October 14, 2013

Hallows' Eve (2013)

It's hard to describe how truly bad this movie was over the course of a small movie review. To do so properly would require us to give a play by play of the entire movie, and if we're going to do that, then we may as well tell you to watch it so that you can just see for yourselves.

Keep in mind that this movie is one of two Horror flicks out there with the title Hallows' Eve; the other one has yet to see release, but it's still easy to get them confused.

This is the one with Danielle Harris, who must have owed somebody a big favor to have even wasted her time appearing in it.

A bunch of mean teenagers jump a little girl named Eve (who looks like she's about 8-years-old) in a cornfield, while she's pulling a wagon filled with pumpkins on the way to her pumpkin dumping ground? Anywho, they smash her pumpkins and throw their guts and seeds all over her, which prompts her to make a run for it. Of course they chase her, which ends with her being run over by a tractor driven by someone who I think was her dad?

Flash forward 10 years, where all of the mean kids have grown up to be mean and pointless adults who seem to do nothing but smoke weed by the pound, and fight about who's screwing who. Little Eve is all grown up too, having survived the tractor mangling which apparently only scarred up her cheek real bad.

Couldn't they have gotten her skin grafts or something?
When a few of the now mean adults peek through Eve's window and see her changing, she freaks out as if she's just witnessed her family being slaughtered, and it's not long before a shadowy figure begins to dispatch every member of the asshole crew that caused Eve's tragic accident, oh so long ago.

Who is killing the asshole crew? Will any of them survive? Why in the world was Danielle Harris in this movie? I don't honestly care what the answers to any of those questions are, and neither will you.

Eye guess she had that one coming.
Tiffany Shepis was pretty funny in her small role, and Ashley C. Williams was hot and sassy playing the bad girl. The movie had a pretty decent amount of gore in it too, most of which was pretty solid.

Bad girls make the world go 'round. True story.
Hallows' Eve was a mess. By the time we get to the "!0 years later" portion of the movie, we're not sure who most of the characters are, or what they're doing. In the opening scene, they all looked to be 14-15 years old, and yet they all seem to be in their early 30's when the movie jumps ahead.

The characters only exist in this script to smoke weed, get laid, and be bumped off. Now, you might be saying to yourself "but that's how it goes in Horror movies, dummy," which is true, but the lack of coherence on display here makes the normal by-the-numbers genre staples distracting.

The acting is pretty bad across the board, although a lot of the cast really tries, but in the end their efforts are done in by a truly bad and confused script.

And what was with the bit with the Mother showing up at the end? That plot point pretty much came out of nowhere, and really didn't make any sense. Then again with this movie, that's par for the course.

That little person on the left has a very distracting haircut.
"Well, you and your friend's parents weren't the nicest kids back then, okay?" That's an actual line from the movie, and it illustrates just how poorly executed the whole mess is.

Plenty of gore to go around in this one, and most of it was pretty well done. At one point, you could tell that a dummy was being used in place of an actress during a kill scene, and it made us laugh.

It actually looked pretty cool, but it was so cheesy that we had to laugh out loud.
 
There was some nudity in this one, including a cute brunette taking a bath, and a dream sequence sex scene.

There was no best line here... what do you think this is?

Danielle Harris needs to start being a bit more selective when picking her projects.

Selena Gomez?
This could have been a decent little B-grade slasher flick, if only the story would have made any sense whatsoever. Everything felt so jumbled, and it was all conveyed by such poor acting, that what was going on failed to matter about 10 minutes in.

If you absolutely have to see this movie, wait for it to hit Netflix or Cable, because  it's a really tough one to justify spending actual money one. Trust us. We know.

Not even the lovely presence of Danielle Harris, Tiffany Shepis, Ashley C. Williams and Courtney Baxter could save this one. They've all done much better work, and will no doubt do so again, just not this time.

19 comments :

  1. Its a bummer to read this review cuz I trust you guys when it comes to genre films for the most part, or at least more than any other genre sites... you guys have been dead on more often than not so its a bummer to hear that a horror film with Harris, Shepis and Williams in it is no good. Ive got the film, just havent watched it yet... Now Im not sure if im going to... like I said, I trust you guys. You probably shouldve noted though that the other Hallow's Eve film is actually titled "All Hallow's Eve" and I hope you guys review that one when you get it cuz Damien Leone has NOT disappointed so far in his short horror debuts in Terrorizer and The 9th Circle... and this is coming from a guy whos not a big fan of scary clown films... I should probably make an account on one of these so I dont have to keep commenting as "anonymous". Keep up the great work guys, im a huge fan of the site! -JJ

