Blu-ray Review: The Descent (2005)

(aka Subterranean Girl Drama.)
Release Date: July 8th, 2005.
Country: UK
Rating: NR
Written by: Neil Marshall.
Directed by: Neil Marshall.
Starring: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Saskia Mulder, MyAnna Buring, Alex Reid, and Nora-Jane Noone.

I'm not sure why we've never reviewed The Descent before now; after all, we reviewed the embarrassingly bad The Descent 2 (review HERE), so you figure that we would have at least take the time to review it's far-superior predecessor. It must have just slipped by us somehow.

After a white-water rafting trip in Scotland with her friends, Juno and Beth, Sarah and her family (hubby and daughter) are driving home, when hubby gets distracted (because he sucks at driving) and drifts into oncoming traffic, which leaves he and his daughter dead, and Sarah a traumatized mess. *For the record, one of her friends being a sneaky whore is the reason that they're dead.

GREAT FRIENDS YOU'VE GOT THERE, SARAH.

A year later, Juno gathers her friends together to go cave exploring in North Carolina, as a sort of reunion; She, Beth, Sam, and Rebecca haven't seen Sarah since the accident, so what better way to come together after a tragedy, than to delve deep into the Earth, exploring dangerous caves that were never meant to be explored by human beings? We can actually think of many ways, but this is just how the story goes, so on we go.

NOT OUR IDEA OF A PARTY, BUY HEY, DIFFERENT STROKES...

The girls descend into the underground cave system, and begin to explore, eager to discover moss, or whatever it is you discover when you explore underground caves. It's not long before Sarah's "larger than everyone else's" ass causes a tunnel to collapse behind them, leaving them trapped, and since Juno is a selfish, lying bitch, they have no idea how to get out, because they're not in the cave that they were supposed to be in to begin with.

Then, the blind mongoloidal crawlers come, fall upon them, and begin to eat them.

The claustrophobic battle to survive the crawlers and all sorts of girl drama has begun!

"IT'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, ISN'T IT?'

The thing that The Descent does really, really well, is establishing a sense of claustrophobic dread that ratchets up the tension to near unbearable levels. It's terrifying enough to see a group of people trapped far below the Earth's surface, trying to survive with limited supplies and quite possible no chance of ever escaping, but add to that a predatory, flesh-eating menace like the crawlers, and it becomes the perfect Horror movie setting.

The crawlers made for a pretty terrifying menace, although the movie really also gains a lot from the undercurrent of Psychological Horror that runs throughout; by the time the movie ends, there's a chance that some of (or everything) that we've just watched was nothing more than hallucinations that Sarah was having. Debate that back and forth all you like, but the one thing that can't be debated is that the way things play out is just about as effective as it gets in this type of movie.

THIS IS WHY WE DON'T EXPLORE UNDERGROUND CAVE SYSTEMS.

The all-female cast (aside from the brief bit with the husband at the beginning) did a great job at playing terrified. Some of them actually did a great job of making us like them too. Not Juno though. We did not like her at all. Shauna Macdonald made for a great Final Girl; she played Sarah's "descent" into madness perfectly, and was also a more than capable ass-kicker when it came time to get tough. *And that's not a spoiler, as you pretty much realize from the get-go that it's her movie, and that she'll live to fight at least until close to the end.

FINAL GIRL.

So was everything in Sarah's head, or did it all happen the way that we saw it? There are plenty of theories out there to support both ideas, but it's all ambiguous at best... especially with the ending that is found on the Unrated Original Cut.

We fall on the "most of it happened as we saw it" side, because there were scenes not involving Sarah where characters saw, acknowledged, and fought the crawlers. We do believe though that she was off of her meds, and that she did hallucinate a few things. Especially that ending scene.

WE MAY NEVER KNOW FOR SURE.

Juno was a horrible character who got all of her friends killed because of her stupid ego, and she makes us seethe. 

• She slept with Sarah's husband, which precipitated the accident which killed he and his daughter, and left Sarah a traumatized mess. 
• She organizes a cave exploring trip for her and her "extreme" friends, and she lies to them about where they're going. Instead of going to the safe place that they had planned on, she leads them to a "new system" of caves that has never before been explored, which kills any hope for rescue, because no one knows that they're there.
• When she's confronted about her lie, she gets all defensive, stating that the place that they were supposed to go was "A tourist trap" and how "We always said if there's no risk, there's no point!"
• "It's a new system. I wanted us all to discover it!"
• Then, not only has she basically doomed her friends to death, but she actually kills one of them herself. I know, I know "But that was an accident!" right? Yeah, well six people are dead because of her "accidents," so that's really no consolation.

Nice going, you stupid bitch.

PUNCH HER RIGHT IN THE MOUTH!

There's plenty of people being pierced by poles, eviscerated and eaten, stabbed in the throat, and being clawed, cut, and killed in general throughout this one. Plus, there's a pit full of blood.

YEAH, THERE'S NO SHORTAGE OF GORE IN THIS ONE.

Aside from the crawlers being "naked," and some of the girls being in their undies towards the beginning, this movie was nudity-free. Lots of subtext though.

OH, MYANNA, NOW YOU'RE JUST TEASING US.

Girls are shady, especially to each other. Also, cave exploring is for crazy people.

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! (WHICH IS ABOUT 90 MINUTES OR SO FROM NOW)

The Descent is one of those movies that we could pick apart if we were so inclined, as there's plenty about the movie that drove us nuts, but it would be disingenuous of us to do so. The bottom line is that even with its flaws, The Descent is a solidly-crafted, intense as hell, bloody, thrill-ride of a movie, and if tight spaces give you panic attacks, then this movie will mess with you from start to finish.

It really is one of the best Horror offerings to come out of the New Millennium, and one that every Horror fan should experience at least once... just make sure you see the Unrated Original Cut, as too much is left out of the regular version, specifically towards the end. 

A

The Descent is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

The lovely, spelunking women of The Descent.