I'm so tired of these "highbrow" Horror movies that try so hard to be some sort of clever indictment of the ills of society, that they never quite figure out how to be a good movie in the process.
How far up their own asses are the people that make this shit?
Celebutard culture in general, the self-named L.A. Slasher has had enough! He dresses in white suits, wears an androgynous mask, and goes around kidnapping, and then lecturing, the talentless dregs of Hollywood. Sometimes, he even stabs some of them to death. Not sure why he doesn't just kill them outright though; if you're going to do it, go big or stay home. No half measures, Mr. sexually ambiguous Serial Killer with the annoying voice of the sexually ambiguous Andy Dick!
Who cares. Honestly. WHO?!?
|YOU USED TO HAVE A CAREER, MISCHA. WHAT HAPPENED?|
It looks pretty enough, and there are some good ideas going on somewhere in there, but much like #Horror (and I hate to keep making that comparison), it just makes a total mess of things.
|IS SHE READING OFF OF CUE CARDS?|
|THIS IS HOW WE WISH WE HAD WATCHED THIS MOVIE.|
And honestly, how fear-inspiring is Andy Dick's whiny, nasally, twat-like voice supposed to be?
What in the hell was this movie doing?
We'll at least give the movie this: It had a killer soundtrack. We love 80's music, even at its cheesiest, and this movie gave us a solid fix of that.
|THEY LOOK AS CONFUSED AS WE ARE...|
If you want to see a movie that actually pulls off this exact conceit in an entertaining and effective way, then go check out God Bless America (read our review HERE), and avoid this piece of shit.
L.A. Slasher is available now on DVD and VOD.