October 14, 2008

Solo Review: Quarantine (2008)

Sub-Genre- Zombie/Survival
Cast Members of Note- The hot little sister of Showtime's Dexter, Jennifer Carpenter, and Jay Hernandez of Hostel fame.

A sassy and sexy news reporter spends the night with a group of local Firemen; not like she normally does on the weekend, naked and drunk, but for an actual story for the News Channel she works for. Oh, there's still pole sliding involved, mind you, but it's of the PG-13 variety... sigh.

"Down there? Oh, that's just certain death!"
Anywho, they head on a call to an apartment building where a strange virus is spreading throughout the tenants, and turning them into Zombies! The Government comes and seals them in, because the Government doesn't give a shit, and they're forced to survive on their own. Or try.

Hang on!
I won't ruin the ending for you here, because it ends pretty much the same way that [Rec] did, but suffice it to say that even though they put up one hell of a fight, they're all pretty much doomed.

"Are you seriously looking down my shirt right now?!?"
Aside from the whole shaky-cam thing, and the fact that the original was way better, this was an alright movie. I can see how most people don't know that this is a remake, and I can also see how some people really like this one, but my advice is to see the original, [REC], because it's one hell of a great flick, and way better than Quarantine in most ways.

I do want to say one thing about Jennifer Carpenter; aside from her being adorable, she did a really good job in this movie. I've read a lot of feedback online that says how horrible she was in Quarantine, but that's wrong; it's her character that sucks, not her performance. She's great on Dexter, and she is just about as solid here, the problem is that her character is a whiny and nonsensical nitwit, so let's cut the girl some slack, shall we?

"Yeah, fuckers."
Then ending of [REC] made that movie for me, and in this remake, they've changed it up and it left me feeling flat. I really don't want to spoil anything about either movie, especially since Quarantine just came out in Theaters, but for me the "new" ending lost it's impact when the story went another way than the original.

Facing death at the hands of a horde of killer "Zombies," I'm sure that filming everything would be my last priority. Also, the reporter bitch needed a few good smacks throughout this one... in fact, I swear to fuck that I would have beat her with the camera to shut her up while we're running and hiding for our lives. Honest Injun.

Shut up when we're hiding for our lives!
There are some good scenes of carnage in this one; throats get ripped open, there are plenty of bloody bodies, bloody Zombies, crushed rats, dogs killing people, smashed faces... and plenty more on top of all of that. This movie definitely delivers in the gore department.

This movie also delivers in the Creepy Kid department.
Not a damn bit of skin. Girl wears a tank top well though...

Here they come... quick, take your shirt off if you want to live!
For the record, it's not rabies. Also, don't trust your kids. Also, don't scream when you're trying to hide!

Also, you are not Spiderman. Or a mime.
This was a decent enough flick, but knowing that it's a remake (and that the original was better), decent is as about as good as it gets. It's still worth a watch though, but don't sleep on the original.


Quarantine is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.


Jennifer Carpenter is a true Hottie, Horror or otherwise..

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