December 4, 2008

Solo Review: Vacancy 2: The First Cut (2009)

Sub-Genre- Survival.
Cast Members of Note- Agnes Bruckner.

A bunch of creepy hicks decide to rig their crappy motel with a bunch of hidden cameras, and videotape themselves murdering people, because the $$$ is just too good to pass up. Huh? Since when is the snuff film market so "big dollar"? I barely sold 12 copies of "This is Where your Daughter Went!" ...Forget I said that.

My 2nd film went direct to video also...
Lucky for the creepy motel maniacs, three dumb, unsuspecting victims show up, and the game is on! Dumb neighbors, lack of a Police presence, the inability to run like hell... all of these things spell one thing for our poor victims... WTF?!? I won't ruin the ending for you here, because I know you can probably reason it out for yourself, but I will say that it made very little logical sense, very much like everything that preceded it.

She is finished.
The Direct-to-Video market for "part 2's" that has recently given us sequels to Pulse, Joy Ride and Feast, continues to underwhelm with Vacancy 2. Again, as with the others, this movie isn't horribly made, overly ridiculous, or anger-inducing... and that's the real problem; it actually doesn't evoke much of any emotion from the audience at all. I can see a 14-year-old being creeped out, or maybe wowed by the violence here, but anyone who has seen more that 20 Horror movies in their lifetime is likely to be bored to death by this effort. The first Vacancy was a pretty good one for the most part, which makes its sequels' failings that much more of a shame.

Sorry Agnes, it was just bad.
Are the people in these movies ever going to realize that they can't just act however they want, whenever they want, and expect there to be no consequences? Am I crazy for thinking people could use a little more common sense in obvious situations?

A dance battle? Now?!?!
Why are white people so stupid in Horror movies? The black guy says "We need to run!" but the white chick feels the need to bang on windows, make noise, and announce to everyone within a mile radius that she really wants to die. Ugh.

You had it coming, snowflake!
A decent hooker stabbing, another brutal stabbing (no hooker involved), some shotgun violence... this movie doesn't really lack in the blood department.

I can never sleep in motel rooms either,
Of course not. Why would a Direct-to-Video, B-grade Horror movie have any random boobs in it?

Drop the towel, Agnes!
Let's just be honest; no one feels bad when stupid people die... they need to go. Also, if a guy lays a tarp over the bed and asks you to lay down, run.

This movie just doesn't offer much; I've seen everything here before, and done much more effectively. I'm not necessarily calling this movie really bad as much as I'm saying it's just not really that good. Rent it, skip it... it won't matter much either way.


Vacancy 2 is available now on DVD and VOD.

Stay perky, Agnes. always.

1 comment :

  1. I was actually going to rent this one the other day. I wasn't too crazy about the first one just seemed like it was trying too hard.

    Plus I can't take Luke Wilson seriously.