"This is a very naked remake."
*SUBMITTED BY: Artsploitation Films, who sent us a handy screener.
Female Vampires are a sexy and terrifying thing to behold. They're usually gorgeous and scantily-clad, which is great and all, but knowing that they're only using their feminine wiles to lure unsuspecting men like us to some dark place so that they can drain them of their lifeblood is just terrifying. As a man, let me tell you that we're just not strong enough to resist that kind of thing. We're simple creatures.
In the
70's, there were all kinds of vampire flicks that featured sexy female vampires. They all had that spooky,
70's Gothic vibe about them, and some of them even pushed the boundaries of good taste by offering gratuitous nudity, sex, and lesbianism. Back then, that was some scandalous shit.
One of the most famous of those exploitational vampire flicks was
Vampyres (1974), which featured the stunningly gorgeous
Anulka as one of the
Devil's whores, and maybe even offered more graphic lesbianism on film than any other movie ever had before.
Now, it's been remade. We're not sure exactly why, but it has.
Vampire lovers
Fran and
Miriam live in an old house in the woods where they have sex with each other, and lure unsuspecting travelers back home so that they can drink their blood. Maybe even bathe in it. When a group of dimwit campers decide to set up their tents nearby, they get pulled into the erotic and blood-soaked world of the two sapphic vampires, which doesn't end well for most of them.
I'm not trying to be vague or anything here, that's really all there is to the plot. This isn't a very deep movie.
 |
| THAT'S THE LOOK OF LOVE. |
This remake of
Vampyres isn't a great movie. The acting is uneven across the board, which has a lot to do with most of the movie's stars speaking
English when it's not their native language, which is always distracting to me; the story, while being rather faithful to the
1974 version, drags on with a lot of exposition that did nothing for the movie; and although the movie boasts plenty of attractive ladies, none of them had that special "it factor" that
Anulka did in the original.
Anulka was special.
But...
This remake does boast plenty of nakedness, lesbianism, sex, and a liberal amount of bloodshed that makes it a fun watch, at least on a visceral level.
 |
| "I... I LOVE YOU?" |
The vampire ladies feed on plenty of victims throughout this one, and it gets messy. There's even a scene where the two vampiresses have some lesbian sex in a bathtub, while blood pours down on them from above, courtesy of a slit throat. Felt a lot like that scene from
Hostel 2...
 |
| THEY SURE ARE HUNGRY. AND HORNY. |
I'm pretty sure that this movie exists only to showcase a bunch of naked girls kissing each other. We can respect that.
 |
| BLOODY HOT. |
If you're in the mood for a movie with an exploitational level of blood and gore (and let's face it, sometimes we're all in that mood), then
Vampyres will probably give you your money's worth.Just turn off the part of your brain that craves substance, and you'll be fine.
C
Vampyres will hit
VOD and
DVD on
October 18th.
The lovely ladies of
Vampyres.
OMG, that scene in Hostel 2.....
ReplyDeleteI remember thinking, NOOOOO, I like that character this is just wrong, while also thinking wow this is kinda hot if it weren't for the visceral sound of that blade scraping on her neck. The sound design on that was really disturbing to say the least. Plus it was incredibly realistic and not at all like old 70's movie where they would use the bright red blood that looked fake, and not this very dark blood that they use now(and gallons of it)....