Blu-ray review: See No Evil 2 (2014)

WWE Studios is hardly know for producing "Good" movies. They've had a few that were decent (Oculus, The Call, The Condemned) but for the most part, their movies range from mediocre to bad. 

Coming off of American Mary (read our review HERE), we were fairly keen to check out whatever the Soska Sisters were doing next, although we would have liked to have seen them do something other than a sequel to a mediocre slasher flick produced by the WWE. We take what we can get though.

At the same time, we were excited to see what they could do with a bloody, straight-up slasher flick.

In the end, See No Evil 2 was no American Mary, but we have to admit that aside from a few sloppy plot devices, it was a pretty enjoyable slasher flick.

It's Amy's birthday, and just as she's about to clock out of work at the city morgue and go party with her friends, news breaks of the massacre at the Blackwell Hotel. With nine newly-dead bodies now on their way to them, including the body of "notorious" killer Jacob Goodnight, Amy cancels her plans, because she likes corpses better than having fun with her pals.

AMERICAN AMY?

This new turn of events doesn't stop the party though, because all of Amy's friends show up at the morgue, ready to drink the night away! Lucky for them that no Cops, reporters, or grieving family members show up looking for info on the murder victims, because that would have been a major buzzkill... and Jacob Goodnight being not dead is already buzzkill enough.

"HE'S RIGHT BEHIND US, ISN'T HE?"

Yes, the infamous (?) murderer is alive and well, and before long, he's joining in the party too... by killing everyone he comes across in messy ways! This is why you don't lock your kids in cages when they're little, parents; because if you do, they either grow up to be WWE Superstars, serial killers, or both.

WHAT KIND OF CREEP COULD WANT TO KILL SUCH QT'S?

From here on out, it's a battle for survival, pitting the brutal menace of Jacob Goodnight against the blatant stupidity of a bunch of pretty people! Far be it from us to spoil the ending for you here, but suffice it to say that no one is still pretty by the end of this one. Also, Kane does not Chokeslam anyone in this movie, nor does he give anyone the Tombstone Piledriver. For shame.

SEEING THAT MUST BE LIKE CHRISTMAS TO HIM.

For a Direct-to-Video sequel of a cheesy WWE-produced slasher movie starring a wrestler, this one was pretty good. Kane makes for one hell of an imposing killer (although he talks too much), and the violent acts of Jacob Goodnight are both ferocious and inspired. As modern day slasher flicks go, this one had more of a "back in the day" kind of feel about it. Like mid-90's back in the day.

The simplest way to put it is that See No Evil 2 was a bunch of harmless, imperfect fun.

Had this movie been directed by anyone other than the Soska Sisters though, it may not have fared as well. Those girls clearly know how to frame a shot, and they bring a solid and sharp visual aesthetic to this movie that actually made it better than it should have been. Hopefully they continue to grow as filmmakers, as the Horror genre definitely needs distinct voices like theirs speaking for it.

The ending montage, along with the creepy song that plays over it, was truly eerie, and the best part of the movie... not counting the retarded final shot.

DANIELLE HARRIS WILL FIGHT ANYONE!

The script for this movie doesn't make much sense at times.

Nine dead bodies are on the way to the morgue, and we only see them deal with the body of Jacob Goodnight for a minute or two, and that's it. As high profile as these murders were, there are no Cops or reporters around, an none of the victim's families are looking to ID the bodies at all... The morgue is essentially deserted, save for the three employees, and Amy's party friends. That doesn't even begin to sound feasible. Families would want answers, reporters would want answers, Cops would need answers so that they could begin to work the case... and yet no one shows up at the morgue at all.

Hell, we live in the Twitter age; there would be random gawkers showing up to see what was going on, and most likely within minutes.

And Amy's boss decides that letting her friends come party at the morgue, in the midst of all of that impending craziness, is a good idea? Put aside the fact that it's probably illegal, but wouldn't they be worried about losing their jobs? I mean, there would be City Supervisors showing up to make sure everything is running smoothly with the handling of the bodies, right?

Also, Katharine Isabelle's character was retarded. Then again, her over-the-top performance didn't help things much either. It was really disappointing to us to find that she was the most annoying part of the movie, because usually, she's aces with us.

WE WERE SO GLAD WHEN SHE DIED.

Why do characters in Horror movies always scream and talk in near-screams when they know that they are in mortal danger? There's a killer stalking the halls, he's killed one of your friends (whose bloody corpse you just found), and yet you persist on yelling your fears and concerns at a volume level that surely gives your location away? Worse still, why does no one standing with these screaming morons ever say "Shut the fuck up. What are you, stupid?"

And it happens more than once.

Call me fucking paranoid, but if I find a corpse of a close friend in the room where a mass-murderer's body used to be before it apparently got up and killed said friend, the first thing I do is shut up, put my back against the wall, survey my surroundings, grab something to pummel/stab with, and formulate a plan to find the nearest exit... Alright, that's like five first things, but you get the point.

There will be plenty of time for me to freak out, cry, scream, piss myself, etc... once I escape, get far away, and live on to tell my harrowing tale.

"WE'RE CALLED 'SCREAM QUEENS' FOR A REASON, IDIOT!"

People get hooked, stabbed, beaten, slashed, and embalmed... there's even some good old fashioned eye gouging in this one. See No Evil 2 isn't over the top with it gore, but it's certainly got enough of it to keep the Gorehounds amongst us reasonably happy.

SHE DIED WELL.

There's no nudity i this one, but Katharine Isabelle did get pretty naughty with a corpse, and then her boyfriend (in front of the same corpse.)

THIS TREND OF PEOPLE HAVING MOSTLY-CLOTHED SEX IN MOVIES MUST END!

It's better when the psycho killers in slasher flicks don't talk. Also, to have Danielle Harris and Katharine Isabelle together in the same movie is like some kind of Scream Queen Heaven.

WE REALLY WANTED TO SEE KANE GIVE SOMEONE A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER IN THIS ONE...

See No Evil 2 was a pretty fun slasher flick for the most part; it's a well-made, good looking movie; it's bloody; it's got a great cast; and it didn't make us check our watches during its runtime. It's also a bit nonsensical and silly, and at times, and even frustrating, but don't let that stop you from seeing it..

C+/B- (Depending on how you look at it.)

See No Evil 2 is available now on VOD, and Blu-ray & DVD on October 21st.

Danielle Harris and Katharine Isabelle weren't the only Hotties to bring their a-games to See No Evil 2; Chelan Simmons was every bit as good as they were, plus, she had the best boobs.

We're not sure what's with the name Chelan though. Maybe she's French? *We really had to resist the urge to make a "Chelan like a Velan" joke here, because when we cringe at our own quips, it's a sure sign that they're not funny.