's hard to keep your head as viral zombie apocalypse is unfolding all around you.

WHATEVER THOSE MASKED GUYS TELL YOU TO DO, DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!

Mom and Dad try their best to keep their kids safe, but with the government forcing them to stay in their house under penalty of death, and with strangers showing up to complicate matters in various ways, there's not much they can really do.

THEY'RE MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE INFECTED THAT ARE ROAMING THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

Son Gustav at least has the hot neighbor chick to keep him occupied. Sure, maybe he would spy on her from across the street while she was changing clothes, but it's basically the end of the world, so it's not like she's going to find a better boyfriend than him anyway. And then there's adorable daughter Maj and her damned rabbit, which you just know is going to make her do something stupid which will no doubt doom them all.

FORGET THE RABBIT, KID. STAY INSIDE!

What We Become was a solid infected flick that felt a lot like the AMC show, Fear the Walking Dead in that it shows us the start of the "Zombie Apocalypse" by way of the plight of an everyday ordinary family, and their neighbors who must band together to survive. It's more of a containment movie really, as most of it involves a mysterious sickness sweeping through town, the military moving in and quarantining everyone, and then everything going to hell in a hand basket from there.

It's well-made, and it has some pretty intense infected thrills, but they come a bit too late in the movie to make it truly exciting overall. It really felt like just as the movie got going, it ended. And that ending was a fairly bleak one, with a final shot that left us wanting to see more.

SHE'S HAD BETTER DAYS.

You get some typical Infected messiness throughout this one, but it's not overtly gory.

THAT INFECTED DUDE KINDA LOOKS LIKE JOHN SNOW.

No nudity in this one, but Marie Hammer Boda sure does look good in her skivvies.

SASSY.

For a newer Infected flick, What We Become is a solid little effort that gets a lot right, even if it does little more than re-tread familiar ground. It's like eating a decent pizza even though you know that you've had better; it's still pretty tasty, because it's pizza, and you like pizza. So, yum. But you've had better.

It's well worth your time to watch this one if you've got Netflix, and if not, then you could do way worse than to rent it or buy the Blu-ray, if you need an infected fix.

B

What We Become is available now on VOD and Blu-ray.

Marie Hammer Boda is in this. She's kinda like the Danish Anna Paquin.

VOD Review: The Neon Demon (2016)

"Nicolas Winding Refn is back on the right track."

(aka Evil Little Girls.)
Release Date: August 30.
Country: USA
Rating: R
Written by: Nicolas Winding Refn, Mary Laws, and Polly Stenham.
Directed by: Nicolas Winding Refn.
Starring: Elle Fanning, Jena Malone, Bella Heathcote, Abbey Lee, Keanu Reeves, and Christina Hendricks.

I really love Nicolas Winding Refn as a filmmaker. Drive is easily one of my favorite movies of the last 10 years; Valhalla Rising is a mesmerizing, haunting piece of work; and Bronson was just flat-out cool. Only God Forgives felt way too overindulgent and pretentious to me, as if Refn bought into his being hailed as a unique, visionary artist way too much. To me, he's a director like Terrence Malick in that he makes the kind of slow, atmospheric movies that he wants to, and he doesn't care if anyone likes them or not. He's got something to say, and he's going to say it exactly how he wants to.

That's both good and bad to me, as his movies are unique, visually stunning, and they most definitely push boundaries. They can also alienate viewers with their oddity, and above all else, the way that he uses sex and violence to get his point across. So, good and bad.

The Neon Demon is his most accessible film since Drive. It's also his most controversial, and depending on your taste in art, maybe even his best.

Nah, that's still Drive. 

Jesse is 16-years-old and gorgeous, and even though she's sweet, young, and naive, she moves to L.A. to pursue her dream of being a model. She signs with an agency who doesn't care that she's a parentless minor, and it's not long before she starts drawing the eye of everyone in the industry's hottest players, and lands a job. A job in which her naked body is painted up in gold by some skeezy photographer. 

SURE SHE'S ONLY 16, BUT IT'S ART.

Jesse makes quick friends with Ruby; the makeup artist with a heart of gold, who also happens to be a rapey pedophile who really, really wants to sex her up.  Ruby tries her best to help Jesse navigate the shark-infested waters of the modeling world, and to keep her safe from the likes of Gigi and Sarah, two fellow models who hate the fresh new face on the scene, and want to destroy her.

THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE...

