The following movies are the ones that irked us the most in 2015; some because they underwhelmed, others because they were just unequivocally horrible. No matter the reason, they were painful to endure, and we're here to share that pain with you... hopefully so that you can avoid experiencing it for yourselves. We're humanitarians, you see.
*Be sure to read our reviews of each movie (when available), as they provide more in-depth reasoning as to why these movies were so painful to watch.
What a bunch of pretentious, faux-artsy, ridiculous shit this movie was. An exercise in style over substance, #Horror tried to be a socially-relevant indictment of Social Media culture, which I suppose it was at its core, but it was such a sloppy mess of a movie that we didn't really care all that much about what it was trying to say.
What a waste of good actors and overall potential.
The more we think about this one, the more it irks the hell out of us. As talented as Tyler Shields is, we're not sure what he thought he was doing with this movie. It says nothing, it does very little, and if it wasn't for the fact that its visuals were so pretty, it wouldn't have much reason to exist at all.
Abigail Breslin is way better than this.
If you've never seen a Horror movie before, this one might scare you in all the right ways. For anyone else though, it will most likely either make you laugh or cry. Or both.
Oh look, another Found Footage movie, and one that makes such a jumbled mess of its story, that we're still not even sure what it was really about. "A world-famous serial killing cannibal whose spirit returns to make people eat each other, so that he can be reborn through the pregnant chick of the group, so that he may live to kill again." Right.
Movies like this make us wish that the entire Found Footage sub-genre would just go away. Forever.
I get that cheesy, schlocky, B-grade Horror flicks like this need to exist; sometimes we need movies that are silly and fun, and sometimes, we need movies that are unintentionally so. Sometimes, we get movies like Gnome Alone that lack any sort of charm or wit, and that make us want to punch something while watching them.
This movie made us wish we were watching one of the Leprechaun movies instead, and that's not saying much at all.
|THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE: FULL SEQUENCE|
Where the first Human Centipede (as disgusting as it was) was a subversive treat, and the second one was a shameless splatter-fest that at least made an effort, this third and hopefully final entry in the series shows us that Tom Six has absolutely gone off the rails; as in he sucks at filmmaking, and is so far up his own ass with whatever it is that he's trying to do as an "artist" that we have to imagine that he's fucking with us on purpose.
What a horrible movie.
The more we see from Eli Roth, the more we question just how good of a filmmaker he really is. Knock Knock is a remake of a really obscure 70's flick, and as sexy as it was here and there, it wasn't really any better of a film. I could honestly say that the original, which wasn't very good at all, was better.
Watching Keanu Reeves try to act in this one was truly painful at times, and we really like the guy.
No movie this year, not even the abysmal Human Centipede 3, pissed us off as much as L.A. Slasher did. 80's Slasher movies, which this one was clearly on the dick of, at least knew how to entertain us, and gave us some great kill scenes and other visually gratuitous things to enjoy. This movie didn't really give us anything other than a headache though.
I'm almost positive that Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 had more going for it that this tripe did.
Bland, pedestrian, and devoid of any of the qualities that made the original such a great Haunted House flick, this Poltergeist remake is about as frightening as a kitten attacking a ball of yarn... and this movie should have been frightening, at the very least.
What a waste of time and energy.