September 17, 2009

Review: Invitation Only (2009)

"The first ever slasher flick from Taiwan..."
Sub-Genre- Slasher/Torture Porn
Cast Members of Note- Bryant Chang, Jerry Huang, Kristian Brodie, Viv Ho, and the crazy hot Maria Ozawa.

A Taiwan guy named Wade (a name common in Taiwan, I'm sure), catches his asshole CEO boss screwing the hottest chick on the planet, and is offered a bribe to keep his mouth shut. What's the bribe you ask? A pass to an exclusive "Invitation Only" party that's held only for the elite members of society. Since Wade is a loser, he gladly accepts.

"I am so in her right now!"
To make him fit in amongst the High Society crowd, the asshole boss gives him clothes and money to gamble with. Wade immediately gets to playing Pai Gow, making fancy new friends, and wishing for a Ferrari. In the best twist ever, the hot chick he caught his boss screwing shows up, drinks some dirty whore juice, and has sex with Wade too!

"Be in me too, ok?"
Too bad it's all a set-up, with Wade and his new friends being nothing more than pawns in some rich man's sick scheme to torture poor people because they're poor. I mean I'd roll a hobo, maybe even stab him to death (and who wouldn't), but isn't this going just a bit too far, rich people? What did they ever do to deserve... oh. You have videotape. I see. Carry on then.

Ok, maybe they do kinda have it coming. Not Wade though. He's a good kid.
Murder, torture, and random facial reconstruction ensues. I won't spoil what comes next for you here, but suffice it to say that things get very nasty, very quickly, and being poor terrifies me even more than it did before.

Don't hide from the gun. Use it.
The Taiwanese version of Hostel; that's just about what this is, and it's not bad for a first effort. Everything a good slasher flick needs is present here, including: hapless victims, hot slutty chicks, and plenty of pick em' off one-by-one style violence. Where Invitation Only differs from most slashers though is in the fact that it all feels more adult than most American slashers, and it definitely delves into the Torture Porn realm. There is no new ground broken here, but then again it's a Horror flick, and very seldom is new ground broken anymore. At least this movie makes the re-treading of familiar ground fun. I was actually pulling for Wade, our hero, because what a nice kid he is.

Also, what a perv he is.
Why is the only white man in the movie the orchestrator of such horrible torture and Hostel-like acts? I resent that, Asia!

This gay American guy resents it too!
Why was the hottest chick in the movie, and maybe ever, used so sparingly? No bath scene, no lesbian scene, no extended "lotioning" scene... Maybe she could have been drinking milk, and a cat could have come along and knocked into the glass, and made some dribble down her chin or something? Why not have her do something like, oh I don't know, touch herself for like 20-30 minutes? Nice going Taiwan, you slasher flick rookie!

She's a pornstar in real life, for Pete's sake!
Throat slashing, ankle cutting, mouse murder, car battery to nut-sack, fresh cuts packed with rock salt, face stapling, battle axe violence... this one is not shy with the gore.

That's gonna leave a mark.
The gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, Japanese pornstar, Maria Ozawa gets naked and does the nasty in this one, and it's quite a sight to behold. If you like hot chicks, go ahead and Google her, click on images at the top, and enjoy. *Note- If you do not like bukkake, pee, lesbianism, group fellatio, or any other kind of porn, don't Google her.

I would Google her silly.
"She wants to be beautiful. Let's give that to her." 

Never trust your boss. Also, rich people hate the poor, and want to murder them.

That mask looks Asian.
For a first outing into the slasher genre, Invitation Only is pretty good. It's bloody, sexy, tense, dark, and pretty creepy when things are all said and done. I look forward to more horror from Taiwan, and I definitely want to see more movies starring Japanese porn chicks. Check it.


If you like these pictures, then look to the post below for more Maria Ozawa... 



  1. Well, if you look at other Asian movies you will see a trend that, frankly, worries me. At first I thought Jackie Chan has some racist side so that every movie he does later stars evil (and stupid) Caucasians. But then I noticed the same thing in Ong-Bak 2. And now horror movies.

    BTW, I finally love the blog header image.

  2. I don't think I could abide this film, but Maria Ozawa is definitely crazy hot!

  3. Seriously..the Maria Ozawa factor somehow jumps this to Must See.