Quick VOD Review: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)

It's not often that an action movie comes along and blows us away anymore. There's never a shortage of them, you understand, but the truly great ones that leave you wanting more are simply few and far between.

We've definitely come a bit late to the Kingsman party, and shame on us for that; having just finished watching this one on VOD, we truly regret not having seen it on a big screen back in February, because this is exactly the kind of movie that begs to be seen in theaters.

No matter where it's seen though, Kingsman is one of the craziest, most enjoyable action movies that we've seen in a long time. Maybe even since The Raid 2.

This is going to be a pretty brief "review."

Kingsman is basically about a troubled kid whose father is killed while working for a top secret British spy organization, and his subsequent recruitment into said organization years later by the spy whose life his father saved.

I know that's a simplistic way to put it, but we went into his movie knowing even less than that, and I really feel like knowing so little made it a better experience for us. Plus, we have a lot of actual Horror movies to get to, so we're here to make our point, and be gone.

HARRY HART, GENTLEMAN ASS-KICKER.

"Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day." That line from the movie not only sums it up perfectly, but explains exactly why it worked so well overall; Kingsman knows what it is, and more importantly what it wants to be, and it swings for the fences on both counts.

This is a crazy, self-aware movie that is as humorous as it is fun. And violent. In a way, it plays almost like a family-friendly action movie like Spy Kids... if you were to infuse Spy Kids with a liberal dose of Kill Bill's violence... although for all of its overt violence, it's relatively bloodless. Or maybe it feels more like Kick-Ass. Yeah, it definitely has that Comic Book feel about it, which makes sense, because it's based on a Comic Book.

If any of that made any sense to you, then you're one-up on us... and we wrote it. 

WE OFTEN HAVE NIGHT TERRORS JUST LIKE THAT.

As crazy and violent as this movie was, and it really was, it's great to learn that Colin Firth and Taron Egerton did almost all of their own stunts. As action-packed as this movie is, that's a pretty impressive feat in our eyes. And like everyone else who has seen Kingsman, the Church scene was probably our favorite.

As much of a focus as the action was in this movie, it was the cast that really made this one come alive like it did. First and foremost, Colin Firth makes for a perfect ass-kicking gentleman spy. He's always been a top-notch actor, but in this one, he became something of an action star, which was as enjoyable to watch as it was surprising. In what was basically his first leading film role, Taron Egerton was pretty good as Eggsy as well. For our money though, it was Mark Strong who we enjoyed the most here. That's no slight to the rest of the cast, but he was just perfect as the Kingsman handler.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS GUY...

I will admit though that as good as he was in this movie, Samuel L. Jackson's lisp felt a little out of place. I mean it definitely fit in with the movie's quirky oddness, but it was just a bit distracting.

The soundtrack, and how they used it, was pretty great too. Never in my life did I imagine seeing the finale of any movie, let alone an action flick like this, play out to the sound of Give it Up by KC and The Sunshine Band. I loved every second of it.

DOES THIS LITTLE GUY LIVE OR DIE? WE'LL NEVER TELL!

"I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam."

Perfection.

WE NEED  MORE HARRY HART IN OUR LIVES. SEQUEL, PLEASE.

We were definitely tempted to give Kingsman the rare A+ grade, because we absolutely loved the hell out of it, but if we're being honest, it's not perfect. Then again, what movie is? So maybe it is an A+ then, perfection be damned!

Stupid letter grades aside, this is one kick-ass, fun, awesome movie that impressed us way more than we ever expected it to. When it hits Blu-ray in June, we'll be adding it to our collection without hesitation, and so should you. *At least rent it, guys. It was so much fun.

A

Kingsman: The Secret Service is available now on VOD, and will hit Blu-ray & DVD on June 9th.

Roxy, Gazelle, and the anal Swedish Princess; they all rocked it in this movie, so how could we possibly pick a favorite?