VOD Review: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

For a movie that is supposedly the last in a franchise, especially one as hugely popular as Paranormal Activity has been, they sure ended things with a weak little whimper.

After the movie was over, more than one of us said that the review should contain only three words: "What the fuck?" When you see the movie, you'll understand why that's amusing, and also why it's also an apt way to describe the overall shenanigans that this movie pulled on us.

The Ghost Dimension has been delayed and re-scheduled over and over again since 2013...and now we understand why.

Soon after moving into a new house (we think), Ryan, his wife Emily, and their 7-year-old daughter Leila are getting ready to celebrate Christmas, when Ryan's brother, Uncle Pornstache moves in because he got dumped by his girlfriend. There's also a hot chick with magnificent sweater kittens named Skylar, who is there for some reason unknown to us, but we're just glad that she was around. *We might love her.

"UM, EXCUSE ME... BUT MY BOOBS ARE OVER HERE!"

When one of them notices that young Leila is talking to her imaginary friend named Toby, everyone thinks that it's real cute. Later, when Ryan and Uncle Porntstache find a box of old video tapes (which show young Kristi and Katie from the earlier PA films, way back in 1988), things start to get way less cute. There's also a Spirit Camera that has 6 picture tubes which allows them to see into what we're assuming is the Ghost Dimension or something.

THAT LOOKS EASY TO CONSTANTLY CARRY AROUND. NOT HEAVY AT ALL.

As things progress, little Leila becomes more and more withdrawn, and it becomes apparent that Toby is about to kill her family, so that he can use her blood to come into the real world. Why he's coming into the real world, we have no idea, because they never tell you. We also don't know why he didn't just prick her finger from the start, if all he needed was a drop of blood to pull of this "coming." It would have saved us about 90-minutes that we'll never get back if he had.

Lackluster familiarity ensues.

HEY LOOK! IT'S THE GHOST DIMENSION THAT WE NEVER GET TO SEE!

The Ghost Dimension had an interesting set-up going for it, the cast did an admirable job with their roles, and it had some great visuals and a few spooky moments, but it was such an overall mess that anything good about it was rendered all but inert about halfway through.

PLEASE MOVE YOUR HAIR, MISS!

Let's make a list of the things that irked us about this movie. BEWARE SPOILERS!:

• Here's yet another Found Footage movie that tries to tell us that people who are in mortal danger would still be filming everything, as if that's somehow supposed to be logical, or at times even possible.That old-assed camera must have weighed a good 20 lbs. or more, and yet everyone was happy carrying it around constantly... even when they were scrambling backwards down a hallway towards their screaming daughter's room? BACKWARDS!
• You're telling me that once you realize that a supernatural entity is out to "Get" your 7-year-old daughter in some way, that you'd really let her sleep alone in her bedroom for days after the fact? Or that you'd leave her alone anywhere in the house for more than 10 seconds at all? 
• To further the point of idiot characters doing idiot things... With supernatural events going on all around them, the characters would freak out for a minute, then go about their business like everything was alright. How in the hell could anyone sleep with that type of shit going on in their house, especially once one tiny little thing happened to their kid?
• The characters in this movie must have said "What the fuck?" about 40 times throughout. After a while, we laughed every time they did. 
• Also, jump scares are seldom a good thing, especially when you use too many of them like this movie did.  
• Also, where's Katie?!?
• ... and the biggest sin that this movie (which is the supposed last in the series) committed, was giving us a shit ending. Not only did we not get to see the Ghost Dimension at all, but to end it all with "He's here" and not show us what that means in any shape or form, was a joke.

OUR EYES GLAZED OVER JUST LIKE THAT DURING THIS ONE.

The writing in this movie was just lazy and problematic, and the story added very little to the PA name. We got the same old, ridiculous "film everything" aesthetic; the same spooky gags; the same vague explanations as to what in the hell has been going on in this series from the very start...

This movie just didn't add anything of value to the franchise.

It's a Part 6, so we weren't expecting a tour de force in filmmaking or anything, but for the love of all that is holy, what were they thinking? This is supposed to be the last installment of a hugely popular series, and it gave no closure, and no insight into much of anything.

I'm honestly not sure how it took 4 writers 2 years to write this script, and it still turned out so generic and uninspired... especially since two of those writers are the clever minds that gave us the much better supernatural Found Footage effort, The Taking of Deborah Logan.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension wasn't horribly bad, but it sure as hell was frustrating and pointless. And clunky. And messy.  Overall, it was an exercise in wasted potential.

OH YEAH, SHE'S ADORABLE... EXCEPT FOR THAT SUBTLE HINT OF MURDER IN HER EYES.

Horror Series' like this really need to stop churning out a new sequel every year or so. Also, Olivia Taylor Dudley is awesome, and a star on the rise.

DO NOT TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE RIGHT!

Tired, uninspired, and nearly the same damn movie as Paranormal Activity 3, The Ghost Dimension is not only a poor finish to a series that started out so good, but a poor installment period. It's not the worst in the series PA4 & The Marked Ones hold that distinction), but it certainly deserves to be considered for that dubious honor.

Just do yourself a favor and pretend that the Paranormal Activity franchise ended with PA3, and enjoy those movies when you need a good Found Footage-type of scare.

D+

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension is available now on VOD.

Olivia Taylor Dudley was one of the movie's bright spots.