VOD Review: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

2015 has been good to us as far as Horror Comedies go. What We Do in the Shadows, Deathgasm, The Final Girls, Cooties, Scouts Guide, Krampus... that's one hell of an enjoyable, funny crop of flicks.

Of course some of this year's Horror Comedies missed the mark completely. Movies like #Horror, L.A. Slasher, and the abysmal The Human Centipede 3 all made us cringe more than they did laugh.

Bloodsucking Freaks falls somewhere the middle of those two groups; it's not as good as most of the year's best, but it's also enjoyable enough so as not to be a total misfire.

Evan is a pathetic bastard who is down on his luck. Not only is he stuck in a dead-end office job, but his girlfriend just dumped him, and his boss has given the promotion that he's been hoping for to an old College nemesis of his. Now, that old College nemesis of his, who just so happens to be handsome and debonair, is not only his boss, but is out to bang his ex, who by the way is the office HR representative.

"YEAH, I'VE MISSED YOU TOO."

And then there's the little matter of his new boss being a vampire, and how he wants to create an office full of bloodsucking slaves... because he's really dedicated to to raising productivity, and apparently vampires are extremely efficient workers.

The type of wacky hi-jinks that you'd expect from a plot Ike that ensues.

THESE TWO WERE THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE.

In a year full of stellar Horror Comedies, Bloodsucking Bastards falls a bit short. It's reasonably funny in parts, and generally amusing the entire way through, but it just wasn't as funny as many of its 2015 Horror Comedy peer group. It felt just safe and pedestrian enough for us to enjoy it though, so no harm, no foul.

It's also a fairly bloody movie, at least towards the end. We wish that the vamp killing had started a bit earlier though.

THE RED VIPER AND FREDDY RUMSEN, TOGETHER AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME.

It's really the cast who make this one work as well as it did. Pedro Pascal and and Joel Murray were great as the bosses, but it was Joey Kern who brought most of the laughs to the proceedings. Now, you might not know his name off of the top of your head, but you'll definitely remember his face from Eli Roth's Cabin Fever. He's got great comedic timing, and he was easily our favorite character in Bloodsucking Bastards.

"WHO, ME?"

There's really not a lot of bad things to say about this movie, other than it was obviously lower-budget which may have hindered it a bit, and it wasn't exactly uproariously funny. You could also say that it took a while to get going, which it did, and that it could have benefited from a quicker pace and far more vampire screen time.

It wasn't bad overall, it just want as good as we had hoped it would be.

IT'S BEEN A ROUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE.

Vampires make for really well-organized and efficient office workers. Also, office romances are never a good idea.

ALRIGHT, IT'S BEEN A REALLY ROUGH DAY AT THE OFFICE.

Bloodsucking Bastards is a slightly above-average Horror Comedy that putzes around a little too much for its own good, but even with its imperfections, ended up being a movie that amused and entertained us. At least for the most part.

If you think that the trailer looks fun, then it's probably worth renting. If not, it will probably be on Netflix soon enough, so you can just catch it there. Either way, it's not a bad way to kill 90 minutes.

C+

Bloodsucking Bastards is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

Don't you dare call Emma Fitzpatrick and Yvette Yates bloodsucking bastards, because they're ladies!