July 17, 2009

Reveiw: Coming Soon (2008)

Not bad at all, Thailand...

Cast Members of Note- Vorakarn Rojjanavatchra and Chantavit Danasevi. I dare you to say those names 5 times fast... or just try to say them at any speed.

Some creepy old bitch named Chaba is kidnapping children from her village and doing some messed up shit to them; stabbing them in their eyes, gouging their eyes out, flicking them in the eyes... she's got some serious issues, especially with eyes. The local villagers eventually catch up with her, beat her mercilessly, kick her in the neck, and hang her while they call her all sorts of names like "Creepy old bitch."

But wait... it's just a movie! Oh thank god, for a minute there, I was so scared for those poor little blind Thai kids... Then again, everyone at the theater who sees the movie becomes haunted by Chaba, and get their eyes fucked with, so I guess it's still pretty creepy. At least the kids are safe though.

She's not safe.
Shane and Som work at the Thai multiplex that's showing the only print of the movie, along with Som's brother, Dong. Both of them are trying to pirate the movie for Thai gangsters, while Shane just wants to get Som. See, the chicks name is Som, and she's hot, so he wants to get Som(e)... get it? Never mind.

When Dong disappears, along with co-workers Fong, Wing, Ping, PC Bang and Pete, all hell breaks loose, and it's a race against time to stop the evil of Chaba before it consumes them all. Something tells me that this isn't going to end well for anyone except Chaba.

Chaba, you old ho!
Ok, the beginning of this movie creeped me out to no end. To be honest, this whole movie was rather eerie, and filled with some pretty tense scenes, but that beginning scene... As jaded as I am, it's hard to creep me out (though it does happen on occasion), and though this one wasn't a total creepfest, it made me jump a few times.

I liked the movie-within-a-movie concept, as it worked pretty well here. I actually want to see the movie that the characters in the movie made. I've also read a few reviews on this flick which criticize the acting, and I don't understand that; with most foreign Horror movies, especially those of the Asian variety, simple Americans like me read the subtitles anyways, so it's not as if we notice bland acting so much (unless it's blatantly bad or goofy.)

Images like this helped.
I think I may be officially creeped out by Movie Theaters now. Really, as if they're not bad enough with the retarded assholes who text or talk on their phones, the annoying teens that never shut up because they're still mentally 12-years-old, or the genius Whiskey-Tango parents who bring really little kids to see horror movies, now I find out that they're most likely haunted too. Great.

DVD's can't be haunted, so I'm sticking with those.
If this movie does nothing else, it points out the evils of pirating movies; apparently the MPAA is so pissed about the issue, that they're sending creepy ghosts to kill would-be pirates. Now, I do think piracy is bad to a point, but murder? Come on MPAA... that's just harsh. Link anyone was really going to pay to see Land of the Lost anyways?

If Chaba doesn't get you, the MPAA will.
There's all kinds of gouged-out eyes and blood everywhere in this one. Not a gorefest, but definitely pleasing to my inner Gorehound, none the less.

That was disturbing.
No, Thai Horror flicks never have nudity! Why do Asian Horror movies show so little nudity? Honestly, get off of your high moral horse Asia, we want to see some hot Asian ass! And boobs.

Her name should be Yum.
"Creepy bitch, your kids were burned to death!"

Don't get involved with Movie Piracy, or you will die. Also, you will die painfully if you go to see Horror movies a Thai Theater. Maybe, just read a book. Seems safer.

There are evil ghosts hiding in your movie camera, pirates!
I liked this movie; it's a nice mix of creepy and bloody, and has a really hot Thai chick in it, so it worked for me. If you like Asian Horror, or even creepy little ghost movies, then definitely grab the DVD if it's out in your region.


I can't pronounce her name to save my life, but damn is she hot. Gorgeous even. Her nickname is apparently Punch, though, so that makes it a bit easier.

1 comment :

  1. This was one of the first films that really catapulted me into the A-Horror thing. I've pretty much given up on American horror, since it's Remakes Gone Wild and going to stay that way for a while, but if the rest of the A-Horror films I see are as good as this, making the transition from the big screen to the small won't be quite so bad.