December 5, 2008

Review: Trick or Treat (1986)

Sub-Genre- Supernatural.
In Attendance- Me, Geo, Machine and Chris.
Cast Members of Note- Skippy Handleman from "Family Ties," Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne. Seriously.

When metal god Sammi Curr kills himself, his biggest fan, Ragman (Skippy from Family Ties), gets real sad and goes to see Gene Simmons to cry about it. In an effort to ease the poor lad's soul, Gene gives Ragman Sammi Curr's final, unreleased record on vinyl, and warns him not to play it backwards, because something evil will happen if he does...

Something evil.
Back from the grave via vinyl record (?!?), Sammi urges Ragman to sulk around, listen to his shitty music, wear one of Pat Benetar's gayest headbands, and hate everyone and everything as if he were Emo. Oh yeah, and he's also supposed to kill anyone at school who makes fun of him.

"You have matching legwarmers for that headband?"
I won't say anything else about the plot here, because who really cares. Just know that crappy Fastway music ensues, and Skippy pretty much waves goodbye to any chance at a career that he may have had before starring in this craptastic movie.

Say goodbye, Skippy.
I love Heavy Metal. I love Horror flicks. I loved Family Ties when it was on, even though Alex P. Keaton was a smarmy young Republican. I loved Kiss in the 80's, same goes for Ozzy... So how could a marriage between so many awesome elements produce such a bad, cheesy and laughable movie?

Don't get me wrong, this is one of those fun, "so bad it's good" types of flicks that I love to watch every now and then, because it's a great trip back in time. It's just really, really not a good movie. 

I used to think that the marriage between Metal and Horror in this movie was awesome, and I ate it up as a kid, but watching it again recently, I actually cringed a little bit. Was my mullet that bad? Did my jean jacket look lame too? Am I gay for loving Stryper?

No way does loving Stryper make me gay... those chicks were hot!
Fastway; In many ways, they personified 80's Metal, but in many ways, their music were too bland and shitty for this movie. Someone like W.A.S.P. should have done Sammi Curr's music, then this movie could have rocked the way that it should have.

Wasted potential.
Were the 80's that cheesy? I remember them as being fun, wild, and rockin'... I feel like crying now.

Just stop.
Eh... nothing to write home about. 
This is about as gory as it gets.
Some boobs, but not near enough for a R-Rated rock n' roll movie!

I always thought this was Lori Loughlin. It's not.
"You should be loyal to your heroes... they can turn on you." or "These evil people have just got to be stopped."

Playing your records backwards makes Gay Rock Stars appear in your bedroom. Also, Ozzy should have stuck to music.

Rock n' Roll.
This movie isn't all that good, but it is a fun stroll down memory lane... for those of us who were in High School in the late 80's, at least. Give it a rent if you want, you might actually like it; don't blame me though if it makes you kick your TV screen in or something. Fun in a nostalgic way, TOT definitely hasn't aged very well.


Some 80's Horror hotness, and a pre-gay Doug Savant.

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