September 14, 2009

Quick Review: Vampitheatre (2009)
Where does this shit come from? I know that I probably couldn't make a better Horror flick with $8 and a cellphone cam (which is probably what they used), but come on! I swear in an early scene, they tried to do a quick-cut scare thing, but it looked like the Vampire coughed!

And what is with the crappy music video's/interviews/concert footage inter-cut with the movie... ugh. It was basically a music showcase with a few scenes of Vampire crap thrown in. Really. And what's the deal with Linnea Quigley? One of the all-time great Scream Queens, and she's relegated to starring in shit like this? She deserves better.

Poor Linnea...
The wannabe Suicide Girls were at least kinda hot in that special way that only bi, tatted, Trailer Park-dwelling chicks can be. In other words, they're dirty and you know anything goes with them. You know the kind; they go online and make up screen names like Mandy Mayhem or Amber Anarchy and put a little trademark symbol next to it, and act like they're famous? Yeah. Them.

Just stop.
This movie was a complete mess that played like a painfully bad, 80-minute long music video. Run as fast as you can from this movie, and don't ever look back.

Adam Ant's gay Vampire brother says: "This shit was worse than my brother's music!"

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