October 8, 2011

31 Days of Creepy Kids, Day 8: Pauta (Phenomena, 1985)

He's really only in the movie for a few seconds, but creepy little Pauta makes quite the impression, none the less.

Phenomena is the story of Jennifer; a hot schoolgirl who can telepathically communicate with bugs, and it's also the story of a crazed Serial Killer running around killing cute schoolgirls. So really, it's one big story about a killer and bugs. It's one of Dario Argento's most fun (and definitely his most Americanized) movies. I mean the opening guitar riff from Iron Maiden's Flash of the Blade plays over and over throughout the movie, so how can it not be fun?

Our first ever Horror Hottie is in this.
Anywho, without spoiling the movie's plot, Jennifer (played by the smoking hot Jennifer Connelly) happens upon this creepy basement room while running for her life, and finds a kid standing in the corner... I really don't want to ruin the story or how this scene unfolds, but suffice it to say that the kid is a fucking mutant creeper. The first time we saw this scene we got chills. It's a classic.

Now that's a harelip.
What has Frau Blucher (cue horse noises) been doing to poor little Pauta? I mean it's obvious why he's kept in the basement, but why does he look like fish boy? Also, why would he ever want to scare poor little Jennifer Connelly to death like that? Come on kid, that's just wrong! Then again you're evil so you don't care, do you?

Everyone wants to take a poke at her. Zing!
Somehow they go from the room to a boat, and he attacks her with the ferocity of a mongoloid honey badger, taking menacing swipes at our heroine in an unbalanced and strongly rocking boat. Luckily for her, she has plenty of friends she can call on to save her ass, but it's all still pretty harrowing.

"I love you all."
Little Pauta is a creepy little mutant bastard who really provides the biggest scare in Phenomena. Though short, it's a classic scene and will live on in our hearts forever... as will Jennifer Connelly's fine, fine ass. And Boobs. Her boobs are World Class.

*For the record, we see none of JC's naked goods in this movie, because she was too young for nudity back in 1985. That came later in her career. Also, I am not creeping on a 15-year-old here; she was our High School crush back in the 80's, so I am allowed to look back and reminisce on what seeing her used to do to my peen. My peen never forgets.


Oh JC, you are still hot 23 years later...


  1. I feel exactly the same way about my childhood crush JC. Man... those boobs. Those eyebrows. That scream. And don't even get me started on that quarter horsey ride from Career Opportunities either. Dark lord have mercy.

  2. It's got to be said that the 'I Love You All' scene is indeed rather weird.And so she's perfect for this list.

  3. Career Opportunities..mmm.

    Mercy indeed.