December 29, 2008

Solo Review - Jack Brooks Monster Slayer (2008)

Sub-Genre- Monster!
Cast Members of Note- Freddy Kreuger himself, Robert Englund! Also, the hot as lava Rachel Skarsten.

Jack Brooks has anger issues. From the start, we see this displayed and explained to us through flashbacks, via random confrontations, and even in his "edgy" therapy sessions. He learns that seeing his family killed by a Monster when he was a kid is the cause of it all, and that's obviously why he's become a plumber too.

He's shy around girls though. Go figure.
He goes to therapy, shows up late to class, talks to the Teacher, deals with his snotty girlfriend, talks to the Teacher, goes to the Teacher's house and fixes his plumbing, goes to the hardware store, wakes some old guy up, discovers some mystery about an old plumbing part, goes back to class... which takes up the first 60 minutes of the movie.

Once Robert Englund becomes a Pizza-the-Hut-Monster-Thing though, the monster ass-kicking begins! I really have no more to say on the subject. 

Oh man...
I give mad props to this movie for using no CGI whatsoever to create any of the creatures or gore FX. ZERO CGI. It's very refreshing to see FX look good in the old fashioned way for a change. The professor monster was awesome... in a throwback, campy, cheesy sort of way, mind you, but awesome none the less. 

Robert Englund why?
Was this movie supposed to be funny? I think I may have missed the parts that were funny. Slither did this way better. 

"Not funny? Not funny?!? I will now quizzically frown at you!"
Many people defend this film's slow pace due to it being an "origin" movie, which sets up the real action to come in the sequel... I say that's crap, because if I don't care about the origin, why in the world would I want to see a part 2? A movie's goal, origin story or not, is to grab a hold of me and not let me go for the entire running time, and that's something that Jack Brooks didn't manage to do at all.

It made us want to scream too, Rachel.
Eew... all kinds of gross and oozing stuff is everywhere in this movie, being shoved in people mouths via tentacle, and turning people into monsters! Awesome!

Nope.

What a waste of those.
Horror comedies aren't always funny.

Just stop already!
This one didn't do it for me at all, and it avoids getting a D rating only because of the awesome Old School FX used on the film. The first hour was pretty bland for the most part, and not very funny at all, though I think they tried really hard to make it work. Some will love it, some will hate it; I'd just wait to catch this one on Cable if you can.

C-

This may be the hottest picture ever taken...

1 comment :

  1. yeah...This movie seemed like something I'd love, but in the end it felt as though it was just trying to hard to be campy.

    The monster at the end was sweet though,and was what saved the movie me as well.

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