As Jesse gets more and more popular, and her ego grows to match her profile, things become extremely dire for her; everyone either wants a piece of her, or wants to break her down. I won't say anything else about the plot here to avoid spoiling it for you, but suffice it to say that it's a model-eat-model world out there, and fresh young ingenues lie Jesse really don't stand a chance. Unless they're dangerous themselves...

DON'T ACCEPT THOSE FLOWERS!

The Neon Demon is a meditation of feminine beauty. Or maybe it's about how women can be so obsessive over their looks. Or maybe it's about empty, shallow people who have nothing to offer the world but their beauty, and how there are always people out there who are happy to exploit that beauty. It's also the story of a beautiful young girl who is hated by her peers, because she makes them feel less wanted. And cannibalism. Possibly witches.

It's basically about fucked up people.

This movie is not going to be for everybody, and if someone said to me "This movie was a piece of shit and I hated it!" I would completely understand. It's sleazy, disturbing, and at times it feels like little more than an excuse for Winding Refn to jerk himself off, both artistically, and literally. There's a subtle beauty to the film though, as Refn and crew don't waste one single shot, and they certainly take their time setting the tone with each scene. Subject matter aside, it's a truly gorgeous film to behold.

DEFINITELY GOT A SUSPIRIA VIBE FROM THIS ONE AT TIMES.

As far as the subject matter goes, it's definitely an examination of the psyches of gorgeous models, and those who surround them. The girls are messed up enough with their shallow, vapid, empty world views, and it's interesting to see how they chew up and spit out everyone around them in pursuit of fame and adoration. The people around them are just as debased; some want to exploit their beauty, and some want to possess it. Some want to rape it. It's a creepy world out there for beautiful girls, even if sometimes they are their own worst enemy.

We started this movie thinking that it was about Elle Fanning's character. She's sweet and naive, and we just knew that she was in trouble. Then after a while, it felt like it was all about Jena Malone, and her predatory motives and disturbing habits. Then we were pretty sure that it had been about Bella Heathcote and Abbey Lee's characters all along. The movie shifts gears, sometimes unexpectedly, and at the very least, that kept things fresh and unpredictable.

The cast all did a great job in this one, as the usually likable young lades who played the leads all managed to make us despise them equally. If there's one standout to us though, it's got to be Jena Malone. Her character arc surprised us, and she managed to skeeve us out in a way that we haven't been in a long time. She really committed to her role, and it shows.

ALSO, THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE...

As with most of Winding Refn's movies, The Neon Demon is an exercise in style over substance. There's plenty of substance to be had here too, but it took a backseat to the stylish visuals at many times throughout the movie.

AND THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE TOO... THEY'RE ALL CRAZY!

Jena Malone, WTF are you doing?!? I asked that question out loud twice during this one.

SCREAM RAPE AND THEN RUN, GIRL!

Cannibalism, scissor violence, knife violence, attempted rape, flowing vagina blood, and that whole eyeball thing... this movie has plenty of gore and violence throughout, even if some of it is implied, rather than shown.

I'VE NEVER SEEN RED SOAP BEFORE. NEAT.

Abbey Lee and Bella Heathcote take a shower together; Elle Fanning is sexually-charged; Jena Malone does her best to seduce, and almost rape, a 16-year-old girl; and then there's that other Jena Malone scene... This movie oozes sexuality and dysfunction, and some of it is downright horrific. 

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT FIRST DATE MOVIE.

The Neon Demon is a very artsy film, so that means that there's going to be some great dialogue, as well as some lines that feel pretentious as hell. In context with the scenes that they come from though, these are the lines that stood out to us.

• "I need to get her out of me!"
• "I'm a ghost."
• "Room 214, it must be seen."
• "She was right. I am dangerous."

SHE JUST LOOKS EVIL.

The Neon Demon is an interesting movie that we could have easily hated, but somehow got us to really like it. Whether you will like it or not really depends on how you feel about Arthouse films; this is definitely a Horror movie, but it's also a very nuanced and visually-charged movie.

Rent accordingly. 

B+

The Neon Demon is available now on VOD, and will hit Blu-ray & DVD on September 27th.

The Neon Demon showcases some gorgeous women, even if they are all up to some pretty horrendous things. They've even got their own Horror Hottie post which you can check out right over HERE.

VOD Review: A Conspiracy of Faith (2016)

"The adventures of Carl Morck and Assad never disappoint."

Movies like this are why we love Scandi Thrillers so much.

