Lindsay Lohan auditioned for True Blood...

..via her Twitter account. Yeah. I guess some fake vampire teeth and the whore costume she's wearing are supposed to make the world forget that no one wants to hire her because she can't act her way out of a nutsack. Google it, you'll see.

I have more chance of ejaculating a rainbow that would whisk me away to Scarlett Johansson's house to have begin an endless threesome with her and Sookie Stackhouse, than Lindsay f'ing Lohan does of landing a role on True Blood. In fact, I'm going to try it right now.

Stop twittering Lindsay, and by twittering I mean doing cocaine.

*UPDATE: The rainbow thing didn't work.