In Attendance- Me, Machine, and about 6 other people.
Cast Members of Note- Mostly the same as the first one, plus a whole bunch of new random cameos by washed up actors.
*Everything from here on out is going to be filled with venom and spoilers. BIG, HUGE SPOILERS. You've been warned.
H2 picks up where the first one left off, with Laurie having shot Michael at point-blank range in the face with a Magnum (I think it was a Magnum), Loomis having his eyes gouged out, and Annie being near death... except that Michael is alive, Loomis' eyes are fine, and Annie survives. Alright, fine. It's a Horror flick, and I'm fine with just accepting certain things to facilitate a sequel.
After a "ha, got ya!" dream sequence which negates the best part of the movie, we come to find that our sweet little Laurie has turned into a skanky-looking, dirty, pseudo-dread haired riot grrrl, who hangs with other skanky chicks calling each other "dick-licker," "dude," and just acting annoyingly lame. I guess that's because of what she "went through?" Does everyone who writes young girl characters these days have to make them all sound like totally annoying assholes? Yes Diablo Cody, I am talking to you!
|What is the meaning of this!|
|I'm actually shaking my head right now as I write this.|
|Shame crept over Buttercup like a blanket of regret, and she realized that no amount of hay and oats was worth this shit.|
|Don't act surprised. You read the script before signing on.|
That's about it though.
|This movie could have been great.|
For all of his unique vision, Rob Zombie really struggles as a writer, and it shows here in a big way. Honestly, the guy needs to direct something that someone else writes. Especially dialogue-wise.
|So deep and creative.|
|Especially that ending.|
We do get to see some boobs, but it's nothing big. The movie is laced with a ton of dirty words though, so I guess that's like verbal nudity?
|Yes, Brad. We feel the same way.|
I give it a D only because there are a few things I liked about it (as mentioned above in "The Good"), but in all reality, it's as much of a "Do Not Want" as I've seen in years. Either way, I won't ever watch it again, and I advise you to go spend your money on something else.
Rob Zombie always fills his movies with Hotties...