Here's the thing: I truly think that Rob Zombie is a one-note filmmaker who peaked with The Devil's Rejects. The guy's got vision, and he's definitely got a unique and compelling visual style, but man the dude can't write to save his life.
Zombie really needs to direct a movie that someone else wrote and conceptualized, and he needs to leave his wife out of it. I've said it before, and it still stands.
I loved House of 1000 Corpses, even though it was far from perfect; and I truly think that The Devil's Rejects is a modern-day classic. Since then though, he's had a run of films that have gotten gradually worse.
Halloween (Review HERE) was a good remake of a classic film that was almost impossible to remake. He did more right with this one than he did wrong. Halloween 2 (Review HERE) was so shitty that it made me physically angry. It was this movie that really showed Zombie's flaws, and in a big way. The Retarded World of El Superbeasto (Review HERE) was painfully bad. Great animation, but everything else about it was shit. The Lords of Salem (Review HERE) was an incoherent mess that felt more like a self-masturbatory project than it did a movie.
Looking back, maybe it was Bill Moseley and Sid Haig that made his first two efforts so damned entertaining. I don't know.
So being that we've gone from fans of Rob Zombie's movies to absolute haters over the course of his 6-film career, we didn't expect much at all from 31. I'm happy to say that while he still sucks a s a writer, that 31 is his best movie since Halloween, and we really liked it for the most part.
Halloween, 1976, a gang of raunchy carnies are heading through the remote countryside in a Winnebago when they're attacked by some guys in striped pajamas. Everyone is killed except for Charly, Panda, Roscoe, Venus, and Peter Periwinkle, who are taken to some old warehouse complex, chained up, and forced to play a game called 31 by an old dude and two old chicks who are dressed like Olde English Aristocrats, wigs and all.
|WHAT ARE THEY ON ABOUT?|
|AND WHY ARE THEY CLOWNS?|
|YEAH, THIS GUY MEANS BUSINESS.|
Gotta say I liked the way it ended too.
Seeing E.G. Daily on-screen again, especially in such a sexy & sinister role, was great too. In the 80's, she was an adorable little pixie who had supporting roles in a bunch of movies that we loved, and she's still got that special thing about her.
31 also excels in the gore department.
|THE REST OF THE CAST WAS SOLID IN THIS ONE TOO.|
|THAT NAPKIN THAT SHERRI MOON IS WEARING WAS PRETTY COOL THOUGH.|
Come on, man. Do you know how stupid that shit sounds?
|AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE DASTARDLY, OLD-TIMEY GOONS!|
|THAT GIRL TAKES A BEATING...|
|AND SEX-HEAD WAS SUPER CUTE.|
It's definitely worth a rental.
C+ or B-. Not sure which. Either way, 3 heads out of 5.
31 is available now on VOD.