Review: Shadow Puppets (2007)

Don't have much to say on this one, as it's slightly less than lukewarm...

Cast Members of Note- Jolene Blalock, James Marsters, Tony Todd and Natasha Alam.

Two people wake up in padded cells, wearing only their undies and having lost their memory; to make matters worse, the Smoke Monster from L O S T is on the loose, and it's hungry for underwear. It's not long before they realize that they're being held against their will in an underground lab of some sorts, along with six other scantily-clad people.

I definitely like the Hanes boy-shorts look.

When they decide to ...angry black guy attack! Holy shit, Candyman just came out of friggin' nowhere and kicked everyone's ass! Anyway, when they decide to explore the creepy lab in an effort to find a way out, they discover that they're screwed. Even the toughness of Candyman is no match for the scary shadows and Smoke Monster.

Set her free. Go ahead.

One by one they're picked off for some unknown reason, and they realize that someone amongst them is behind it all, for an even more unknown reason. Why are they there? Who is the traitor amongst them? Would a long, partner-swapping, group-sex scene save their lives? Who cares about the first two questions, I vote "yes" on the third one.

Is that Spike from Buffy? Times must be really tough...

A few scares, a fairly creepy setting, and a bunch of hot chicks, does not a good Horror movie make. Shadow Puppets is basically an edgier SyFy Channel movie, that will help you pass some time, but won't leave you with very much after you're done watching it. I did like some of the visuals, which manage to give off a pretty creepy vibe at times. The whole "I'm going down that staircase into the darkness, wait here" thing is in full effect in this one, and it works for the most part. The "scantily-clad chicks" thing works very well here too.

Yes, your clothes are missing.

This movie totally ripped off an idea for a game that I have; it's called "Escape From My Bedroom if You Can." It involves drinking, low self-esteem, and twisted curiosity. And leather restraints. I love this game, because I always win.

My room.

I don't know what's worse in this movie; the horrendous overacting or the dialogue. It's really so bad at some points, that I wasn't sure whether to cringe, laugh, or just fall asleep. SyFy material for sure.

That was pretty much our reaction.

Some shadow-impaling and other shadow-violence here and there, but there needed to be lots more of it.

She dead.

This movie is filled with cheesecake galore; girls wearing boy-shorts, tight tank tops (pokies included), and even some naked swimming, and then toweling off. Slowly.

"Yesterday, we were born. Today, we live." Yeah.

99% of hot women are Nymphomaniacs. Also, shadows are real scary.

Nympho.

 

Not a total miss, but certainly not all that good, Shadow Puppets at least gives us some hot chicks to look at. Some of it was decent enough, but for the most part the movie was nothing but poor acting and bad scripting. I can see some people digging this one, but I'm just not one of them.

D+

Look to the post below for more Hottie pics from Shadow Puppets.