October 11, 2013

31 Days of Millennium Hotties- The Girls of TCM (2003-2013)

Leatherface and the Sawyer Clan have been terrorizing wayward travelers since the 70's. That's four decades and seven films of chainsaw-wielding mayhem that fans of the series have happily endured (to varying degrees.)

As the series wore on, not only did the movies get gorier, but their hotness factor increased as well. Of course I'm talking about the series' leading (and supporting) ladies; most of whom were victims, a few of whom were Final Girls, all of whom were smoking hot.

Sweatiest cast ever.
It all started with the TCM remake in 2003; we personally loved the movie, and thought it was a competent remake, though plenty of fans thought it to be too polished and far too "Hollywood." One thing about the movie can't really be debated though is the quality of its Hotties.

Up until that point in her career, Jessica Biel was "the cute, sweet chick" on the cheesy TV show, 7th Heaven. With her turn in TCM 2003 though, she became a bonafide banger who never really went back to the sweet and innocent thing that she had going on, which landed her Justin Timberlake as a husband. 

Before the TCM remake, we knew Erica Leerhsen as the chick from Blair Witch 2. That really hasn't changed much, as she hasn't has the biggest of careers since, but we love her genre work, and she was great in TCM.

We'd be remiss if we didn't mention Lauren German's small, but important TCM 2003 role here; she played the young hitchhiker that survived the Sawyer family, only to end up blowing her own head off with a vagina gun. Sorry as we were to see her go, that scene was crazy good, and pretty messy.

"My eyes are up here, jerky."
If anything, TCM: The Beginning upped the Hottie ante of its predecessor, mainly due to the fact that Diora Baird has some of the best boobs ever. Seriously, the girl is a bombshell, and it's always our pleasure when she shows up in genre flicks, which is pretty often.

Oh yeah, this one also starred Jordana Brewster as the Final Girl, which was fine with us too. She's always been a fave of ours, and still is, even though she doesn't do many Horror flicks these days... something about being one of the stars of The Fast & Furious movies that make about a billion dollars each... so, understandable.

What's up with those bangs, tho?
Finally we have Texas Chainsaw 3D, which is the latest installment in the Leatherface Chronicles. It had its issues (to say the least), and it wasn't really all that great, but we found ourselves enjoying it none the less. What's the reason for such blasphemy, you ask?

Alexandra Daddario.

For me personally, as an individual (not someone repping the whole of THC here), I don't know if I've ever seen a more gorgeous human being than Alex Daddario. Most of that obviously comes down to personal preference and taste, but it's hard for me to believe that most people out there wouldn't think her to be stunning.

"Do your thing, cuz!" has become one of my favorite movie lines ever (even though it was insanely cheesy), thanks to that Daddario girl.

Don't sleep on Tania Raymonde, either; she's been adorable ever since L O S T, and now she's just getting downright sexy. Both girls made this movie WAY more enjoyable just for being in it.

That's what Horror Hotties do, you see; they make the unbearable more bearable.

Thanks for always having such good taste in women, Leatherface. We appreciate it.
Overall, the TCM films of the new Millennium were pretty solid (although the 2013 entry was by far the weakest), and all three of them have featured some stunningly hot girls for us to fret over.

Their beauty serves to distract us (at least a tiny bit) from the nastiness that befalls them, and for that, we are grateful.

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