VOD Review: The Black Room (2017)

"I'm pretty sure this movie is supposed to be a Horror Comedy, but I can't tell."

I'm not really sure how you mix Comedy into a Horror story about an Incubus who molests and rapes women to death, but if you're going to try, you damn sure better make the comedy bits work.

Or I guess you need to make sure that you go all-out with the exploitation bits.

this movie doesn't really do either. It tries to be funny, and it gets sort of sexual (to an extent), but it kind of  dwells in that safe area between bland and balls-out crazy, when it should have just gone full-blown into "WTF" territory.

The film opens with a supernatural force molesting a hot chick while she sleeps, while the girl's Nana, Lin Shaye, yells "You can't have her!" They somehow both end up in the basement where they're both sucked into a sex vortex, presumably to get it on with the Sex Demon that lives there. Turns out that decades earlier, a wild gang of hippies conjured an Incubus (Sex Demon) in that very basement, and it's been trapped in the "Black Room" ever since.

AT LEAST THE SEX DEMON HAS GOOD TASTE.

Flash forward two years where a couple, Jennifer and Paul, have just bought the house. Everything is great at first until Paul wanders into the basement and finds himself possessed by the Sex Demon, which turns him into a horny, woman-hungry pig with no manners. Paul's not the only one who the Incubus goes after. No, it gets Jennifer to hump the washing machine, and even diddles her while she's taking a bath.

YOU KNEW WHAT THIS WAS.

No woman is safe from his carnal advances, including Jennifer's sister, their friends, and anyone else who Incubus Paul want to seduce. Can they stop the Incubus before it bangs them all to death? Will Lin Shaye save the day with her magic plate? Shouldn't there be more nudity for a movie about a Sex Demon? Far be it from us to spoil anything from you here, but the answer to that last question is a resounding YES!

HE'S OPEN FOR BUSINESS, LADIES.

First, let's cover the good stuff. The practical effects in the movie are great at times, and are definitely bizarre in a good way. The cast is great, with Retro Hotties Natasha Henstridge, Tiffany Shepis and Dominique Swain joining new age Hotties Augie Duke and Elissa Dowling for a shameless good time. And the creeper heating & cooling guy was funny as hell. 

The main problem I had with this movie was that it tried to do this odd black comedy thing that didn't work very well. It started off in promising fashion, with some spirit terrorizing a half naked girl, and then Lin Shaye showing up and doing her best "I'll banish you to the nether!" routine, but as soon as the main guy got possessed and went around sexually harassing people, it just fell flat. The guy, Lukas Hassel, just wasn't funny enough to pull it off.

Had they played his character straight, and just made him go after women to feed his Demonic urges, it may have worked better overall. It would have been way skeevier and exploitative, but it would have at least felt cohesive and effective.

And honestly, you've got Natasha Henstridge and Dominique Swain in a movie about a Sex Demon, and neither of them get naked? Not that they need to, that's their prerogative, but what the hell?

It's like the whole thing was half sexplotation, and half made-for-Lifetime drama, and it didn't really do much with either side of that coin.

LIN SHAYE MUST HAVE OWED SOMEONE A FAVOR OR SOMETHING. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO EXPLAIN WHAT SHE WAS DOING IN THIS MOVIE.

Once again, the practical effects in this movie are great, and they get pretty messy.

THAT'S A DEMON PENIS.

There's nudity and sexuality abound in this one, because it's about a rapey Demon.

THAT'S THE STUFF.

The Black Room isn't a great movie, but it's a shamelessly fun one, on a visceral level. It's full of hot chicks, nudity, and some great practical effects, which tend to even out the lame story, uneven acting, and bad dialogue. If you like sleazy B-grade flicks, you might just have fun with this one.

C-

The Black Room is available now on VOD.

Natasha, Augie, and Dominique. Those are totally stripper names.