Release Date: May 13th.
Written by: Shayne Armstrong and Shane Krause.
Directed by: Greg McLean.
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell, Lucy Fry, Tara Lynn Barr, Paul Reiser, and Jennifer Morrison.
Having directed the Wolf Creek series and Rogue, and having produced moves like Red Hill and Crawlspace, it's safe to say that we're big fans of Aussie writer/director Greg McLean.
So the idea of him doing a Supernatural Thriller like The Darkness, especially when it stars a the always awesome Kevin Bacon, is one that makes us all kinds of excited. I mean, with that kind of talent on both sides of the camera, it's destined to be great, right?
|THOSE LOOK LIKE SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULDN'T EVER TOUCH. EVER.|
|GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, DEMONS.|
Not being scary is really the biggest sin that any Horror movie can commit, not counting Horror Comedies, of course. If you're going to make a movie that plays like every other Supernatural Thriller that's come along over the last 15 years, then it's at least got to be scary, or offer up some sort of visual terror that makes up for its lack of originality. If not, then what's the point?
Then again, this is Hollywood we're talking about here, and they don't make PG-13 Horror flicks like this to be good; they make them to test well with audiences, so that they can have a big opening weekend, and then shuffle them off to Blu-ray & VOD 2 months later. We should know better by now than to expect anything from these types of efforts, and yet we're always sucked in...
|IT'S AN ABUSIVE CYCLE THAT WE'RE IN.|
And that's really the problem with this movie: it never builds up any steam. Something scary or unusual happens, the characters freak out for a minute, and then in the next scene they're going for a jog or worrying about the grocery list or something... until the next scary thing happens, and they the cycle repeats. Worst of all, this movie doesn't even go through good motions over and over again.
|YOU KNEW WHAT THIS WAS.|
The Darkness is in theaters now.
*Not sure where this Ilza Rosario (bottom) came from, but we'd be fine with seeing more of her.