VOD Review: Cell (2016)

"This movie had so much potential..."

(aka Should Have Gone With T-Mobile.)
Release Date: June 10th.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Adam Alleca and Stephen King.
Directed by: Tod Williams.
Starring: John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Isabelle Fuhrman, Owen Teague, and Stacey Keach.

Having read the book by Stephen King, I went into Cell expecting certain things, and knowing that I just wasn't going to get what I wanted. I'm not delusional, I know that most books-turned movies fail to give book readers what they want in a movie version, but still, I had expectations.

And doubts.

As it turns out, it was my expectation of those doubts that were actually met. Did that even make any sense?

Clay Riddell is a Bostonian artist who just landed the biggest deal of his life; someone wants to make his Graphic Novel into the next big thing, kinda like AMC did with The Walking Dead. Having just returned from the meeting that is about to change his life, he calls his estranged wife to tell her the good news, and because he misses his kid.

ENJOY THAT LAST-EVER SNAPCHAT, BUDDY.

In the middle of the call though, his Cell dies, and while he's looking for a charger (in an airport), everyone around him who is on their phones turns into crazed, zombie-like maniacs, and start ripping each other to pieces. It seems as if someone broadcast a murderous signal over the global cellphone network, and thus the Tech Apocalypse has arrived.

TERRIFYING.

Wanting desperately to get to his wife and son, Clay teams up with a stand-up guy named Tom;  and a sweet, traumatized teenager named Alice; and together they set out to find his family, and maybe even stop whoever sent the signal to begin with.

This is not going to end for some of them.

WHY ARE THEY ALL STARING AT HER?

Cell is a movie that screams of production issues, poor editing, and of being rushed. That said, what's there is a actually pretty damned good... aside from that god-awful ending.

First off, the cast is great. John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson are great actors, and they're perfectly cast in this one. They had great chemistry, and they rocked their roles, as limited as they were. The true standout here though was Isabelle Fuhrman as Alice; in the books, Alice is lovable, and her storyline was the best part of the book for me, and Fuhrman does the character great justice in the movie. Again though, she wasn't given much space to "spread her wings" with Alice, which is a shame.

The Viral/Infected aspect of the movie was pretty cool. The "Phoners" are pretty creepy, and sometimes even terrifying, when they swarm on someone to rip them limb from limb. Especially when they do that creepy digital scream thing.

SHE DESERVES SOME BETTER ROLES.

This movie, like many of Stephen King's stories, would have worked way better as a mini-series. Perfectly, even. Hulu did it right when they made King's 11.22.63 into an 8-parter, and as good as some of Cell was, it could have been excellent had it been handled the same way.

The movie, clocking in at 97 minutes, just felt too rushed. The situation was suitably dire, and the characters were solid, but the story just moved along too quickly for it to be able to be as effective and emotionally impactful as it needed to be. Maybe it's because I read the book and know all of the things that they changed, skipped over, and rushed in order to fit it all into an hour-and-a-half-long movie, but it just didn't play like it could have.

SAM WAS ACES THOUGH.

WTF was with that ending? First off, it was completely different than the ending in the book, which is fine, but it was such a confused and cheesy mess, that it killed what little good credit the movie had built up over the previous 80-minutes. That last scene with John Cusack... the one that repeats, as if it wasn't bad enough the first time through... felt like something you'd see in the very worst Nic Cage movie.

What the shit?!?

EVEN THE CAT KNOWS.

There's a surprising amount of blood and gore in this one, and most of it was handled pretty well.

KILL 'EM ALL, JOHNNY!

Nope.

ALMOST, THOUGH...

You should definitely read the book first. Or maybe after. Either way, it makes for a good companion piece to the movie. And it's definitely better.

WHY?!?

Cell is one of those movies that makes us feel bad for it, because as choppy and rushed as it is, it could have been great with a bit more love and care. And running time. There's a lot of good stuff to be found in Cell, there's just not enough of it.

I say it's worth a rent, just temper your expectations a bit.  

C+

Cell is available on VOD now, before it hits theaters on July 8th.

The creepy little girl from Orphan is all grown up.