August 8, 2009

DVD Review: Darkness Falls (2003)

"I may never open my eyes while laying in bed again."
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The Vanilla Gorilla, Nick and Cherrie.
Cast Members of Note- Emma Caulfield, Chaney Kley and a young Emily Browning.

When a child loses a tooth in the town of Darkness Falls, the Tooth Fairy brings them a special surprise to mark the occasion; a terrifying and painful death! Cute, right? I used to get pissed when I found a quarter on my nightstand the next morning, but I guess that's better than being torn to shreds by an old hag with a chip on her shoulder. 

I'm fine with a quarter, thanks.
Anywho, some kid watches his Mom die at the hands of the Tooth Fairy while he cowers in the tub, which leaves him insane and afraid of the dark. Fast forward 12 years, and his childhood sweetheart calls him out of the blue and asks him to come home because her little brother is scared of the dark too. Let me get this straight... she calls the guy who as a kid hid in a tub and watched his Mom die, to help her sissy-pants brother get over his fear of the dark? Good plan

He actually leaves Las Vegas to head home, which I found to be a crazy plot twist; is there any place on earth that has more light (to stay safe in) than Vegas? Tokyo, maybe? Staying in the light is the only way to keep the Tooth Fairy at bay you see... so naturally from here on out we're treated to a never-ending "stay in the light!" gag, in which the lights keep going out repeatedly, about 100 times over. Will they ever turn the lights on? Will the Tooth Fairy kill them all? Come on, it's PG-13, you know it has to end happy... right? 

That's a creepy bitch.
This was a pretty effective and creepy little flick, especially for being one of the PG-13 variety. The Tooth Fairy looked awesome, and the little flashes of her hiding here and there worked well. I would have liked to have seen some more blood, but it's a pretty minor complaint.  

On a sad note, I didn't know that the actor that played Kyle, Chaney Kley, died in his sleep in 2007. That's way too young to be gone...

R.I.P. Chaney Kley: 1972-2007
How about listen to the legend and don't open your damned eyes when the Tooth Fairy comes looking for blood! It plainly states that if you don't look at her, she can't harm you, so why does everyone try to take a peek, knowing that they will die by doing so?

Don't look, assholes!
The characters in this sure could have used more of the light available to them to ward off the Tooth Fairy than they did. Bright-assed police lights, car headlights, dome lights, setting themselves on fire... for God's sake just find a damned way to create some light, and stay in it! 

Ok seriously, you're in a frigging lighthouse... turn the big light on!
Not so much. The movie is creepy, but very sparse on the blood and gore. What can you really expect from a PG-13 Horror flick?

Again, the movie is PG-13, so no go. Who really wants to see her naked anyways?
I do, that's who.
"All this over a fuckin' tooth."

We learned that losing a tooth means death for children. also, Chaney Kley was a good actor who died way too young.

Again with the looking...
This is a damn good movie for being of the tamer PG-13 variety. It's effective, creepy, and the Tooth Fairy looked awesome. Definitely check this one out, as it's worth a bit of your time.


Darkness Falls is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

Emma Caulfield is way too hot to be relegated to a family friendly PG-13 movie! Also, a very young Emily Browning is in this.


  1. Happy to see someone other than "me" in attendance! Haha

    I'm glad you reviewed this one. I actually thought it was pretty damn good for what it was too. Since it came out around the same time as The Ring, everyone forgot about it.

    Also, I gave you an award/tag! So you should check it out on my site. :D

  2. I know! "Me" is when I watch things Solo, and with all of the personal things going on with everyone here this summer, it took forever to be able to sit and watch some movies again... I'm happy too :)

  3. I have yet to sit down and watch this, but my bro swears it has a very creepy opening scene...

    Maybe I'll check it out now!

  4. I paid too much money to watch this movie [common complaint]. But when I tell you a strange, wheelchaired farmer [curiously lingering outside the theater] paid me to see this movie, the most frightening thing about the whole situation is that I got raped.