July 26, 2009

Quick Review: Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

" A vampire named Saya, who is part of covert government agency that hunts and destroys demons in a post-WWII Japan, is inserted in a military school to discover which one of her classmates is a demon in disguise."

Wow, I can't believe what an awful, laughable, utter mess this movie is. If you see this, you will be angry for having wasted your time. If for some reason you like this, or think it good, then you're most likely slow in the brain.

This movie is just so bad that it makes me sad.

Love that top-notch CGI.
  • The acting is atrocious for the most part. Seriously unbelievable. Allison Miller was okay some of the time, but even she was bad. Onegen and the General were amongst the worst performances I've seen all year. Maybe ever.
  • The script is just ridiculous. Whoever wrote the dialogue should be ashamed of themselves, and everything that happened in this movie was just laughable. The schoolgirl sword fight was the low-light for me... and that's saying a lot.
  • The CGI blood and gore is horrible... is Karo Syrup and red dye too expensive to use in movies these days? I've never seen a worse blood effect in a movie. Ever.

She has the right idea.
Since there are so many movies that we verbally abuse after having to endure them (and for good reason), we thought it fair to come up with at least 5 things that were good or decent about the DO NOT WANT'S of the world. We will use pictures to illustrate said things. So here are 5 positive things about MOVIE NAME HERE:

That look.
Some of the visuals.
That hammer.
That dramatic tension!
At least Allison Miller is adorable, that's one good thing about this movie.

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