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  2. ok... my comments are no good for you.., you just lost a fan. -JJ

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  3. Alright JJ, you've confused us. One minute you like us, the next you don't. lol

    If it's because of the comments, we had a lot to moderate today, so it took us a bit longer. Your comments do matter to us, so relax and keep reading :)

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  4. Oh man... that was supposed to be a sarcastic joke, but looking at it, it totally looks like a dickhead comment... your site is on my daily agenda that goes along with reading my email, youtube, etc etc, so im not going anywhere! I live you guys and im anything but a dickhead... my sincere apologies... much respect. -JJ

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  5. Oh yeah, also... I still havent watched Hallows Eve, but last nite I watched another new Danielle Harris film titled Shiver and boy was I highly disappointed... She has the starring role and the premise seemed great, but it was a mess of a film that put Harris, Rae Dawn Chong and Casper Van Dien two steps back for me... I bet if you guys see this film, youll think Hallows Eve was better... I hope Harris does something really great here soon to rebound from this mess. (and im sure she will) Keep up the great work guys and Im not going anywhere...

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  6. Don't worry, JJ, it's all love. Truth be told, there's no way that you could ever be as big of a dickhead a sI am, so you're fine :)

    I (not we) watched Shiver last night... and I'm not going to review it because I really have nothing good to say about it. And yeah, Hallows' Eve was way better.

    Speaking of Danielle Harris, We've still got Among Friends and Terror at Echo Creek (or something) of hers to watch, and we're keeping our fingers crossed that one of them is good.



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  7. I havent seen Echos Creek yet, although I have it, but Among Friends I really enjoyed... I was expecting to not like it (not sure why) and was very impressed... I suspect you will too... looking forward to finding out. And Im told im a dickhead all the time... but I honestly wasnt trying to be on that comment... much respect.

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  8. I dont expect you to post this comment, but I dont know how else to contact you, but if you dont review Among Friends, can you tell me what you thought?? I really enjoyed it and im curious to hear what you thought... if you do review it, then just ignore this... thanks man. (retrodaze27@gmail.com)

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  9. Stiil working our way to Among Friends, JJ. We jsut finished Jug Head and Haunter, along with Carrie and a few other older Blu-rays, so it's coming... soon? lol

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  10. This may sound like a dumb question but who was Danielle Harris in this movie? What was her relationship to the characters? She has the same last name at Eve and Matthew. I get that Matthew is the dad so would that make her the mom? Idk this movie was just all over the place. And the fact that the kids in the opening scene have kids 10 years later that are idk in their teens or early 20s.

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  11. Pretty sure she was the older sister that ran for help at the beginning.

    Yeah, it was a big mess LOL

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  12. What the real name of Kerone`s girlfriend or the woman in the bathtub, anybody ??

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  13. As far as I can tell, the woman in the bathtub is Nicole Cinaglia, although some sites list her as Katie Griffith. The cast list on IMDB is impossible to make sense of, as are the characters in the movie, but it's one of those two names, and most likely Nicole.

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  14. man oh man the girl in the bathtub's boobs are sooo sexy, and so beautiful, so exotically beautiful like exotic fruits! wow, anyone else love her boobs a lot like I did?

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  15. Just to be clear, the woman in the bathtub is NOT Nicole Cinaglia, it is, in fact Katie Griffith as "Susan." Cinaglia played only a bit part as "Nurse." Similar face, but very different bodies.

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  16. I just watched this & I agree. If you can check it out on demand included in your cable package or something like that, it's worth a look. I wouldn't spend real money. It's all over the place.

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  17. I thought Matthew was the brother...no? Eve was calling out for Matthew in the beginning, not dad. This movie made no sense. Was the mother towards the end supposed to be apart of the teens that caused eve to get hurt??? What? Donna was her name and Donna was the name of one of the mean teens in the beginning. I wouldn't recommend anyone watch this.

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  18. I thought Matthew was the brother...no? Eve was calling out for Matthew in the beginning, not dad. This movie made no sense. Was the mother towards the end supposed to be apart of the teens that caused eve to get hurt??? What? Donna was her name and Donna was the name of one of the mean teens in the beginning. I wouldn't recommend anyone watch this.

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  19. This movie made no sense. Was Matthew not the brother she was calling out for in the beginning? Now people are saying he was the dad? The mother who showed up towards the end name was Donna that was one of the mean teens from the beginning, how is that even possible if this is only 10 yrs later? Wouldn't Donna be around 25 instead of a women in her 40s-50s with a 25 yr old daughter of her own? Grown Donna even says "they had nothing to do with this" once she seen her deceased kids. Whoever wrote this wanted to piss people off lol

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