I like bad movies, and in fact, we here at THC often like to sit around and watch them, cringe, and laugh at them. We even had/have a Bad Movie Club where we would buy each other the worst possible movies in an attempt to piss off/one-up each other.
This movie, however, went too far.
This wasn't even funny-bad, this was insanely-painful-like-analingus-from-an-angry-bear bad. It hurt. I know with a title like this that you can't really expect too much, but for Christ's sake can't we even expect a minimal amount of effort? A little bit of sense in the plot? Some halfway decent dialogue? Anything redeemable at all, no matter how small it is? The acting was atrocious (even from future House of 1000 Corpses star, Jennifer Jostyn), and I'm hoping that most of the actors in this were ever allowed to be in another movie ever. Never.
Lades and Gentlemen, Five Creepy Uncles! |
Worst of all, some crazy wizard shows up and brings with him an ending that confused us to the point that I said "It's over? What happened?!?" I still don't know... and neither would you if you had seen it, because they didn't fucking show us what happened!
Count Suckula. |
Jennifer Jostyn from House of 1000 Corpses is in this.
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Your review could not be more wrong. Do you even know what a dialogue is. For any horror movie with Bikini Beach in the title, the dialogue in this movie was incredibly well written and acted.
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