August 30, 2009

Quick Review: The Crypt (2009)
"Six young criminals break into hidden catacombs and attempt to steal jewels, but some inhabitants are guarding the precious belongings. After being trapped in this dark maze of crypts, the group tries to escape alive."

At the point when a female crook watches her 12-year-old brother take a bullet to the brain, then promptly attends a her crimey-crew's meeting to discuss their next "job," I hated this movie, and that wasn't even 10 minutes in.

It's a shame too, because the opening sequence was pretty damned cool.
  • This movie struck me as a LOW RENT version of The Descent; only in this one, everything sucks.
  • What's with the cut-to-black that happens every 5 minutes or so? Is it to trick our minds into thinking that The Crypt is over, and a real movie is beginning?
  • "I have the biggest and easiest job of the century for us." Someone actually wrote that line.
  • The acting is abysmal here too.
  • Why was the kid who got shot never talked about or referenced, again? Then again, the entire plot made little sense, why am I even bitching?

Never watch the dailies while you're still shooting, because sometimes, they hurt.
Since there are so many movies that we verbally abuse after having to endure them (and for good reason), we thought it fair to come up with at least 5 things that were good or decent about the DO NOT WANT'S of the world. We will use pictures to illustrate said things. So here are 5 positive things about MOVIE NAME HERE:

*We didn't actually like anything about this movie, but here are five random pics anyway...

The ladies of The Crypt.

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