The entire Department Q Trilogy has been a captivating, disturbing, and emotional journey to go on, and we're kind of sad to think that this may be the last entry for the story, and especially its characters. There are three more books in the series, but so far none of them are in development as films, and so we will hold out hope that every year or so they'll decide to give us a new adaptation to enjoy.

It's just a comfy, albeit disturbing world to explore for two hours, and we want more. 

After the events of The Absent One left him in an even more fragile mental state than usual, Carl Morck is on sick leave. The poor guy just gets closer and closer to cracking every day, and he's to the point now where he's so stressed out that he's even got the shakes. Lucky for him that his trusty partner Assad, along with their plucky assistant, Rose, are holding things down at Department Q while he's gone.

IN THIS SCENE, ASSAD SHOWS ROSE HIS FAVORITE PAGE FROM THE KAMA SUTRA. ROSE IS INTRIGUED.

When a message in a bottle washes up on the shore of a Jutland beach, Morck and Assad uncover a string of missing children that are somehow connected to a shadowy Religious Cult, which they immediately assume are Jehovah's Witnesses, because they are shadowy as fuck. We're pretty sure that it's got something to do with Pokemon Go too, but that's just a theory.

"QUICK KIDS, GET IN THE CAR... THERE'S A SQUIRTLE NEARBY!"

As always though, the truth is far more complicated than they first believe, and things get pretty dire and dark. Even Satanic. Will this be the case that finally breaks Carl Morck for good? Will Rose and Assad finally hook up? Will there ever be another movie in the Department Q series? Far be it from us to spoil anything for you here, but almost, no, and there had better be, or someone will pay!

"LOOK OUT, CARL!"

The thing about these movies is that at their core, they play pretty much like an episode of anything that bears the title of CSI or NCIS: they catch a case, there's some witty banter, things get hairy, and by the end, the killer is caught, and all is well. What keeps these movies from being as boring and routine as that type of lazy, predictable American crap though, are the lovable and complex characters, and the overall quality of storytelling that makes us genuinely care about them. Also, things get pretty disturbing and the story always seems to go to places that shake the audience up a bit, so that's a big difference too.

AND CAN WE JUST SAY THAT THE LOCATIONS ARE GORGEOUS? BECAUSE THEY ARE.

In A Conspiracy of Faith, the already hectic relationship between Assad and Morck is tested even further when Religion is brought into the picture. Where Assad is a man of faith, choosing to believe in something greater than himself, Carl doesn't believe in much of anything, and has no problem telling Assad what a fool he is because he does. The two are partners, and have become friends by this point, but that's mostly because Assad won't give up on Carl. It's ironic that the man's faith, that Carl decries at every turn, is the one thing that keeps their friendship going, and keeps the man from being totally alone and isolated. 

It's all really kind of beautiful, when you think about it.

Once again, the cast is fantastic in this one. Nikolaj Lie Kaas is more brooding and broken than ever as Carl Morck, and the man effortlessly pulled the emotion out of us with his performance. I can't believe that it took me three movies to realize that Fares Fares is also on a TV show called Tyrant that we watch every week. I'm usually quicker than that. In any case, it was great to see Assad become more of a forefront character in this one instead of just a loyal sidekick, which he kind of was in the first two movies.

ASSAD IS A RIDE OR DIE TYPE OF DUDE.

Some corpses, some stabbing, some gunshot wounds, and a particularly disturbing incident with some scissors... this one has its bloody moments.

I HOPE HE HAS SOME PEROXIDE.

There was a sex scene, but nothing salacious.

HANDS OFF THE KIDS, CREEPER!

The scene at the end in the church illustrates exactly why we've enjoyed these Department Q movies so much. We felt the emotion in a big way.

ALL THOSE FEELS.

We're so glad that we stumbled on this series of films, because they really satisfied the Scandi Noir fans inside of us. We're also really bummed because we've now watched all three of the films in the series, and have nothing new to discover in that world, at least on film. Maybe we can find some solace by reading the other three books for now...

As with its two predecessors, A Conspiracy of Faith is a solidly engaging movie that has some of the best characters that you'll likely find in films of this type, and if you haven't seen them yet, we say that you visit our VOD Release Dates Page, start at the beginning, and enjoy them all.

B+

A Conspiracy of Faith is available now on VOD.

The lovely ladies of A Conspiracy of Faith. More like A Conspiracy of Cuteness, am I right?