Running Commentary Review: Sick Nurses (2008)

Start- Some really attractive Thai chicks and a doctor are undressing a female corpse while soft lovemaking music plays... needles, alcohol swabs... plastic bag over the dead girl's head... and her eye opens at the last second. I'm intrigued. Nevermind... she's dead.

7:21- These Asian chicks aren't very nice at all; making fun of each others dead sisters, spitting Count Chocula on each other, throwing each other on the floor, smacking each other, laughing maniacally... At least they're hot.

"Your dead Sister sucks!"

9:00- Hot Asian lesbian action! Is anything better?

11:33- Ok, I just nearly peed myself.

13:10- Dead chick climbing out of a purse alert! That of course is followed by some Grudge/Ring-like movement and an "eye behind the hair" camera shot...

15:53- What in the hell?!?

???

17:05- A girl taking a shower with her clothes on? Seriously, who washes their hair in the shower while fully dressed?!? Is she one of the infamous Thai girly-boys that I Google so often at 2 A.M.? This movie is doing it all wrong... Still, I find it to be very compelling and engrossing...

19:30- Hair ghost attack! Duck, hot Thai chick! Well at least the flying hand weight missed her, that would have crushed her face... never mind, death by hair. What just happened?

22:26- Another of the hot nurses drinks what looks to be a semen-tomato concoction, and then barfs into a bag... afterward, she abuses a cat and throws it across the room! Why are bulimic Asian chicks always so angry?!?

Vomit and cats do not mix.

23:30- Another hair ghost attack, and not a minute too soon! The bulimic nurse just ate a donut while brushing her teeth... that's just so nasty. As revenge, the hair ghost stabs her in the mouth with her own toothbrush. She runs off... what happened to her?

28:30- Oh god, the half-gay doctor is having a gay flashback of he and his gym buddy smoking together, showering together... the gay tension is in the air and hanging thick... get it? Hanging thick? Lulz.

30:03- Yay! Nook, the whore who helped murder her own sister (and who was sleeping with her boyfriend), is pregnant! This being an Asian film, we know that all will not end well.

It rhymes with ba-bortion.

Upon coming out of the bathroom, Nook finds that the hair ghost, her sister, has the other two nurses pinned down... so she runs like any coward/rational person would do.

34:00- Flashback time... Our hair ghost, while she was still alive, sees her slut sister sleep with her boyfriend in the morgue, then finds her later and beats her ass. Unfortunately, the other nurses and the doctor want her dead now, because she's gone nuts.

39:28- At this point, nurses are running everywhere for their lives as the ghost taunts them all. They're all still alive, just in various stages of punishment... Wait, the hair chick just too a long nap in the fish tank. One down.

The rare Thai Street Carp on display.

44:00- Goriest scene in the movie alert! Bulimic chick, after being made to eat garbage, a full ashtray, and a huge jug of water, finds herself trapped in a room full of jars; jars filled with fetus's, muscles, bones, and other various body parts... and the ghost feeds her a handful of scalpel blades! Damn... damn... there goes her jaw... and the little kitty she abused gets it's revenge!  

That just happened.

Then a fetus jumps out of a jar, and hits her in the face.... and crawls down her throat! WTF?!?!?!?!?  

What is even going on right now?

44:37- Gore alert! Cell-phone-under-the skin-mixed-with-blood vomiting.

51:00- Gore alert! Hypodermic needle meets fingernail. Good lord. Also, saw meets leg.

51:39- She is still sawing away... At this point, I'm probably going to be skipping dinner.

52:48- Gore alert! WTF?!? This movie is nuts.

58:07- Yep, the doctor is bi... and his male lover nicknames him the Ace of Hearts, and even gives him a card. Yep.

1:00:10- Ghost-kicks to the baby bump! Will Nookie finally get what's coming to her? Will I finally understand what in the hell is going on here?

1:01:15- Random glitter storm!

"Herro there."

1:08:00- I don't want to ruin the end of this one for you, but dammit, I've got so much left to say! I will say that I never saw the twist coming... it was a nice nod to Miike's Gozu.

This one was pretty good; gory, creepy, confusing, odd, disgusting, creepy, gay-friendly... It has a little something for everyone! This movie is flashback crazy though, and may confuse you to the point of screaming. Check this one out of you get the chance.

B+

Sick Nurses is available now on DVD and VOD.

For the love of Jeebus does Thailand ever have some seriously hot chicks working as nurses... at least, in movies, they do.