We'll also go ahead and say that Hellions is a frustrating movie that drops the ball about halfway through, and never picks it up again. In fact, the ball disappears into a netherworld of confused ideas and even more confused execution, never to be seen again.
Hellions could have been a great movie. It could have been something close to what Trick 'r Treat was, albeit in a far different way, but where Sam was The Spirit of Halloween in that movie, the creepy little bastards in this one seem to be The Spirits of Pro-Life or something?
Halloween and sulk, and maybe pass out some candy. Or maybe she wants to go to that Halloween party after all. Oh, what's a girl to do!
|THIS PICTURE MIGHT BE A METAPHOR.|
|"NO CANDY. BABY!"|
|SO THE HONEY ON THE PICKLE... THAT'S A METAPHOR, RIGHT?|
And then everything went pink.
|LITERALLY, PINK. OR WHATEVER COLOR THIS IS.|
What started out as an atmospheric and potentially good little Halloween thriller, became something else... like maybe a PSA about how abortion is bad, and how all knocked-up young girls should keep their babies, or they deserve to die or something. Or maybe it was something else altogether, I don't know. Whatever it was though, it completely lost us once the trippy, "is it real or is it all in her head" bullshit began.
Why can't Horror movies just be straight-forward anymore? And I'm talking about movies like Hellions, not the average cheap Direct-to-DVD crap that hits shelves on a consistent basis. This movie had a competent filmmaker behind it, a decent cast, and what looks enough of a budget to do something at a certain level of quality, so why couldn't it just be a straight-forward Horror flick, instead of heading off into some ethereal, pretentious dreamworld like it did?
We don't need everything spoofed to us, but if we have to sit through 80 minutes of confused nonsense like this, the least you can do is give us a damn explanation as to what happened. Oh, and make it a satisfying one while you're at it.
|YEAH, US TOO.|
We're giving this one a 2 out of 5 because the beginning of the movie was great, Chloe Rose was great, and as painful as the latter half was to watch, there's some good filmmaking going on there. If you like trippy movies, then the tonal shift that put us off might not bother you at all.
Hellions is available now on VOD.
Chloe Rose ain't no joke though...