VOD Review: Bite (2016)

"Way more bark than bite."

A good many Horror critics out there seem to really dig Bite, and we can understand why, as it's fairly reminiscent of 80's Body Horror classic, The Fly.

Of course Bite is nowhere near the film that the Cronenberg gem is, and aside from the fact that the girl in this movie slowly transforms into some sort of insect-thing, there's really nothing else to link the two movies together.

I don't know, Bite just didn't do it for us, and I guess I'm not sure how it garnered so many 4 and 5 Star reviews. Maybe this is just one of those times where we didn't get what everyone else did.

After accepting a marriage proposal that she probably shouldn't have, Casey and her friends head off to Costa Rica to have themselves a bachelorette getaway. While in full party mode, the girls decide to head off the beaten path to some secluded lagoon to have themselves a swim, where Casey gets bitten by something under the water.

RELAX. IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING.

After returning home, Casey's bite gets worse and worse, oozing and growing in its infected splendor. On top of that, she has to deal with the fact that she doesn't want to marry her fiance anymore, and she's not exactly sure how to break the news to him. We're not sure which plot point was more uncomfortable to watch unfold.

 Sticky Body Horror craziness ensues.

FEMALE BRUNDLEFY.

Bite annoyed us more than it thrilled us, but it did look pretty impressive on the visual front, offering up some pretty impressive gore gags. If I were a bit less jaded than I am, then its lame story, bland characters, and predictable B.S. probably wouldn't have bothered me too much, and I would have really dug it for the B-grade gorefest that it is.

I am jaded though, so things like story and character mean more to me now than they used to, so...

• While filming their friends swimming in a murky lagoon, one girl notices some jellied eggs all around the shore, and says nothing. Any country like Costa Rica has its share of venomous and dangerous wildlife, so why not even a "Hey guys, maybe we should go back and swim in the pool at the hotel" or "I found some creepy shit that looks like eggs over here!"?
• After the bite that she got on vacation begins to fester and grow, Casey doesn't take herself to the hospital? "I've got some cream for it" is about the extent of her concern. 
• Speaking of Casey, her relationship drama made up the bulk of the middle of the film, and nearly killed the whole thing for us. We didn't care about the characters enough to have to witness so much of their bland drama. 
• The dumbest shit of all was once Casey was totally taken over by whatever infected her, and her apartment looked like the dirtiest, stickiest slaughterhouse that's ever existed, not one of the people who stopped by to check on her took one look at the nastiness covering everything, backed out of the place, and went to get some sort of help?
• Friend stops over, sees entire place covered in scummy viscera, says "Casey, are you here?", searches for Casey, meets a grisly fate, repeat. Come on.

For us, it seemed like story, character, and logic took a backseat to the movie's visual nastiness, and that kinda killed things for us. It was like the movie was just biding it's time, waiting until it could show us the good stuff.

THAT BEING THE GOOD STUFF.

This movie is all kinds of gooey and gory, and should more than satisfy the gorehounds amongst us. Maybe don't eat dinner while watching it though.

GORE. GORE EVERYWHERE.

There's a sex scene in a car, but even that was mostly skin-free.

YEAH, WE'RE SORRY THAT YOU WEREN'T NAKED TOO.

Bite is a movie that many people will probably dig more than we did, as it's visually impressive, it's got some great gore going for it, and it will probably freak people out like it's meant to. For us though, and me in particular, everything else that surrounded the impressive gore felt weak, familiar, and at times, dull.

It's probably worth a rent for less picky Horror fans though. 

C

Bite is available now on VOD.

The gorgeous ladies of Bite.